After 19 years and over 50 leagues, I’ve finally started to feel burnt out on fantasy baseball.
I never thought the day would come, but in recent weeks that is how I’ve felt; thus, nary a blog for close to two weeks.
But luckily, I think I’m coming out of my funk and I’m ready to tackle the second half.
While the All-Star game is the ceremonial halfway mark of the season, the real halfway mark is this week. Hope you are ready to make a run.
As you can tell by the title, the main focus of today’s piece is Edinson Volquez and his league leading 1.71 ERA.
In fact, it’s not just Volquez who I’m going to focus on but also Justin Duscherer (1.99 ERA) and Cliff Lee (2.45 ERA).
Those are the top three in the majors in ERA as of today, Wednesday, June 25th. And, amazingly, those three also went undrafted in many a mixed league back in March.
So why do I say do not trade for Volquez, or Duscherer, or Lee?
One word: HISTORY.
The simple truth is that in this day and age of monster mashing, the sub 3 ERA is a dinosaur, reserved for the elite among the elite. From 2006-07, there were only 3 starting pitchers with ERA’s below 3.00. Peavy in ’07 and Santana and Oswalt (barely 2.98) in ’06.
If you think for one minute that Volquez, Lee or Duscherer are going to finish the season with ERA’s below 3, you are out of your mind. It will not happen.
Yet, I still see owners trading for these guys as if any of them actually had some kind of track record.
It’s just simple math. For any of these three to continue what they have done over the first three months would be a statistical anomaly, one that I would not be willing to bet on.
Exhibit A for the prosecution: statistics from the past seven seasons. Below are the league leaders in ERA at the midway point of the season, from 2001-07, followed by their second half numbers.
2007
Chris Young
1st half-2.00
2nd half-4.80
Jake Peavy
1st half-2.19
2nd half-2.93
Dan Haren
1st half-2.30
2nd half-4.15
2006
Francisco Liriano
1st half-1.33
2nd half-3.03
Josh Johnson
1st half-2.21
2nd half-4.16
Brandon Webb
1st half-2.65
2nd half-3.76
2005
Roger Clemens
1st half-1.48
2nd half-2.42
Roy Oswalt
1st half-2.39
2nd half-3.65
Dontrelle Willis
1st half-2.39
2nd half-2.91
2004
Ben Sheets
1st half-2.26
2nd half-3.17
Al Leiter
1st half-2.40
2nd half-4.02
Jake Peavy
1st half-2.43
2nd half-2.18
2003
Dontrelle Willis
1st half-2.08
2nd half-4.60
Esteban Loaiza
1st half-2.21
2nd half-3.84
Kevin Brown
1st half-2.30
2nd half-2.50
2002
Tom Glavine
1st half-2.27
2nd half-3.93
Woody Williams
1st half-2.35
2nd half-3.04 (just 5 games due to injury)
Derek Lowe
1st half-2.36
2nd half-2.83
2001
Pedro Martinez
1st half-2.26
2nd half-3.46 (just 3 games due to injury)
Greg Maddux
1st half-2.41
2nd half-3.82
John Burkett
1st half-2.49
2nd half-3.79
A couple things to note from the above.
1. Of the 21 pitchers listed above, only one saw his ERA actually go down in the second half…Peavy in 2004.
2. Of the 21, only 6 posted an ERA below 3 in their respective second halves.
3. Pitchers who stand out as anomalies (Al Leiter, John Burkett, Josh Johnson, Chris Young) all had severe flameouts in the second half. I would be more apt to compare Volquez, Lee and Duscherer to those four guys, before I would put them in the class of Clemens, Peavy and Kevin Brown.
In many instances, these league leaders had decent second halves. In 2008, an ERA below 4 almost always warrants fantasy consideration.
But the point I’m trying to make is that if you deal for Volquez and his miniscule ERA, don’t think that you are taking it with you. These three months of off the chart stats are gone. You are going to get the leftovers…more than likely an ERA around 3.50.
Is that horrible? Not at all. But keep that in mind when you are making a deal. Would you trade Chase Utley for a pitcher you know was going to post an ERA of 3.84? We all know the answer to that. Just beware. The numbers don’t lie.
P.S. In case you didn’t realize it, Chipper Jones ain’t going to hit .400 either. Just in case you really thought it was going to happen.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
YEA OR NAY FOR JUNE 13TH
It’s been a long time coming, but we finally got our first glimpse of ‘Celebrity Circus’ this week. In case you were among the billions who missed the show, here are some highlights:
The cast includes: Janet Evans, Christopher Knight, Stacey Dash, Rachel Hunter, Wee-Man from Jackass, Antonio Sabato Jr., and Blu Cantrell. The host is Joey Fatone.
Over/Under on names you recognize from the above paragraph: 3.5.
What might be the most horrifying is that ABC was working to create their own Circus of the Stars, but had to scrap it because NBC stole all the best talent.
Gone are the days when real, true celebrities would appear on such shows as Circus of the Stars and Battle of the Network Stars. As a kid, I actually remember looking forward to these programs.
Remember Barbi Benton flying through the air on the trapeze and being able to catch a quick glimpse of her talents?
How about Jamie Farr taming lions only using his nose and a feather boa?
And then, every teenage boys fantasy, the Landers’ sisters? I was always partial to Judy, who, oddly enough, went on to marry former Dodger Tom Niedenfuer.
Circus of the Stars was on every year from ’77 to ’94, which pretty much encompasses my entire childhood, thus the fond memories.
They even got Gil Gerard to do it one season! Buck Rogers himself!! But alas, no Twiki or Birdman.
This reincarnation blasphemes the name Circus of the Stars and should be called Circus of The People You Might Recognize But Just Can’t Figure Out Who They Are. I’m sad.
On to the Yea or Nay:
YEA: For the movie 'Meatballs'. I would like to start up a campaign that would mandate ‘Meatballs’ be shown at least once a day from June until September. The greatest camp movie ever, thanks to Bill Murray. This song just puts you in the mood.
NAY: To the movie ‘Strange Wilderness’. What a terrific cast and a great concept. Steve Zahn, Jonah Hill, Justin Long, Ernest Borgnine. I’ve seen a lot of movies and this might have been THE WORST EVER. I do not recommend.
YEA: To this statement…mark it down. Kevin Kolb will be the starting quarterback for your Philadelphia Eagles in game one of the regular season. I’m not saying YEA because it’s a good thing…I’m saying YEA because it will happen.
NAY: To this movie, one that I am not proud of. I wrote it in college during my senior year and at the time, thought it was amazing. But it isn’t and I’m not proud of it. Take 20 minutes and watch, if only for the debut of a young Gregg Ziliani. Also keep in mind that we were doing a lot of drugs at the time.
YEA: To Milton Bradley. He’s one crazy mofo, but I don’t blame him for wanting to tear up that announcer. Let it out Milton….and p.s. You might want to deal him now if you have him on your fantasy squad. Something bad is on the horizon, I can sense it.
NAY: To the Kobe/MJ comparisons. Can we finally put them to rest? Would MJ ever allow his team to lose a game like the Lakers did last night? Being unselfish and all is terrific Kobe, but sometimes you’ve got to be the man and put the team on your back. Kobe used to do that and got criticized for it. But he’s become brainwashed that he needs to share and that’s not always the case.
YEA: To Willie Randolph keeping his job. The only chance the Mets have of turning this ship around is Willie getting fired, so let’s keep him in as long as possible.
NAY: To Jay Bruce for MVP. That was a nice week you had.
YEA: To Jorge Cantu. Mea culpa, Jorge. I didn’t think you had it in you.
NAY: To the Nationals. Do you think anyone would notice if they packed their things and moved back to Montreal?
