ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO

I fool myself every year heading into fantasy football drafts. While baseball drafts can be fairly predictable, football drafts always go screwy.

Read all the publications you want. Follow all the mock drafts you want. Compile a list based on ADP (Average Draft Position). No matter what, things will end up going haywire.

I took part in my first money draft this past weekend. As the reigning champ, I had bragging rights over everyone in the room, though based on the outcome of the draft, I don’t expect to make it two in a row.

Like almost all other nowadays, this was a keeper league, with owners allowed to protect two players from their previous year’s lineup. We are also allowed to trade future draft picks. That being the case, I didn’t have a first round pick this year, since I traded it late last season for Brian Westbrook.

The results and my spin on things: (each team’s keepers are listed in parentheses)

Round 1

1-Ziliani-(Marshawn Lynch, Jason Witten)-LaDanian Tomlinson
2-Olivo-(Fred Taylor, Tony Gonzalez)-Brian Westbrook
3-Gray-(David Garrard, Stephen Gostkowski?!?)-Tom Brady
4-Layton-(Ben Roethlisberger, Ryan Grant)-Joseph Addai
5-Gartner-(Adrian Peterson, Braylon Edwards)-Tony Romo
6-Blum-(Michael Turner, Wes Welker)-Clinton Portis
7-Swartz-(Phillip Rivers, Shaun McDonald)-Steven Jackson
8-Babrisky-(Eli Manning, Jamal Lewis)-Randy Moss
9-Gartner-Maurice Jones Drew
10-Blum-Terrell Owens

As you can see, right out of the shoot, craziness ensued. Gray kept hollering that he didn’t want to take Addai at 3, but nobody believed him. He shocked the world and took Brady, making his keeper Garrard completely useless. I can’t even comment on the fact that he protected a kicker….it would be too easy.

Romo at 5 was another shock, considering a pairing of S-Jax and Peterson (the good one) would have been amazing. Also, Romo could have been had with his second first round pick at number 9, considering teams 7 and 8 already had quarterbacks protected. You need to look at these things Tom!

Portis going before Jackson was another surprise. I was afraid I would be stuck taking Portis with my first pick at 12…luckily, that didn’t come to be. Did I mention I hate Clinton Portis?

And then there is MJD. The touchdowns are nice, but taking a timeshare RB with the 9th overall pick…I just can’t give it my stamp of approval.

Round 2

11-Ziliani-Reggie Wayne
12-Me-(Matt Hasselback, Jeremy Shockey)-Marion Barber
13-Babrisky-Frank Gore
14-Swartz-Peyton Manning
15-Gartner-Larry Fitzgerald
16-Blum-Drew Brees
17-Layton-Marques Colston
18-Gray-Willis McGahee
19-Olivo-Andre Johnson
20-Ziliani-Chad Johnson

I’ll start with my pick….I couldn’t believe my eyes when I found I had a choice of Marion Barber or Frank Gore with the 12th overall pick!!! I end up choosing Barber only because the Dallas offense is SO much better than the Niners. The Boys are going to run Barber into the ground this year…and no, I’m not worried about Felix Jones. Barber is THE MAN and should have gone in the first round.

I worry about Fitzgerald, only because Matt Leinart stinks. When word broke that Kurt Warner was going to be the starter, I thought it was a good pick. Then word came that he’s not starting and that being the case, I would have taken Andre Johnson ahead of Fitz.

Bad news out of Cincy, as Ocho has a worse injury than originally thought. The Ziliani curse rears its ugly head. If you haven’t drafted yet, you might want to stay away from Tomlinson and Reggie Wayne as well. And anybody else listed under Ziliani throughout the rest of this draft. They are doomed.

Round 3

21-Ziliani-Carson Palmer
22-Olivo-TJ Houshmanzadeh
23-Gray-Willie Parker (oy)
24-Layton-Santonio Holmes
25-Blum-Anquan Boldin
26-Gartner-Larry Johnson
27-Blum-Thomas Jones
28-Gray-Plaxico Burress
29-Me-Brandon Jacobs
30-Worek-(Earnest Graham, Roddy White)-Laurence Maroney

Let’s start with Willie Parker….I think he’s a good guy to take a chance on. But with the 23rd overall pick, you shouldn’t be taking chances, you should be taking sure things.

Holmes is shooting up draft boards and so is Thomas Jones. Holmes I’m cool with, but Jones is a 30 year old RB who scored 2 total touchdowns last year. I know the Jets are better, but WOW. Even money says Leon Washington outperforms Jones this season.

Burress scares me because I could see the Super Bowl hangover really effecting him this season.

