BACK FROM THE DEAD

When the summer started, I thought to myself ‘The kids will play outside all day and I’ll be able to write something for the blog 3 or 4 times per week.’

I can’t exactly pinpoint where things went wrong, but since my daughter got off that school bus on the last day of school back in June, I’ve had exactly 27 minutes total to myself. Trust me, I’ve been counting.

In these past two months, I’ve seen my 7 year old daughter begin to show signs of what it will be like when she is a teenager and I’m scared out of my wits. If she can act like this now, I should probably just lock myself in the bathroom the day she turns 13.

My 4 year old son has turned from a tyke into a boy, as he has gone from Thomas the Tank Engine and Diego to Star Wars and Indiana Jones. It’s nice watching Empire over the Wonderpets, but today marked the 23rd viewing and Yoda is starting to get on my nerves.

It’s nice to see all the old Star Wars toys coming back into vogue, though. On our last visit to Toys R Us I came across the most recent incarnation of the Millenium Falcon. It’s a lot more fancy than that plastic piece of junk I used to have, but for 160 dollars it had better be. (no, I didn’t buy it…..but I wanted to)

There are about six weeks left in the baseball regular season, so you should definitely know by now if you’ve got a shot to come in the money. If you play head to head, most playoffs begin in a week or two, so get those pitching staffs lined up.

I was going over some stats yesterday and I realized that there are just some ridiculously fluky numbers out there that nobody is mentioning. Just going to show you that nobody can predict nothing.

-Josh Beckett: A top 10 starter coming into the season, Beckett has just 11 wins and an ERA of 4.34. He’s continuing a trend of up in odd number years, down in even numbered. But if he was pitching like he’s capable, the Sox wouldn’t be looking up at the Rays, they’d be looking down.

-BJ Upton and Alex Rios-Last year, these two combined to hit 48 homers. This year, they’ve only got 17 between them. Both were concensus first round picks in AL only and both are stealing bases like crazy. But the bombs just around there like they were expected.

-Justin Verlander-So much for all those predictions of this guy making ‘the leap’. He’s been a nightmare, with an ERA over 4.60 and even a drop in strikeouts. And things don’t seem to be improving, having given up 25 earned runs over his last 5 starts.

-The Twins-I have to put this whole team in this category, because with the trade of Johan Santana, the Twinks were supposed to be rebuilding. Instead, they’ve got a better record than both the Yankees and the Mets, the two teams that led the charge in the Johan sweepstakes. The Mets can’t be disappointed in what their end, because Johan has been as advertised, especially recently. But the fact that the Twins continue to win with their minimal payroll is an amazing testament to their organization. Throw in the fact that they were able to withstand the toilet arm that is Livan Hernandez for 4 months and their current spot atop the AL Central is all the more amazing.

-Jason Kendall-I know the guy stinks at the plate (1 home run in 393 at-bats), but Kendall is an iron man in a league proliferated with candyasses (Milton Bradley, I’m calling you out). Kendall has caught 113 of the Brewers 125 games. Since July, Kendall has missed just two games. He’s a guy who wants to compete and win and a guy everybody should want on their team.

-Brian Giles-And onto the polar opposite of Kendall. Since the league cracked down on steroids and other goodies, Giles has evaporated, in both stats and stature. San Diego tried to move Giles after the waiver deadline and had a deal in place with Boston, but Giles refused to go. Thank god for that, because the last thing the Sox needed was a 37 year old lead footed lefty with no power left to speak of. Plus, it speaks volumes when a guy refuses to move to a squad for two months, when he’s got a chance of getting a World Series ring. I still remember when Rafael Palmeiro refused to leave Texas for the Cubs a few years back. I know you guys love your families and all, but it’s TWO MONTHS! The drive to win is just not with these guys and they deserve to play in places like San Diego and Arlington.

-Melky Cabrera-I’ve been saying for two years now that Cabrera is a waste of space and my Yankee friends have been calling me a bitter Sox fan. Now, Cabrera is in the minors and I am proven right once again. So, you want Johan for Melky Cabrera and Ian Kennedy? When Twins GM Bill Smith hung up the phone after that conversation, how hard do you think he laughed?

-Randy Johnson-I admit, I gave up on the Unit in my mixed league back in June after he gave up 14 earned runs in a week. But it turns out my original hunch was correct. When he’s healthy, like he is now, he’s a top pitcher in the game. Still, at the age of 44. Since the All-Star break, Johnson is 4-2 with an ERA of 1.56 and a WHIP under 1.00. He doesn’t strike out 10 guys a game like he used to, but you can’t complain about the other numbers.