YEA: To Fred Lewis of the Giants. Brother is tearing it up! Check his stats and you’ll see what I’m saying.
YEA: To Ozzie Guillen. People are always complaining about coachspeak and bland press conferences (Andy Reid, come on down!), but Ozzie tells it like it is and nobody should complain about it.
NAY: To Victor Martinez. Now out 6-8 weeks. Some guys with more home runs than you: Chris Snelling, Corky Miller, Mike Rivera and Travis Denker. Some guys with more RBI than you: Rod Barajas, Marco Scutaro, John Bowker, and Jason Michaels.
YEA: To the Cardinals…really, Tony LaRussa. I know he’s a douche, but this team was not supposed to be any good. No Cris Carpenter, no Izzy, a banged up Pujols. Yet they still are cruising along with the second best record in the NL.
NAY: To trading Ken Griffey. Really, what would somebody give up for him? He’s Ken Griffey, not KEN GRIFFEY.
YEA: To Corey Hart, you’re atypical slow starter. I have him on none of my teams, though I tried, knowing he would turn things around, which he has. Hope you didn’t bail.
NAY: To Joe Blanton…or should we call him Joe Blandon. He does everything equally average. No K’s, never shuts down a team…he just goes out every five days, pitches 7 innings, gives up 3 or 4 runs and strikes out 3. Blechhh.
NAY: To Sidney Ponson. On a team with Milton Bradley, Ponson was considered the trouble maker. Says a lot.
YEA: To the Bears for cutting off Cedric Benson. It takes a lot for a team to bail on a first round pick, but if anybody deserved it, it was Cedric. He was lousy on the field, a scumbag off it and his teammates hate him. He’s got Dallas Cowboy written all over him.
NAY: To the Jair Jurjenns project. Hope you enjoyed the first month and a half, because the wheels have come off and he’s not wearing a seatbelt.
YEA: To Ryan Howard kicking it into gear. It better happen soon, or all of us Chase Utley owners are going to pay. Twice this week the Marlins intentionally walked Utley, preferring to pitch to Howard with the bases loaded as opposed to Utley with two men on. Heartbreaking.
YEA: To Troy Tulowitzki. He tore his quad off the bone only a month and a half ago and he’s already close to coming back. As an owner, I’m happy, but I’m also leery.
NAY: To expanding our fantasy football league from 10 to 12 owners. Figured I would use this forum to express my dissent.
YEA: To the new show on Nickelodeon ‘The Mighty B’. HI-LARIOUS is all I can say. It seems like all the good writers are going to cartoons, because they aren’t writing sitcoms. The B is more entertaining than 90 percent of the ‘grownup’ schlock airing on the networks. Did we really need a new ‘Password’?
NAY: To cats. They don’t make them like they used to. I thought I saw a mouse run across the floor late the other night. Our cat was sitting right next to me and he just looked at me as if to say ‘Are you going to get that?’
Story of my life.
The cast includes: Janet Evans, Christopher Knight, Stacey Dash, Rachel Hunter, Wee-Man from Jackass, Antonio Sabato Jr., and Blu Cantrell. The host is Joey Fatone.
Over/Under on names you recognize from the above paragraph: 3.5.
What might be the most horrifying is that ABC was working to create their own Circus of the Stars, but had to scrap it because NBC stole all the best talent.
Gone are the days when real, true celebrities would appear on such shows as Circus of the Stars and Battle of the Network Stars. As a kid, I actually remember looking forward to these programs.
Remember Barbi Benton flying through the air on the trapeze and being able to catch a quick glimpse of her talents?
How about Jamie Farr taming lions only using his nose and a feather boa?
And then, every teenage boys fantasy, the Landers’ sisters? I was always partial to Judy, who, oddly enough, went on to marry former Dodger Tom Niedenfuer.
Circus of the Stars was on every year from ’77 to ’94, which pretty much encompasses my entire childhood, thus the fond memories.
They even got Gil Gerard to do it one season! Buck Rogers himself!! But alas, no Twiki or Birdman.
This reincarnation blasphemes the name Circus of the Stars and should be called Circus of The People You Might Recognize But Just Can’t Figure Out Who They Are. I’m sad.
On to the Yea or Nay:
YEA: For the movie 'Meatballs'. I would like to start up a campaign that would mandate ‘Meatballs’ be shown at least once a day from June until September. The greatest camp movie ever, thanks to Bill Murray. This song just puts you in the mood.
NAY: To the movie ‘Strange Wilderness’. What a terrific cast and a great concept. Steve Zahn, Jonah Hill, Justin Long, Ernest Borgnine. I’ve seen a lot of movies and this might have been THE WORST EVER. I do not recommend.
YEA: To this statement…mark it down. Kevin Kolb will be the starting quarterback for your Philadelphia Eagles in game one of the regular season. I’m not saying YEA because it’s a good thing…I’m saying YEA because it will happen.
NAY: To this movie, one that I am not proud of. I wrote it in college during my senior year and at the time, thought it was amazing. But it isn’t and I’m not proud of it. Take 20 minutes and watch, if only for the debut of a young Gregg Ziliani. Also keep in mind that we were doing a lot of drugs at the time.
YEA: To Milton Bradley. He’s one crazy mofo, but I don’t blame him for wanting to tear up that announcer. Let it out Milton….and p.s. You might want to deal him now if you have him on your fantasy squad. Something bad is on the horizon, I can sense it.
NAY: To the Kobe/MJ comparisons. Can we finally put them to rest? Would MJ ever allow his team to lose a game like the Lakers did last night? Being unselfish and all is terrific Kobe, but sometimes you’ve got to be the man and put the team on your back. Kobe used to do that and got criticized for it. But he’s become brainwashed that he needs to share and that’s not always the case.
YEA: To Willie Randolph keeping his job. The only chance the Mets have of turning this ship around is Willie getting fired, so let’s keep him in as long as possible.
NAY: To Jay Bruce for MVP. That was a nice week you had.
YEA: To Jorge Cantu. Mea culpa, Jorge. I didn’t think you had it in you.
NAY: To the Nationals. Do you think anyone would notice if they packed their things and moved back to Montreal?
YEA: To Fred Lewis of the Giants. Brother is tearing it up! Check his stats and you’ll see what I’m saying.
YEA: To Ozzie Guillen. People are always complaining about coachspeak and bland press conferences (Andy Reid, come on down!), but Ozzie tells it like it is and nobody should complain about it.
NAY: To Victor Martinez. Now out 6-8 weeks. Some guys with more home runs than you: Chris Snelling, Corky Miller, Mike Rivera and Travis Denker. Some guys with more RBI than you: Rod Barajas, Marco Scutaro, John Bowker, and Jason Michaels.
YEA: To the Cardinals…really, Tony LaRussa. I know he’s a douche, but this team was not supposed to be any good. No Cris Carpenter, no Izzy, a banged up Pujols. Yet they still are cruising along with the second best record in the NL.
NAY: To trading Ken Griffey. Really, what would somebody give up for him? He’s Ken Griffey, not KEN GRIFFEY.
YEA: To Corey Hart, you’re atypical slow starter. I have him on none of my teams, though I tried, knowing he would turn things around, which he has. Hope you didn’t bail.
NAY: To Joe Blanton…or should we call him Joe Blandon. He does everything equally average. No K’s, never shuts down a team…he just goes out every five days, pitches 7 innings, gives up 3 or 4 runs and strikes out 3. Blechhh.
NAY: To Sidney Ponson. On a team with Milton Bradley, Ponson was considered the trouble maker. Says a lot.
YEA: To the Bears for cutting off Cedric Benson. It takes a lot for a team to bail on a first round pick, but if anybody deserved it, it was Cedric. He was lousy on the field, a scumbag off it and his teammates hate him. He’s got Dallas Cowboy written all over him.