I’ve always been a sucker for Brandon Jacobs, mainly because he runs people over instead of running around them and I dig that. Him and I have close to the same dimensions, but I don’t fumble as much. Looking back, I should have gone WR, but I panicked. Still, a RB combo of Jacobs and Barber is alright with me.

Round 4

31-Worek-Torry Holt
32-Olivo-Marvin Harrison
33-Babrisky-Steve Smith
34-Swartz-Selvin Young
35-Gartner-Calvin Johnson
36-Blum-Roy Williams
37-Layton-Lavarneus Coles
38-Gray-Darren McFadden
39-Olivo-Donovan McNabb
40-Ziliani-Edgerrin James

The pizza has arrived and it’s the greasiest stuff I’ve ever seen. Does that stop me from scarfing down 4 slices?

I’d like to call this the round of guys I wouldn’t want anyway. It’s always nice when guys go off the board that you had no intention of going near. 8 of the ten in this round fall into that category.

Holt, Harrison and Smith were top 5 receivers last year and now here they are. Hanging with the Lavarneus Coles’ of the world. Depressing.

If you draft a Denver RB, you are a masochist. Seriously, is there ever a week where you are going to start Selvin Young and feel happy about it?

McFadden and McNabb are the two picks I liked….in fact, I was hoping McNabb would last until my next pick, but no such luck.

Justin Fargas signed a fat extension with the Raiders this offseason and then Al Davis goes and drafts McFadden. Any NFL team looking for a RB will be able to have Fargas in ’09, because he won’t be needed in Oaktown. McFadden is for real. But he still will be sharing categories at the outset, which stinks. Plus, I’ve heard he isn’t as good as people thought anyway. Shhhh.

Round 5

41-Ziliani-Jerricho Cotchery
42-Olivo-Derek Anderson
43-Gray-Anthony Gonzalez
44-Layton-Kevin Smith
45-Blum-Brandon Marshall
46-Blum-Antonio Gates
47-Swartz-Kellen Winslow
48-Babrisky-Matt Forte
49-Me-Greg Jennings
50-Worek-Jonathan Stewart

While round 4 was old guys, round 5 went young.

Ziliani is buying way too much into the Favre hype and reached for Cotchery.

Olivo drafted McNabb at 39 and then turns to Derek Anderson 3 picks later. Confusing.

Gates will finish the season closer to being the 10th best tight end than the 1st. You know what they say about the big toe.

Anthony Gonzalez shouldn’t have even sniffed the 5th round, but when Randy wants somebody, he goes after him. Too many number one receivers still out there to be taking a number 3.

Marshall might end up being the top receiver in the league this year. He’ll triple Gonzalez’s numbers, despite the suspension, which has been reduced to just one game.

I was desparate for a WR and Jennings was the best available. I know his success came with Favre…but he’s a third year receiver who’s improved each of his first two seasons. I can’t see him matching 12 TD’s, but I think he’ll see a bump in yardage.

I’d rather have Kevin Jones than Matt Forte.

Round 6

51-Worek-Jay Cutler
52-Me-Hines Ward
53-Babrisky-Reggie Bush
54-Swartz-Lee Evans
55-Gartner-Dwayne Bowe
56-Blum-Chris Cooley
57-Layton-Dallas Clark
58-Gray-Santana Moss
59-Olivo-Rudi Johnson
60-Ziliani-Nate Burleson

I’m disgusted with myself for taking Hines Ward. Let me just say that off the bat. But Pittsburgh is going to throw a lot….and Ward had 71 catches last year despite missing 3 and a half games. (I’m trying to convince myself it was a good pick)

Then comes Evans and Bowe. At least Hines has a real QB throwing him the ball.

The guy I should have taken was Santana Moss, who is going to be playing in a perfect scheme for his skill set.

The last two picks of the round don’t even warrant a comment.

Round 7

61-Ziliani-Brett Favre
62-Olivo-Chris Chambers
63-Gray-Joey Galloway
64-Layton-Bernard Berrian
65-Blum-Vikings D/ST
66-Gartner-Cowboys D/ST
67-Swartz-Reggie Brown
68-Babrisky-Ted Ginn
69-Me-Patrick Crayton
70-Worek-Lendale White

It was about the time of the Nate Burleson pick last round that I had to pay the piper for those four slices of pizza and five cups of coke. Needless to say, the bathroom at the Hamilton PBA Hall will never be the same again.