-Ian Stewart-The last time we spoke I mentioned Stewart, who had just been handed the starting third base job. Hopefully you listened, because Stewart is already up to 8-32-.285, in just 147 at bats. Throw in that second base eligibility and you’ve got yourself a strong middle infielder, even in mixed leagues.

-Jensen Lewis-It’s no fun being an Indians fan this year, but they are still worth paying attention to. The closer situation seems like it might have finally found a solution, with hardthrowing Jensen Lewis, who has gotten the last three saves for the Tribe. After a massive rough patch in July, Lewis has gone 8 straight outings without giving up a run and seems to have earned the confidence of manager Eric Wedge. Saves are saves, even in Ohio.

-Trevor Hoffman-And since we are on the topic of saves, the all time saves leader is showing he still has what it takes. Hoffman stunk in the early going, helping to bury the Padres in the NL West. But after having an ERA above 6 back in May, the Hoff is down close to 4 now and the saves are now up to 26. Hoff has more saves than K-Rod in August.

-Wily Tavares-Did you know Wily leads the majors in steals with 58? Me neither. And it’s not even close.

-Jacoby Ellsbury-And on the topic of steals, remember when Ellsbury had 34 steals back in June and he looked like the Native American version of Vince Coleman? I do, because I played against Ellsbury the week he stole 9 bases. Anyway, over the past two months, Ellsbury has stolen a grand total of 4 bags. So much for that.

-Carlos Quentin-He leads the majors in home runs. I’m not kidding. Not bad for a guy who went undrafted in most leagues. If you took a flier on him, chances are you are going to win some money.

-Dan Uggla-He had 23 home runs heading into the break. He’s had just 3 since, including ZERO in all of August. And it’s not just homers that are vanishing. Uggla has driven in just 3 runs this month (all on 8/10) and scored just 6 runs.

-Carlos Silva and Miguel Batista-Looking back, the Erik Bedard trade was bad. The signing of Richie Sexson was terrible. The mega contract given to singles hitter Ichiro was bordering on asinine. But the signing of Carlos Silva might have been the worst move ever made by the old regime in Seattle. 4 years/48 million dollars. For a guy who’s season high for strikeouts was 89 in 202 IP. For a guy who in four years as a starter was 2 games over .500 and had an ERA of 4.42. For a guy who has given up an average of 235 hits per year over the past four years! Year one of that golden parachute has produced a 4-14 record, 6.36 ERA, 1.55 WHIP, 59 K’s and 191 hits allowed in just 140 IP. That’s 3 million dollars for each win this season and $203,000 for each guy he struck out.

And let’s not forget about Miguel Batista, who, paired with Silva, could possibly form the worst pair of starters in HISTORY. Batista has somehow been actually worse than Silva. Both have 4 wins and Silva leads in the loss category 14 to 12. But Batista outdoes his mate in ERA and WHIP, with a 6.63 and a 1.92!!! Amazingly, it has taken Batista less than 100 IP to put up these gaudy numbers. Now you know exactly why the M’s sent Brandon Morrow back to the minors to learn how to be a starter.

-Roy Hallday-I admit, I was among the ones who thought Halladay might be on his way out of the elite pitching ranks. After seeing his ERA and WHIP rise significantly the last two years, I thought Doc’s best days might have been behind him. But he’s back this year with a vengeance and he’s a Cliff Lee relapse away from being the Cy Young favorite. 2.64 ERA, 1.04 WHIP, 14 wins and 8 complete games. Even the K’s are back up, on pace to crack 200 for just the second time in his career. For those of us who took Bedard and Verlander ahead of Roy are pretty bummed out.

-Jimmy Rollins-We knew it would be impossible to duplicate 2007, but this is getting so out of hand. Even factoring in the lost three weeks due to a sprained ankle, the numbers are worrisome. 30 home runs down to 8. .296 average down to .266. 94 RBI down to 42. And the most amazing: 139 runs down to 56! The steals are still there, 41 down to 31, but it’s the runs scored which made me do a double take. Reyes and Ramirez are holding up their ends of the bargain, but J-Roll seems like he just can’t keep up with the young guys.

-Matt Cain-Hasn’t given up a home run since June 4th. That’s 13 starts. If the Giants could get a lick of hitting and not thrown money down the toilet on guys like Aaron Rowand, they could ride Cain and Tim Lincecum to the top of the NL West. Either way, these two guys are both very young and very phenomenal.

-Randy Winn-Mr. Irrelevant, because nobody ever seems to want him on their squad. But over his last 21 games, Winn is hitting .434, with 13 RBI, 15 runs and 3 SB.

I’ve got to go. Luke just got his hand cut off by Vader. Maybe I can convince him to watch Jedi for a change. Check back later this week for some free fantasy football rankings.