NAY: To the Jair Jurjenns project. Hope you enjoyed the first month and a half, because the wheels have come off and he’s not wearing a seatbelt.
YEA: To Ryan Howard kicking it into gear. It better happen soon, or all of us Chase Utley owners are going to pay. Twice this week the Marlins intentionally walked Utley, preferring to pitch to Howard with the bases loaded as opposed to Utley with two men on. Heartbreaking.
YEA: To Troy Tulowitzki. He tore his quad off the bone only a month and a half ago and he’s already close to coming back. As an owner, I’m happy, but I’m also leery.
NAY: To expanding our fantasy football league from 10 to 12 owners. Figured I would use this forum to express my dissent.
YEA: To the new show on Nickelodeon ‘The Mighty B’. HI-LARIOUS is all I can say. It seems like all the good writers are going to cartoons, because they aren’t writing sitcoms. The B is more entertaining than 90 percent of the ‘grownup’ schlock airing on the networks. Did we really need a new ‘Password’?
NAY: To cats. They don’t make them like they used to. I thought I saw a mouse run across the floor late the other night. Our cat was sitting right next to me and he just looked at me as if to say ‘Are you going to get that?’
Story of my life.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY…LEAVE ME ALONE
I’m here to pledge my devotion towards the revamping of Father’s Day.
We all know it’s a disgrace the way holidays like Christmas, Easter, Valentines Day and the rest have become commercialized.
But I think we still have a chance to salvage Father’s Day. The men of this country need to stand up and make themselves heard!
The people making these commercials are idiots. You know what? Take your ‘fun’ trip to Lowes and shove it. Since when does buying Dad some paint put a smile on his face? All it is is more work...but they try and make us think it’s a grand old time.
Try this next Mother’s Day. Tell your wife you are taking her for a fun filled trip to the Shop Rite, where she can buy all the food she wants and then come home and spend the rest of the day in the kitchen. Just try it, I dare you.
No dear, I don’t want to spend Father’s Day shopping for slacks at Men’s Wearhouse. It might sound like fun to you, but guess what? IT’S NOT YOUR DAY!!! IT’S MINE!
Here is what I want for Father’s Day weekend. Start off with a bottle of Captain Morgan’s and some drunk sex on Saturday night, a pound of scrapple in bed Sunday morning, 10 minutes with the kids where they give me their homemade cards, maybe round 2 with the wife and then LEAVE ME ALONE!
Sunday will be chockfull of great sports on TV…loads of baseball, the final round of the US Open, and the NBA Finals. I’ll get out of bed around dinner time and cook up some animal on the grill and then it’s on to the couch.
I don’t remember Father’s Day when I was a little kid and I’m pretty sure that’s because it wasn’t a big deal. My Pop didn’t want to spend the day replacing the grout in the shower or trimming hedges. He got his card in the morning and then spent the rest of the day in the bar.
At least I plan on staying home.
But if you have to give me a gift for Father’s Day, how about getting some of my fellow owner’s to actually listen to what comes out of their mouths. I’ve got two ridiculous examples, both of which entered my e-mail inbox this past week.
Ex. 1: NL only league, I offer Hiroki Kuroda for Rickie Weeks. This is a rotisserie league, 5x5 and the team with Weeks is near the bottom of the standings, mainly thanks to him having only 16 points out of a possible 50 in pitching.
If he deals Weeks, he can replace him in the lineup with Ronnie Belliard...adequate, not a total slob.
I wasn’t offended by the rejection…if you don’t like a guy, then you don’t like a guy.
What pissed me off was this owner saying: Ahh no...you’ve got to be kidding, right?
And then countering with an offer of Weeks for Chase Utley, saying this was about as fair as the deal I had offered.
I get what I deserve for allowing a first time ever owner into the league.
He gets what he deserved when Weeks goes on the DL two days later. Enjoy last place, jackass.
Ex. 2: AL only league, 5x5 head to head. I’m desperate at the corners, thanks to Big Papi going on the DL. I go against my better judgement and offer up Matt Garza for sack of poo Eric Chavez.
This guy needs starting pitching and Chavez is better than what I have right now, which is Jeff Larish...egads.
Anyway, the answer comes back no and again, I’m okay with the decision. But it’s the rationalization that I don’t get.
The owner says he isn’t adverse to dealing Chavez, but he wants a pitcher with more strikeouts and a better ERA and WHIP.
So, in essence, it sounds like he is holding out for CC Sabathia or Josh Beckett.
Good luck with that…And be sure to enjoy every one of those 10 home runs that Chavez is going to hit this year.
I’m not sure what happened in MLB this week, but the injury fairy is pissed and has come to collect. And if you are in a deep league, this is the best time to find some bargains. Lots of new guys earning some important playing time….here are some to target.
Brandon Morrow-We’ve all known something is wrong with Mariners closer JJ Putz, but it finally came to a head Wednesday when he left after one better, due to pain in his elbow. This could be serious and Morrow would be the clear cut choice to step in.
Chris Duncan-He’s got three weeks to show he belongs on the big league roster. He’ll hold down first base until Albert Pujols comes back. You know Duncan has power and if he can hit these next couple weeks, he could stick around as an outfielder.
Kelly Shoppach-I’ve always been a big fan of Shoppach and if Victor Martinez’ elbow is serious, then Shoppach would make a nice fill in. As a part timer, he’s got more home runs than V-Mart anyway, so if given a full time gig, he could be nice.
Reed Johnson/Jim Edmonds-Only in the deepest of leagues. Both these guys are pretty crummy, but they’ll both be able to start now that Alfonso Soriano is out for at least a month. We could also see the return of Felix Pie…yuck.
Marlon Anderson/Chris Aguila/Endy Chavez-With Ryan Church and Moises Alou both ailing, the Mets outfield is in distress. Fernando Tatis has reverted back to being Fernando Tatis, so that leaves some openings at Shea. Chavez and Anderson should get the majority of starts, but Aguila could easily unseat either with a little production.
Andy LaRoche-He’s been tearing it up in Triple A, but the Dodgers don’t have a set spot for him. LaRoche can play 1st, 2nd or 3rd and Joe Torre says he ‘will play against lefthanders’, so that guarantees at least a couple starts each week somewhere. He hit a home run in his first game up, so the time to grab him is now.
Armando Galaragga-I’ve been hyping him all year long and now his spot in the rotation is set in stone. Jeremy Bonderman is out for the year and Dontrelle Willis has turned into Rick Ankiel, the pitcher. The Tigers are scoring 6 runs a game when Armando starts, so he’s worth your time.
We all know it’s a disgrace the way holidays like Christmas, Easter, Valentines Day and the rest have become commercialized.
But I think we still have a chance to salvage Father’s Day. The men of this country need to stand up and make themselves heard!
The people making these commercials are idiots. You know what? Take your ‘fun’ trip to Lowes and shove it. Since when does buying Dad some paint put a smile on his face? All it is is more work...but they try and make us think it’s a grand old time.
Try this next Mother’s Day. Tell your wife you are taking her for a fun filled trip to the Shop Rite, where she can buy all the food she wants and then come home and spend the rest of the day in the kitchen. Just try it, I dare you.
No dear, I don’t want to spend Father’s Day shopping for slacks at Men’s Wearhouse. It might sound like fun to you, but guess what? IT’S NOT YOUR DAY!!! IT’S MINE!
Here is what I want for Father’s Day weekend. Start off with a bottle of Captain Morgan’s and some drunk sex on Saturday night, a pound of scrapple in bed Sunday morning, 10 minutes with the kids where they give me their homemade cards, maybe round 2 with the wife and then LEAVE ME ALONE!