Here’s the funny thing. On the clock was Ziliani, in his newly minted, ‘hey look at me, I’m a frontrunner’, Brett Favre NY Jets jersey. It still smelled like Walmart. When I went into the men’s room, he was on the clock. When I came out, 10 minutes later, he was finally making his choice……Favre!!

If it takes you ten minutes to decide whether or not to draft the guy whose jersey you are wearing, something is amiss.

Round 7 should be called the round of average receivers. Chambers, Galloway, Berrian, Brown….they are all guys who end up starting for you, but you aren’t happy about it.

Maybe I was brainwashed by Hard Knocks, but I think Crayton makes the leap this year. His final numbers will be a lot closer to TO’s than people expect. You’ve been warned!

I liked Lendale White better when he was on ‘The Wire.’

Round 8

71-Worek-Heath Miller
72-Me-Ronnie Brown
73-Babrisky-Vernon Davis
74-Swartz-Reggie Williams
75-Gartner-DeAngelo Williams
76-Blum-Aaron Rodgers
77-Layton-Chris Johnson
78-Gray-Tony Scheffler
79-Olivo-Ahmad Bradshaw
80-Ziliani-Derrick Mason

I’ve got to be happy swiping Ronnie Brown in the 8th round, right?

This is about the time for you to be taking some chances and some owners did. Chris Johnson looks good in Tennessee.

Olivo is a Giants fan and he scared me when he took Bradshaw this early. Considering I have Jacobs, I’m hoping Bradshaw is an afterthought. Does the G-Men fan know something I don’t or is he just sickened by the fact that he owns both McNabb and Westbrook? Let’s hope he just felt the need to get some Big Blue blood on his squad.

I would also like to start a drive to ban Derrick Mason from all future fantasy football drafts….I hate him that much. At least he’s on the team of a guy in my division.

Round 9

81-Ziliani-Rashard Mendenhall
82-Olivo-Donte Stallworth
83-Gray-Jake Delhomme
84-Layton-Jason Campbell
85-Blum-Matt Leinart
86-Gartner-Matt Schaub
87-Swartz-Dominic Rhodes
88-Babrisky-Donald Driver
89-Me-Marc Bulger
90-Worek-Vincent Jackson

It’s the attack of the mediocre to below average quarterbacks!!

Gray was actually giddy when Delhomme ‘fell’ to him. Seriously….Jake has had reconstructive elbow surgery and he’s throwing to Muhshin Muhammed. Steve Smith is overrated.

Donald Driver was ‘that’ guy. All the rankings had him going much higher, but he just kept on falling. Like that last guy in the green room at the NFL draft. I started to feel sad for him.

Vincent Jackson….breakout candidate or perennial tease? You decide.

Round 10

91-Worek-Seahawks
92-Me-Kurt Warner
93-Babrisky-Chris Perry
94-Swartz-Jerry Porter
95-Gartner-Owen Daniels
96-Blum-Jaquars
97-Layton-Packers
98-Gray-Kevin Curtis
99-Olivo-Chargers
100-Ziliani-Patriots

News broke seconds before my selection that Warner would be the starter in Arizona. Sometimes, the internet is a bad thing.

Chris Perry is a tremendous pick in round 10, since he’ll be starting as long as he is healthy and Cincy always seems to supply it’s RB’s with scoring opportunities.

I heard Worek say the Seahawks, but I didn’t really believe it….until he put the sticker on the board. If you are missing picks in rounds 1 and 2, you can’t be taking a mediocre defense in round 10.

Pick 100 and I finally like a selection from Ziliani. The Pats schedule is cake and their defense gives you a ton of big plays. I’d definitely take them over GB, Seattle and the Cowboys.

Round 11

101-Ziliani-Jon Kitna
102-Olivo-Jeff Garcia
103-Gray-Deuce McAllister
104-Layton-Ben Utecht
105-Blum-Rob Bironas
106-Gartner-Jamarcus Russell
107-Swartz-Leon Washington
108-Babrisky-Justin Gage
109-Me-DJ Hackett
110-Worek-Nick Folk

Look at this motley crew of draft picks. Tell me one guy out of this 10 that you would come away saying you were excited to have on your team.

For some reason the Justin Gage selection resounded in a chorus of ‘ooh, nice pick.’ And they sounded serious.

With his 9th selection Worek takes a kicker to go along with his lousy D/ST.

DJ Hackett has had the label of breakout guy since I was in grade school. Maybe this year. Yeah, maybe this year.

Jamarcus Russell can throw a football 50 yards from his knees. He can also eat 50 yards worth of Italian hoagie in 10 minutes flat.