Sunday will be chockfull of great sports on TV…loads of baseball, the final round of the US Open, and the NBA Finals. I’ll get out of bed around dinner time and cook up some animal on the grill and then it’s on to the couch.
I don’t remember Father’s Day when I was a little kid and I’m pretty sure that’s because it wasn’t a big deal. My Pop didn’t want to spend the day replacing the grout in the shower or trimming hedges. He got his card in the morning and then spent the rest of the day in the bar.
At least I plan on staying home.
But if you have to give me a gift for Father’s Day, how about getting some of my fellow owner’s to actually listen to what comes out of their mouths. I’ve got two ridiculous examples, both of which entered my e-mail inbox this past week.
Ex. 1: NL only league, I offer Hiroki Kuroda for Rickie Weeks. This is a rotisserie league, 5x5 and the team with Weeks is near the bottom of the standings, mainly thanks to him having only 16 points out of a possible 50 in pitching.
If he deals Weeks, he can replace him in the lineup with Ronnie Belliard...adequate, not a total slob.
I wasn’t offended by the rejection…if you don’t like a guy, then you don’t like a guy.
What pissed me off was this owner saying: Ahh no...you’ve got to be kidding, right?
And then countering with an offer of Weeks for Chase Utley, saying this was about as fair as the deal I had offered.
I get what I deserve for allowing a first time ever owner into the league.
He gets what he deserved when Weeks goes on the DL two days later. Enjoy last place, jackass.
Ex. 2: AL only league, 5x5 head to head. I’m desperate at the corners, thanks to Big Papi going on the DL. I go against my better judgement and offer up Matt Garza for sack of poo Eric Chavez.
This guy needs starting pitching and Chavez is better than what I have right now, which is Jeff Larish...egads.
Anyway, the answer comes back no and again, I’m okay with the decision. But it’s the rationalization that I don’t get.
The owner says he isn’t adverse to dealing Chavez, but he wants a pitcher with more strikeouts and a better ERA and WHIP.
So, in essence, it sounds like he is holding out for CC Sabathia or Josh Beckett.
Good luck with that…And be sure to enjoy every one of those 10 home runs that Chavez is going to hit this year.
I’m not sure what happened in MLB this week, but the injury fairy is pissed and has come to collect. And if you are in a deep league, this is the best time to find some bargains. Lots of new guys earning some important playing time….here are some to target.
Brandon Morrow-We’ve all known something is wrong with Mariners closer JJ Putz, but it finally came to a head Wednesday when he left after one better, due to pain in his elbow. This could be serious and Morrow would be the clear cut choice to step in.
Chris Duncan-He’s got three weeks to show he belongs on the big league roster. He’ll hold down first base until Albert Pujols comes back. You know Duncan has power and if he can hit these next couple weeks, he could stick around as an outfielder.
Kelly Shoppach-I’ve always been a big fan of Shoppach and if Victor Martinez’ elbow is serious, then Shoppach would make a nice fill in. As a part timer, he’s got more home runs than V-Mart anyway, so if given a full time gig, he could be nice.
Reed Johnson/Jim Edmonds-Only in the deepest of leagues. Both these guys are pretty crummy, but they’ll both be able to start now that Alfonso Soriano is out for at least a month. We could also see the return of Felix Pie…yuck.
Marlon Anderson/Chris Aguila/Endy Chavez-With Ryan Church and Moises Alou both ailing, the Mets outfield is in distress. Fernando Tatis has reverted back to being Fernando Tatis, so that leaves some openings at Shea. Chavez and Anderson should get the majority of starts, but Aguila could easily unseat either with a little production.
Andy LaRoche-He’s been tearing it up in Triple A, but the Dodgers don’t have a set spot for him. LaRoche can play 1st, 2nd or 3rd and Joe Torre says he ‘will play against lefthanders’, so that guarantees at least a couple starts each week somewhere. He hit a home run in his first game up, so the time to grab him is now.
Armando Galaragga-I’ve been hyping him all year long and now his spot in the rotation is set in stone. Jeremy Bonderman is out for the year and Dontrelle Willis has turned into Rick Ankiel, the pitcher. The Tigers are scoring 6 runs a game when Armando starts, so he’s worth your time.
Monday, June 9, 2008
YEA OR NAY FOR JUNE 6TH
Finally we are into June and tempers are flaring all over Major League Baseball, as well as in most fantasy leagues.
In case you missed it, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (they will always be the DEVIL Rays…why even bother trying to change the name) went off the deep end Thursday night, taking their frustrations out on the superior Red Sox.
In no way will I attempt to defend Coco Crisp….he is a douche. But the Devil Rays need to learn what being the bigger man is about. Crisp is a loudmouth punk and the Rays fell for his crap.
But can somebody please, just once, kick Jonny Gomes’ ass?
He punked Sandy Duncan in spring training, blindsiding him from right field. And this week, he drags his 300 pound lard ass off the bench and batters Coco Crisp while he is pinned to the ground by Dioner Navarro. Way to prove yourself Jonny…I can only assume all this rage is pent up from not having an ‘H’ in his name like every other Johnny on this planet.
The dumbest part of this whole thing was the fact that this was a pretty damn important game, as far as the AL East is concerned.
I can envision the pregame pep talk from manager Joe Madden.
‘Fellas, for the first time ever, we are real players in this division. You’ve got a shot of shocking the world this season. We win tonight and we are back in first place. But I think it will be better if we get our opening day starter tossed out for beaning little old Coco Crisp, and in essence, forfeiting the game. We’ll show them they can’t mess with us!’
And then how about Manny and Youk getting into it in the dugout. I really think Manny didn’t realize Youk was on his team and thought there was in intruder in the dugout. Where Manny comes from, there aren’t many bald white dudes with overgrown goatees. It was just natural instinct.
No matter how you shape it, it’s going to be an amazing summer in the AL East!
On to this week’s Yea or Nay:
YEA: To the Yankees and the whole Joba situation. I call it a YEA because I’m happy they are screwing it all up. What is to stop every single team from doing what the Blue Jays did….sitting on pitches and getting JC’s pitch count up, thus getting him out of the game early. That’s mistake number 1…not having done this in the pre-season. Mistake number 2 comes from not having a replacement for the second coming in the 7th and 8th innings. Kyle Farnsworth stinks, Yankee fans don’t even deny it. Mariano can’t pitch two innings like he used to. It’s nice to see panic back in the Bronx, without the looting and pillaging.
I also loved hearing the fact that Joba was always a chubby little kid. So, his father decided to name him Joba and he was fat. Thanks a lot dad…way to give your kid a built in complex.
NAY: To Trevor Hoffman. 3 blown saves and 4 losses in a little over 2 months…he is a big reason the Padres are where they are. Losing Peavy and Young doesn’t help either, but the Hoff better stash away that 7.5 million he’s earning this year, because he won’t be getting any more in the future. I traded for him after week 1 and the only thing saving me is the fact that I sent Nick Johnson to the other team.
YEA: To trading Dan Uggla. The dude is the bomb at second base, but those numbers are going to come back to earth and pretty soon. Teams are going to start pitching around the U, because Jorge Cantu is a whole heck of a lot worse. And if you think Uggla is going to hit .300 on the year, I hate to say it, but you are stupid.
NAY: To the new flick ‘Kung Fu Panda’. Really, it’s more a NAY for the movie theatres, only because my local one decided to have a premiere at 12:01 last night…the first time they could legally show it. Indiana Jones…sure. Sex and the City…okay. But Kung Fu Panda at 12:01 a.m.? DYFS should have an official on hand to see what kind of mongrels bring their kids out to see a movie at that time.
YEA: To the Mariners. Hard to give a team playing at a 21-39 clip a YEA, but the front office is doing what it can to shake the players up. No post game buffet…no hot tubs….no free time away from the media. It’s kind of like what happened in ‘Major League’, but for different reasons. The M’s are 15.5 games out of first place on June 6th…chances are this shakeup is too late, but I like the idea.
NAY: To Jason Giambi and his porno mustache. I understand you are hitting well and all, but the ‘stache and the thong have got to go.
NAY: To Matt Kemp, Kyle Farnsworth and all the other retards who appeal suspensions. Really, it’s Major League Baseball’s fault, for not hearing appeals instantly. But to basically allow these guys to decide when their suspensions begin is a joke. Don’t wait for these guys to come to New York to have a hearing. Have someone in a position where they can fly to wherever these guys are and have the appeal instantly.
YEA: To me for trading Rick Ankiel in both leagues, while he was still hot and had some value. He’s pretty much been a toad since the first two weeks of the year.
NAY: To my AL only team…It’s in deep, deep trouble. Papi, Sheffield both on the dl. Rios and Upton unable to hit for any power. Alexi Casilla has been my best player the last two weeks….frightening.
YEA: To my NL only team. Sorry to the rest of the guys in the league, but my team is unstoppable. Utley, Braun, Fielder, Dunn, Burrell, CB Young and now Pedro is back…plus Tulowitzki is coming back sooner than expected. 9 teams battling it out for second place.
YEA: To Rafael Soriano. Manny Acosta is a turd. Soriano is a really good pitcher, when healthy. He’s healthy.
YEA: Can’t believe I’m saying this, but to Adam Eaton. He hasn’t been horrible and the Phils score 9 runs a game. He’s a no doubter in NL only play and might warrant matchup consideration in mixed leagues.
NAY: To Erik Bedard. I just traded for you, you scumbag. Straighten up and fly right.
YEA: To Ian Stewart…if he’s not already, he will soon be second base eligible. He plays in Colorado and he’s got power to spare. It’s either him or Aaron Miles….who you going to pick?
NAY: To JR Towles. I missed the boat on you and now you are in the minors. Thanks for making me look stupid.
YEA: To Howie Kendrick. He’s back and he’s a mesmerizing 4 for 22 with 0 homers and 0 steals. Thanks for proving me right.
NAY: To all you suckers who are jumping on Devil Rays prospect David Price. 1-He’s putting the numbers up in SINGLE A! 2-The Devil Rays starting rotation doesn’t have an opening. Somebody actually picked him up recently in my very shallow mixed league. Waste of a quarter, Tom.
YEA: To John Smoltz and Jake Westbrook….see you guys in ’09.
NAY: To the fact that I saw my first fantasy football magazine in the bookstore the other day. BOOOO.
YEA: To the end of the T-Ball season….last game is Saturday and it was a blast….I loved every single minute of it. I’m working on the off-season regimen as we speak
In case you missed it, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (they will always be the DEVIL Rays…why even bother trying to change the name) went off the deep end Thursday night, taking their frustrations out on the superior Red Sox.
In no way will I attempt to defend Coco Crisp….he is a douche. But the Devil Rays need to learn what being the bigger man is about. Crisp is a loudmouth punk and the Rays fell for his crap.
But can somebody please, just once, kick Jonny Gomes’ ass?
He punked Sandy Duncan in spring training, blindsiding him from right field. And this week, he drags his 300 pound lard ass off the bench and batters Coco Crisp while he is pinned to the ground by Dioner Navarro. Way to prove yourself Jonny…I can only assume all this rage is pent up from not having an ‘H’ in his name like every other Johnny on this planet.
The dumbest part of this whole thing was the fact that this was a pretty damn important game, as far as the AL East is concerned.
I can envision the pregame pep talk from manager Joe Madden.
‘Fellas, for the first time ever, we are real players in this division. You’ve got a shot of shocking the world this season. We win tonight and we are back in first place. But I think it will be better if we get our opening day starter tossed out for beaning little old Coco Crisp, and in essence, forfeiting the game. We’ll show them they can’t mess with us!’
And then how about Manny and Youk getting into it in the dugout. I really think Manny didn’t realize Youk was on his team and thought there was in intruder in the dugout. Where Manny comes from, there aren’t many bald white dudes with overgrown goatees. It was just natural instinct.
No matter how you shape it, it’s going to be an amazing summer in the AL East!
On to this week’s Yea or Nay:
YEA: To the Yankees and the whole Joba situation. I call it a YEA because I’m happy they are screwing it all up. What is to stop every single team from doing what the Blue Jays did….sitting on pitches and getting JC’s pitch count up, thus getting him out of the game early. That’s mistake number 1…not having done this in the pre-season. Mistake number 2 comes from not having a replacement for the second coming in the 7th and 8th innings. Kyle Farnsworth stinks, Yankee fans don’t even deny it. Mariano can’t pitch two innings like he used to. It’s nice to see panic back in the Bronx, without the looting and pillaging.
I also loved hearing the fact that Joba was always a chubby little kid. So, his father decided to name him Joba and he was fat. Thanks a lot dad…way to give your kid a built in complex.
NAY: To Trevor Hoffman. 3 blown saves and 4 losses in a little over 2 months…he is a big reason the Padres are where they are. Losing Peavy and Young doesn’t help either, but the Hoff better stash away that 7.5 million he’s earning this year, because he won’t be getting any more in the future. I traded for him after week 1 and the only thing saving me is the fact that I sent Nick Johnson to the other team.
YEA: To trading Dan Uggla. The dude is the bomb at second base, but those numbers are going to come back to earth and pretty soon. Teams are going to start pitching around the U, because Jorge Cantu is a whole heck of a lot worse. And if you think Uggla is going to hit .300 on the year, I hate to say it, but you are stupid.
NAY: To the new flick ‘Kung Fu Panda’. Really, it’s more a NAY for the movie theatres, only because my local one decided to have a premiere at 12:01 last night…the first time they could legally show it. Indiana Jones…sure. Sex and the City…okay. But Kung Fu Panda at 12:01 a.m.? DYFS should have an official on hand to see what kind of mongrels bring their kids out to see a movie at that time.
YEA: To the Mariners. Hard to give a team playing at a 21-39 clip a YEA, but the front office is doing what it can to shake the players up. No post game buffet…no hot tubs….no free time away from the media. It’s kind of like what happened in ‘Major League’, but for different reasons. The M’s are 15.5 games out of first place on June 6th…chances are this shakeup is too late, but I like the idea.
NAY: To Jason Giambi and his porno mustache. I understand you are hitting well and all, but the ‘stache and the thong have got to go.
NAY: To Matt Kemp, Kyle Farnsworth and all the other retards who appeal suspensions. Really, it’s Major League Baseball’s fault, for not hearing appeals instantly. But to basically allow these guys to decide when their suspensions begin is a joke. Don’t wait for these guys to come to New York to have a hearing. Have someone in a position where they can fly to wherever these guys are and have the appeal instantly.
YEA: To me for trading Rick Ankiel in both leagues, while he was still hot and had some value. He’s pretty much been a toad since the first two weeks of the year.
NAY: To my AL only team…It’s in deep, deep trouble. Papi, Sheffield both on the dl. Rios and Upton unable to hit for any power. Alexi Casilla has been my best player the last two weeks….frightening.
YEA: To my NL only team. Sorry to the rest of the guys in the league, but my team is unstoppable. Utley, Braun, Fielder, Dunn, Burrell, CB Young and now Pedro is back…plus Tulowitzki is coming back sooner than expected. 9 teams battling it out for second place.
YEA: To Rafael Soriano. Manny Acosta is a turd. Soriano is a really good pitcher, when healthy. He’s healthy.