Round 12

111-Worek-Robert Meacham
112-Me-Bears
113-Babrisky-Kyle Orton
114-Swartz-Randy McMichael
115-Gartner-Adam Vinatieri
116-Gartner-LJ Smith
117-Layton-James Hardy
118-Gray-Donald Lee
119-Olivo-Todd Heap
120-Ziliani-Zach Miller

Hate to pick on Worek, but his last three picks have been Seattle, Nick Folk and Robert Meacham.

Remember the last two year, when people were selecting the Bears D/ST in like the 4th round? Now, suddenly, they are the 8th best? Last time I checked, Devin Hester was still on the team. As was Brian Urlacher.

Now James Hardy….that’s the kind of pick I like to see. Not some old retread who really has no chance of doing anything out of the ordinary (see DJ Hackett), but a young guy who might go for 1000 yards. He might also go for 250 yards on 12 catches. But I like the forward thinking. Nick pick Layton.

That’s a whole lot of lousy TE going in round 12. Sandwiched around the worst beard in the NFL, Kyle Orton. Moving on.

Round 13

121-Ziliani-Nate Kaeding
122-Olivo-Mason Crosby
123-Gray-Colts
124-Layton-Robbie Gould
125-Blum-Shayne Graham
126-Gartner-Eagles
127-Swartz-Ravens
128-Babrisky-Vince Young
129-Me-Antonio Bryant
130-Worek-Devin Hester

Back to back QB picks by Babrisky. Kyle Orton followed by Vince Young. Anybody with a QB to spare, I’ve got Babrisky’s number for you.

Kicker run!!!! Never a good time.

I love me some Antonio Bryant. Think Reggie Wayne, with not as good hands, a gay quarterback, and a big mouth. Which kind of makes them a match made in heaven. Seriously, Bryant can have a big year.

Round 14

131-Worek-Trent Edwards
132-Me-Josh Brown
133-Babrisky-Neil Rackers
134-Swartz-Ryan Longwell
135-Gartner-Sidney Rice
136-Layton-Chad Pennington
137-Gray-David Akers
138-Olivo-Giants
139-Ziliani-Josh Scobee

Before you persecute me, I took a kicker before my last RB because I was the only team left who needed an RB, thus I knew I had my choice later on.

Remember how many points Jeff Wilkins used to put up? Well, Josh Brown is a lot better than him and that was while kicking in Sasquatch Territory.

The Sidney Rice pick drew some ooh’s, but I’ve got better hands than him.

David Akers was 1-10 on FG’s over 40 yards last year. I love the guy, but he’s cooked. Shouldn’t even be drafted.

Round 15

140-Ziliani-Bills
141-Olivo-Kris Brown
142-Gray-Buccaneers
143-Layton-Steelers
144-Gartner-Mike Nugent
145-Swartz-Jim Sorgi
146-Babrisky-Kevin Boss
147-Me-Alge Crumpler
148-Worek-Troy Smith

Get your QB’s early or else you’ll be stuck with the Troy Smith’s and Kyle Orton’s of the world. Just a warning.

Alge Crumpler, if he can stay on the field, will have a top 10 year. The system in Nashville floods the tight end with balls and Alge can catch. He just can’t run that much anymore.

Round 16

149-Worek-Greg Olsen
150-Me-Raiders
151-Babrisky-Texans
152-Swartz-Jason Hanson
153-Layton-Phil Dawson


Round 17
154-Layton-Phil Dawson
155-Swartz-Titans
156-Babrisky-Cardinals
157-Me-Brandon Coutu
158-Worek-Jeff Reed

Round 18
159-Worek-Panthers
160-Me-Felix Jones
161-Babrisky-Matt Stover

Very few players of consequence these last three rounds. I saved Felix Jones for last, even though there were a lot of RB’s still around. Call it my MB3 insurance.

Also, if looking for a sleeper defense, check out the Raiders. They were pretty good already last year and then they added Gibril Wilson and DeAngelo Hall this offseason. You could do a lot worse as many of these draftees have pointed out.

In the end, my roster looks like this:

QB1-Matt Hasselback
QB2-Marc Bulger
QB3-Kurt Warner

RB1-Marion Barber III
RB2-Brandon Jacobs
RB3-Ronnie Brown
RB4-Felix Jones

WR1-Greg Jennings
WR2-Hines Ward
WR3-Patrick Crayton
WR4-DJ Hackett
WR5-Antonio Bryant

TE1-Jeremy Shockey
TE2-Alge Crumpler

K1-Josh Brown
K2-Brandon Coutou

D1-Bears
D2-Raiders

Yeah, it stinks, I know. But who won it all last year? That’s what I thought.