YEA: Can’t believe I’m saying this, but to Adam Eaton. He hasn’t been horrible and the Phils score 9 runs a game. He’s a no doubter in NL only play and might warrant matchup consideration in mixed leagues.
NAY: To Erik Bedard. I just traded for you, you scumbag. Straighten up and fly right.
YEA: To Ian Stewart…if he’s not already, he will soon be second base eligible. He plays in Colorado and he’s got power to spare. It’s either him or Aaron Miles….who you going to pick?
NAY: To JR Towles. I missed the boat on you and now you are in the minors. Thanks for making me look stupid.
YEA: To Howie Kendrick. He’s back and he’s a mesmerizing 4 for 22 with 0 homers and 0 steals. Thanks for proving me right.
NAY: To all you suckers who are jumping on Devil Rays prospect David Price. 1-He’s putting the numbers up in SINGLE A! 2-The Devil Rays starting rotation doesn’t have an opening. Somebody actually picked him up recently in my very shallow mixed league. Waste of a quarter, Tom.
YEA: To John Smoltz and Jake Westbrook….see you guys in ’09.
NAY: To the fact that I saw my first fantasy football magazine in the bookstore the other day. BOOOO.
YEA: To the end of the T-Ball season….last game is Saturday and it was a blast….I loved every single minute of it. I’m working on the off-season regimen as we speak
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
APATHY, THOU HAST DEFEATED ME
Apathy-(ap`uh-thee)-Lack of emotion: Lack of interest: Indifference.
There are lots of horrible things that can happen over the course of a fantasy baseball season. But if apathy comes home to roost, you may as well throw in the towel.
You can live with an owner or two who loses interest…but apathy is contagious and if you don’t nip it in the bud, it might be time to break it down.
Unlike fantasy football where you can fall off the face of the earth for 6 days and then reappear to set your lineup Sunday morn, baseball takes real commitment.
The reason rotisserie was invented in the first place was to give guys another excuse to sit around and talk baseball. If you are in a league where the majority of owners don’t even want to do that, then it’s time to blow it up.
I’ve reached that point in two of my leagues. My NL only and AL only leagues are populated by 10 owners, 9 of which participate in both.
Problem is, I just don’t get the feeling most of these guys even want to be in. That’s not a knock on the owners…if you aren’t into it, then you aren’t into it. But it certainly does suck and I am confident that unless I can find some new blood in 2009, these leagues won’t be in existence.
I’ve tried, really I have. Updating players on the trading block. Trash talking. Submitting trade offer after trade offer.
But consider in one league there is a trade offer on the table that was submitted on April 29th….there hasn’t even been a response to it by the owner. Not a rejection, not an approval, not a counter. NOTHING….IT JUST SITS THERE.
Reject it, please! You won’t hurt my feelings. At least I will know that you give a crap.
And how about one time, somebody send me a counter offer to a trade…as stupid as you want it to be. Offer me Luis Salazar for Ryan Braun…SHOW ME YOU CARE, AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT.
In my mixed league there are owners who send out 40 trade offers a week. 39 of them are ridiculous, but at least I know that they are actually enjoying themselves and trying to have others do the same. These are the guys that fantasy was made for.
The owner interaction in the distressed leagues is depressing. Even now, when cbssportsline has created a live chat right on the league site for owners to shoot the bull as games take place, nobody says nothing.
Maybe I’ll be proven wrong and things will change in the coming summer months.
To be honest, I had a gut feeling before the season began that these leagues could be going down this path. But I forged ahead anyway, mainly out of my own selfishness. I wanted to do an auction. I wanted to do an AL only head to head. So I guess I get what I deserved and I shouldn’t complain.
But it won’t happen again. Keep me in mind when you are putting together a fantasy league in the future. Don’t let this happen to you.
Chances are the Kimbo Slice fight was fixed this past Saturday night, I cannot deny. But it was still terrific television.
If you are like me, you grew up watching boxing. Remember when fights were actually on free TV on Saturday afternoons? How about Friday night fights on ESPN? Or even going to a friend’s house who had an illegal converter box and watching Mike Tyson when he was on HBO?
But the fact of the matter is that professional boxing has been ruined. Greed has taken over and fighters have their minds on the rematch before the current fight has even begun. I’m proud to say I have never given a single dime to Don King and I hope you can say the same. I don’t know if it will all ever come to light, but King is a truly horrible person who has ruined many, many lives.
So here comes MMA…mixed martial arts for those of you not in the know. The downfall of boxing has left a void and Elite XC is stepping in. There is still an audience out there who enjoy watching two people beat the pulp out of each other, without having to pay 80 bucks to see it.
CBS has realized this and last Saturday night, they aired a full card of bouts, to much glee in the McPherson household. At least, amongst the males over 30. (in other words, me…though, in people years, the cat is 67)
With characters ranging from the New York Badass to some guy who claims to have found Jesus and now likes to smash opponent’s skulls, the night was a success. Sure, there were some quick stoppages and some eye gouging, but all in all, I think it showed what it has to offer.
A ladies match was actually the best of the night. Gina Carano messed up Kaitlin Young over 2 rounds…but more importantly….Gina Carano is smoking hot!!! Plus, her day job is as American Gladiator Crush!
So she’s gorgeous and she can kick your ass. I know a lot of guys who would pay for that kind of action (Blum).
The biggie, though, was Kimbo Slice versus some British dude names James Thompson, who everyone says is basically a tomato can. Thompson entered the ring with a left ear the size of a small child’s head. It might as well of had a bullseye painted on it.
Drain that sucker!
But nobody was there to see Thompson…it was all about Kimbo.
You might know him from the youtube videos where he would beat the living tar out of guys in backyard brawls all over Florida. Kimbo has become an overnight sensation and EliteXC knows it. They signed him to be a marquee name, but it almost when all wrong on their biggest night.
Slice is a streetfighter, but to be successful in MMA, you need to know more than that. You need to know jujitsu and tae-kwan-do and all this other stuff. Kimbo knows how to hit people real hard in the face.
So when Thompson was laying a beat down on Slice in the second round, fight organizers probably could have used a diaper. Their biggest name was being taught a lesson.
But Thompson’s cauliflower ear would be his achilles heal and in round three, Kimbo popped that sucker. I let out a yelp as blood splattered from the Brit’s ear, but oh was it glorious!
The fight was stopped and Slice had survived. But I’m pretty sure he hadn’t been hit like that in a long time and his time in the XC might end up being short lived. Against a better fighter, Slice would have been meat.
But the important thing to consider is this: when was the last time anybody talked about a boxing card as much as this? It doesn’t happen, not anymore. If you didn’t watch, I suggest you tune in this Saturday night.
A buddy of mine, we’ll just call him Bryan, recently purchased the video game RockBand and it has consumed his entire being.
Suddenly, he has an alter ego. He’s purchased new clothes, some skull caps, and even talks with a British accent. The next time I see him, I expect him to have tattoos over half his body and a heroin addiction.
The funny thing is that of all people, Bryan is the last one I ever thought would get hooked on this game. I’ve known him for 15 years and in that time, he has purchased one CD….School House Rocks. Music has no real place in his life and suddenly, he is the drummer in a fictional rock band that practices in his living room. He’s invited me to his house to be the bass player, but who wants to be the bass player? Nobody likes the bass player.
I mentioned this movie before, but now it is on Comcast OnDemand….under free movies. Night of the Creeps. It won’t cost you a dime and you will thoroughly enjoy it…It stars Rusty from Vacation. Not Anthony Michael Hall, but the kid who played Rusty in Europe….when he made it with the German fraulein.(I’m sure that’s spelled wrong, but you know who I’m talking about)
Did I mention it’s FREE!!! What else are you going to watch now that Lost is done for the summer?
Say what you want about M Night Shama-lama-ding-dong and his movies, but he sure knows how to make an amazing trailer! ‘The Happening’ looks absolutely spooktacular, with people lying down in front of lawnmowers and jumping off of buildings. Totally cringeworthy.
It reminds me of that old TV commercial for ‘Worlds Most Extreme Video’s’ where they show a woman running to cross some tracks with a train coming….then they cut it right before she gets smashed to bits. You know her head erupted like a watermelon at a Gallagher concert, even though you didn’t see it. I viewed this commercial one time when I was 11 and I still have nightmares about it.
Back with a YEA or NAY on Friday….loads to talk about. Fat Joba, injured Papi, Dusty freakin’ Baker, Old John Smoltz and more.
Also, an FYI to those trying to leave comments. Do so without using vulagarities or they won’t get posted. Thanks.
There are lots of horrible things that can happen over the course of a fantasy baseball season. But if apathy comes home to roost, you may as well throw in the towel.
You can live with an owner or two who loses interest…but apathy is contagious and if you don’t nip it in the bud, it might be time to break it down.
Unlike fantasy football where you can fall off the face of the earth for 6 days and then reappear to set your lineup Sunday morn, baseball takes real commitment.
The reason rotisserie was invented in the first place was to give guys another excuse to sit around and talk baseball. If you are in a league where the majority of owners don’t even want to do that, then it’s time to blow it up.
I’ve reached that point in two of my leagues. My NL only and AL only leagues are populated by 10 owners, 9 of which participate in both.
Problem is, I just don’t get the feeling most of these guys even want to be in. That’s not a knock on the owners…if you aren’t into it, then you aren’t into it. But it certainly does suck and I am confident that unless I can find some new blood in 2009, these leagues won’t be in existence.
I’ve tried, really I have. Updating players on the trading block. Trash talking. Submitting trade offer after trade offer.
But consider in one league there is a trade offer on the table that was submitted on April 29th….there hasn’t even been a response to it by the owner. Not a rejection, not an approval, not a counter. NOTHING….IT JUST SITS THERE.
Reject it, please! You won’t hurt my feelings. At least I will know that you give a crap.
And how about one time, somebody send me a counter offer to a trade…as stupid as you want it to be. Offer me Luis Salazar for Ryan Braun…SHOW ME YOU CARE, AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT.
In my mixed league there are owners who send out 40 trade offers a week. 39 of them are ridiculous, but at least I know that they are actually enjoying themselves and trying to have others do the same. These are the guys that fantasy was made for.
The owner interaction in the distressed leagues is depressing. Even now, when cbssportsline has created a live chat right on the league site for owners to shoot the bull as games take place, nobody says nothing.
Maybe I’ll be proven wrong and things will change in the coming summer months.
To be honest, I had a gut feeling before the season began that these leagues could be going down this path. But I forged ahead anyway, mainly out of my own selfishness. I wanted to do an auction. I wanted to do an AL only head to head. So I guess I get what I deserved and I shouldn’t complain.
But it won’t happen again. Keep me in mind when you are putting together a fantasy league in the future. Don’t let this happen to you.
Chances are the Kimbo Slice fight was fixed this past Saturday night, I cannot deny. But it was still terrific television.
If you are like me, you grew up watching boxing. Remember when fights were actually on free TV on Saturday afternoons? How about Friday night fights on ESPN? Or even going to a friend’s house who had an illegal converter box and watching Mike Tyson when he was on HBO?
But the fact of the matter is that professional boxing has been ruined. Greed has taken over and fighters have their minds on the rematch before the current fight has even begun. I’m proud to say I have never given a single dime to Don King and I hope you can say the same. I don’t know if it will all ever come to light, but King is a truly horrible person who has ruined many, many lives.
So here comes MMA…mixed martial arts for those of you not in the know. The downfall of boxing has left a void and Elite XC is stepping in. There is still an audience out there who enjoy watching two people beat the pulp out of each other, without having to pay 80 bucks to see it.
CBS has realized this and last Saturday night, they aired a full card of bouts, to much glee in the McPherson household. At least, amongst the males over 30. (in other words, me…though, in people years, the cat is 67)
With characters ranging from the New York Badass to some guy who claims to have found Jesus and now likes to smash opponent’s skulls, the night was a success. Sure, there were some quick stoppages and some eye gouging, but all in all, I think it showed what it has to offer.
A ladies match was actually the best of the night. Gina Carano messed up Kaitlin Young over 2 rounds…but more importantly….Gina Carano is smoking hot!!! Plus, her day job is as American Gladiator Crush!
So she’s gorgeous and she can kick your ass. I know a lot of guys who would pay for that kind of action (Blum).
The biggie, though, was Kimbo Slice versus some British dude names James Thompson, who everyone says is basically a tomato can. Thompson entered the ring with a left ear the size of a small child’s head. It might as well of had a bullseye painted on it.
Drain that sucker!
But nobody was there to see Thompson…it was all about Kimbo.
You might know him from the youtube videos where he would beat the living tar out of guys in backyard brawls all over Florida. Kimbo has become an overnight sensation and EliteXC knows it. They signed him to be a marquee name, but it almost when all wrong on their biggest night.
Slice is a streetfighter, but to be successful in MMA, you need to know more than that. You need to know jujitsu and tae-kwan-do and all this other stuff. Kimbo knows how to hit people real hard in the face.
So when Thompson was laying a beat down on Slice in the second round, fight organizers probably could have used a diaper. Their biggest name was being taught a lesson.
But Thompson’s cauliflower ear would be his achilles heal and in round three, Kimbo popped that sucker. I let out a yelp as blood splattered from the Brit’s ear, but oh was it glorious!
The fight was stopped and Slice had survived. But I’m pretty sure he hadn’t been hit like that in a long time and his time in the XC might end up being short lived. Against a better fighter, Slice would have been meat.
But the important thing to consider is this: when was the last time anybody talked about a boxing card as much as this? It doesn’t happen, not anymore. If you didn’t watch, I suggest you tune in this Saturday night.
A buddy of mine, we’ll just call him Bryan, recently purchased the video game RockBand and it has consumed his entire being.
Suddenly, he has an alter ego. He’s purchased new clothes, some skull caps, and even talks with a British accent. The next time I see him, I expect him to have tattoos over half his body and a heroin addiction.
The funny thing is that of all people, Bryan is the last one I ever thought would get hooked on this game. I’ve known him for 15 years and in that time, he has purchased one CD….School House Rocks. Music has no real place in his life and suddenly, he is the drummer in a fictional rock band that practices in his living room. He’s invited me to his house to be the bass player, but who wants to be the bass player? Nobody likes the bass player.
I mentioned this movie before, but now it is on Comcast OnDemand….under free movies. Night of the Creeps. It won’t cost you a dime and you will thoroughly enjoy it…It stars Rusty from Vacation. Not Anthony Michael Hall, but the kid who played Rusty in Europe….when he made it with the German fraulein.(I’m sure that’s spelled wrong, but you know who I’m talking about)
Did I mention it’s FREE!!! What else are you going to watch now that Lost is done for the summer?
Say what you want about M Night Shama-lama-ding-dong and his movies, but he sure knows how to make an amazing trailer! ‘The Happening’ looks absolutely spooktacular, with people lying down in front of lawnmowers and jumping off of buildings. Totally cringeworthy.
It reminds me of that old TV commercial for ‘Worlds Most Extreme Video’s’ where they show a woman running to cross some tracks with a train coming….then they cut it right before she gets smashed to bits. You know her head erupted like a watermelon at a Gallagher concert, even though you didn’t see it. I viewed this commercial one time when I was 11 and I still have nightmares about it.
Back with a YEA or NAY on Friday….loads to talk about. Fat Joba, injured Papi, Dusty freakin’ Baker, Old John Smoltz and more.
Also, an FYI to those trying to leave comments. Do so without using vulagarities or they won’t get posted. Thanks.
Monday, June 2, 2008
YEA OR NAY FOR MAY 30TH
Ask anyone who may know me and they will be sure to tell you I know how to toot my own horn. I’ve always been a believer in giving credit when credit is due.
See: George Sherrill, Nate McLouth, Jorge Campillo and Josh Hamilton…actual quote from 3/21 “Hamilton will finish the season as a top 20 player overall.”
But today, I figured I would go the opposite way. There are plenty, well a couple of things I messed up on these first two months of the baseball season. Today, I’ll offer up my mea culpa.
Gary Sheffield-The big one, so I might as well get it out of the way. I wasted a third round draft pick on him in my mixed league, so it’s a wonder I’m still in first place. I took him before the likes of Ian Kinsler, Justin Morneau and Derek Lee. IDIOT!!
Derek Lee-Speak of the devil. I had Mr. Lee ranked 10th in my NL first baseman rankings.
Jon Rauch-“Some guys are just meant to be setup men.” Rauch is 11 for 13 in save opportunities and might not relinquish the role if and when Chad Cordero comes back.
Travis Hafner-“Hafner is going to be a monster this year.” He’s been a monster allright.
Manny Corpas-“I consider him a top 10 closer, if not a top 5.” Yeah, about that….
Ted Lilly-“He is an 11th round steal!” Yeah, I said that.
Lastings Milledge-“Milledge is a talent.” I then proceeded to spend 12 dollars on him in my NL only draft. OOOOFF!
Boof Bonser and Ubaldo Jimenez-Third year breakout pitchers!! Not quite.
Delmon Young-Round 5 of my AL only draft. Before Jim Thome, Alex Gordon, Josh Hamilton, Kevin Youkilis. For my efforts, ZERO HOME RUNS, tied with Victor Martinez (who, I must add, I didn’t touch in any of my leagues…toot toot)
On to the YEA OR NAY!
YEA: To CBS!!! Are you ready for some live, unadulterated EliteXC!!! On network TV! For the whole world to see!!! Kimbo Slice in your living room!! Saturday at 9:00!! Don’t put the kids to bed just yet!! “Johnny, have you ever seen a man get a lacerated spleen?”
NAY: To this guy. Talk about a blow to your ego. Deny it all he wants, this guy has to be embarrassed.
YEA: To the return of Eric Chavez!! All together now: ‘Who cares?’
NAY: To Cristian Guzman. The Guz is on pace for 200 hits and 100 runs scored. SELL SELL SELL SELL!!!!
YEA: To Hank Blalock, who is suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome in his wrist. We all know what he was doing with his free time while on the DL. You go Hank!
NAY: To Chris Young, the pitcher. Young still can’t taste food. He still has no sense of smell. He still has a crack in his skull, so doctors say there is still a chance for a brain infection. Think Albert Pujols hits the ball hard or what?
YEA: To Alexi Casilla. He’s not Lou Gehrig, but Nick Punto easily could be Wally Pipp. Casilla is probably available in your AL only league and he’s doing well.
NAY: To hottie Kristen Bell. Bell, who you might remember from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, says that she has saved her Catholic school uniform for 10 years and plans on whipping it out on her wedding night. I’m really regretting turning down her marriage proposal. Stupid!
YEA: To John Danks and Edinson Volquez. Think the Rangers wouldn’t mind having these two guys in their rotation as opposed to Sidney Ponson and Scott Feldman?
NAY: I wish the Phillies told me I wasn’t allowed to kiss my wife during a game. I would gladly oblige.
YEA: And finally, a really, really grandiose YEA to Harvey Korman, who passed away this week. Korman was one of the funniest men ever. You may remember him as Hedley Lamar in ‘Blazing Saddles’ or from the Carol Burnett show. His rapport with the equally great Tim Conway will never be matched. Do yourself a favor and rent ‘Blazing Saddles’ this weekend.
See: George Sherrill, Nate McLouth, Jorge Campillo and Josh Hamilton…actual quote from 3/21 “Hamilton will finish the season as a top 20 player overall.”
But today, I figured I would go the opposite way. There are plenty, well a couple of things I messed up on these first two months of the baseball season. Today, I’ll offer up my mea culpa.
Gary Sheffield-The big one, so I might as well get it out of the way. I wasted a third round draft pick on him in my mixed league, so it’s a wonder I’m still in first place. I took him before the likes of Ian Kinsler, Justin Morneau and Derek Lee. IDIOT!!
Derek Lee-Speak of the devil. I had Mr. Lee ranked 10th in my NL first baseman rankings.
Jon Rauch-“Some guys are just meant to be setup men.” Rauch is 11 for 13 in save opportunities and might not relinquish the role if and when Chad Cordero comes back.
Travis Hafner-“Hafner is going to be a monster this year.” He’s been a monster allright.
Manny Corpas-“I consider him a top 10 closer, if not a top 5.” Yeah, about that….
Ted Lilly-“He is an 11th round steal!” Yeah, I said that.
Lastings Milledge-“Milledge is a talent.” I then proceeded to spend 12 dollars on him in my NL only draft. OOOOFF!
Boof Bonser and Ubaldo Jimenez-Third year breakout pitchers!! Not quite.
Delmon Young-Round 5 of my AL only draft. Before Jim Thome, Alex Gordon, Josh Hamilton, Kevin Youkilis. For my efforts, ZERO HOME RUNS, tied with Victor Martinez (who, I must add, I didn’t touch in any of my leagues…toot toot)
On to the YEA OR NAY!
YEA: To CBS!!! Are you ready for some live, unadulterated EliteXC!!! On network TV! For the whole world to see!!! Kimbo Slice in your living room!! Saturday at 9:00!! Don’t put the kids to bed just yet!! “Johnny, have you ever seen a man get a lacerated spleen?”
NAY: To this guy. Talk about a blow to your ego. Deny it all he wants, this guy has to be embarrassed.
YEA: To the return of Eric Chavez!! All together now: ‘Who cares?’
NAY: To Cristian Guzman. The Guz is on pace for 200 hits and 100 runs scored. SELL SELL SELL SELL!!!!
YEA: To Hank Blalock, who is suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome in his wrist. We all know what he was doing with his free time while on the DL. You go Hank!
NAY: To Chris Young, the pitcher. Young still can’t taste food. He still has no sense of smell. He still has a crack in his skull, so doctors say there is still a chance for a brain infection. Think Albert Pujols hits the ball hard or what?
YEA: To Alexi Casilla. He’s not Lou Gehrig, but Nick Punto easily could be Wally Pipp. Casilla is probably available in your AL only league and he’s doing well.
NAY: To hottie Kristen Bell. Bell, who you might remember from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, says that she has saved her Catholic school uniform for 10 years and plans on whipping it out on her wedding night. I’m really regretting turning down her marriage proposal. Stupid!
YEA: To John Danks and Edinson Volquez. Think the Rangers wouldn’t mind having these two guys in their rotation as opposed to Sidney Ponson and Scott Feldman?
NAY: I wish the Phillies told me I wasn’t allowed to kiss my wife during a game. I would gladly oblige.
YEA: And finally, a really, really grandiose YEA to Harvey Korman, who passed away this week. Korman was one of the funniest men ever. You may remember him as Hedley Lamar in ‘Blazing Saddles’ or from the Carol Burnett show. His rapport with the equally great Tim Conway will never be matched. Do yourself a favor and rent ‘Blazing Saddles’ this weekend.
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