I don’t want to come across as a braggadocio, but I consider myself above average when it comes to baseball knowledge. If someone has a question about a player or a statistic, they will often call me first.
Now, no matter what kind of league you are in, be it baseball, football, hockey or Nascar (egads), there has to be a token idiot. If you are lucky, you might have multiple ones, thus increasing your chances of winning.
But is it better to have a guy who is a nincompoop or a guy who actually knows what he is doing?
Option A is to say ‘yes, I want as many dopes as possible in my league.’
But Option B, from a competitive standpoint, would be to have bragging rights over a league that was completely made up of aces.
In reality, if you are an everyday ‘joe’ like me, it’s almost impossible to be in a league that is idiot free. It’s hard enough piecing together a league as is. When you are a commissioner, you can’t be picky about who you let in.
You need 10 or 12 guys who you can depend on to show up at the draft. If they are dumber than Mario Manningham, god bless’em. Cross your fingers that their entrance fee clears and then set them loose on the rest of the league.
By the way, what are the chances that Mario drives to Shea Stadium for the Giants first game this fall? I guarantee you he has no idea that the Giants play in New Jersey.
If you are in a league and have yet been able to identify the idiot, here are 10 ways to flush him out.
1. If he mispronounces more than half of his picks on draft day and one of those picks was Randy Winn.
2. If he calls a player unproven because they’ve only hit 50 home runs once.
3. If he makes add/drops once a month and one of the guys he picks up is deceased.
4. If he wears a Yankees jersey or a batting helmet to your draft.
5. If he tries to draft Rick Ankiel as a pitcher.
6. If his fantasy rotation has 4 starters from the Rangers.
7. If his initials are RG.
8. If, at an auction, somebody brings up Johan Santana and he says ‘what position?’
9. If he giggles everytime somebody says Boof Bonser.
10. If he is ahead by 40 in saves and he still won’t trade a closer.
I’m not writing this to create enemies in any of my leagues. If you’ve been in a league with me, you know that I love everybody. You won’t find an owner easier to get along with.
And when it comes down to it, I think I would go with Option A. Who are we to say the dimwitted and the slow should not be allowed to participate in fantasy baseball? Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to suffer through an entire season with Tony Pena Jr. as your shortstop. They’ll learn. The hard way.
And if they don’t…if they come back next year and draft Tony Pena Jr. one more time? Have pity on them. Don’t laugh. Don’t chortle. Say ‘nice pick’ and say it with sincerity. Who cares if its round 4. Tony is a likable guy with solid glovework.
Then when you get home, you can make fun of him.
WEEK 5 JUNK!!
Let me start off by saying that I couldn’t trade for Brandon Phillips, no matter how hard I tried. If you remember, last Monday, I challenged you to go out and make a deal to get the 30-30 second baseman.
I knew he’d be coming around sooner or later and unfortunately, it was sooner. Phillips started hitting as soon as I wrote that article and his owners clamped down. Since I wrote that piece, Phillips has gone 9 for 28 with 4 homers, 8 RBI and a steal. ARRGHH!
This week, I’ve got a new target for you. A guy I just dealt for tonight. Ryan Braun. I was one of the ones who thought it was crazy to see Braun being drafted in the first round of mixed leagues this year. Now, if you want to show me someone who is unproven, it is him. With less than a full season of at-bats on his resume, some of the projections were completely unrealistic.
That being the case, those who did draft Braun are now majorly disenchanted and are ripe for the picking.
I picked up Braun tonight for Jeff Francoeur and Mark DeRosa. 35 and 25 are definitely possible for Braun and right now, he stands at 3 and 1. If he even remotely approaches those projections, that will be a sweet 5 months.
If you were able to get Phillips or are this week able to get Braun, leave a comment and let me know what you were able to get them for.
-I might be changing my mind when it comes to Roger Clemens and HGH. Maybe it wasn’t the drugs that rejuvenated his career, but the 15 year old on the side. Keep it classy Rajah!!!
-Is it just me or does that fact that Emil Brown has 25 RBI on April 29th kind of make you sick.
-If you are going to run, do it against San Diego. Padre catchers have thrown out 6 baserunners, in 30 attempts. That’s good news for Ryan Howard and Carlos Ruiz this week.
-If you are thinking about trading for Brandon Webb, make sure you don’t overpay. Webb has won 6 games already and in reality, what is the most he could win this year? If he won 22 it would be amazing. So that gives you 16 more wins over the next 5 months, max. I’m not saying he isn’t terrific, but just put those wins in perspective. When you deal for him, those 6 wins he already has doesn’t come with him.
-I told you Eric Gagne would be fine. Hope you didn’t abandon ship. He’ll have the rough outing once in a while, but he’ll still give you saves and Milwaukee is good.
-If you’ve still got Jack Cust in ANY league, I have to say ‘why?’ Cust hasn’t homered since the third game of the season and is striking out 42 percent of the time. There’s a reason he didn’t get his first big break until he was 28 years old.
-I realize it’s Armando Galarraga we are talking about, but can the Tigers afford to ship this guy out when Donrelle Willis comes back? All Galarraga has done is win, giving up just one homer in three starts, compiling a 1.50 ERA and a 0.72 WHIP. Willis will come back in the rotation, but Kenny Rogers or Nate Robertson might have to be the sacrificial lambs.
-Is there anything worse than having two starting pitchers going in the same game and then turning on ESPN and seeing the score is 8-7 in the 3rd inning?
-Angels prospect Brandon Wood seems like he has been around forever, but is still only 23. LA promoted Wood this week, but word is he’ll be sent back down when Howie ‘boo-boo’ Kendrick is activated off the dl this week. If you’ve got room, stash Wood on your bench. Kendrick will be hurt again soon enough.
-Daniel Cabrera-7 walks on Monday. If you bought in, I hope you are proud of yourself.
-The Yankees panicked and rushed A-Rod back from his pulled quad. Guess who’s going to miss more games this week?
-While Jorge Posada is visiting Dr. James Andrews about his injured shoulder, maybe he can ask the Doc to do something about those ridiculous ears.
-Nobody knows how to jump ship like Pat Riley. Miami can’t complain because they won a title, but good god did he leave them in dire straits.
-How amazingly easy is it to hate everything about the Montreal Candadiens? From their coaches (Guy Carbonneau and Kirk Muller), to their players (all very Russian or very French) to their fans (I know your city sucks, but save the celebrating for when it warrants it).
-Vicente Padilla threw a complete game shutout this weekend. Vicente Padilla.
-Cherry Hill’s own Adam Jasinski was crowned winner of Big Brother 9 on Sunday night. I admit that I look forward to that show more than any other. The reason? To see the reprehensible human beings they put together in a house, thus making the things I do seem not all that bad. Thanks for the ego boost, you horrible, horrible people (Sheila, Jen and Josh).
-Finally got ‘There Will Be Blood’ from Netflix. Between that, ‘I Am Legend’ and ‘No Country For Old Men’, I am drama’d out. Next up…’Boobs A Poppin’!
-Know what I’m looking forward to just as much as the Eagles next season? Rooting every single week against the Carolina Panthers. Come on 1-15!!
-I was off by one game regarding the Pistons. Listen, I’m rooting as hard as anyone, but deep down you’ve got to realize the Sixers just aren’t in the same league as this team. Also, I’m going to go out and buy a Reggie Evans jersey, so you guys better not go and trade him!
-Would there be anything more joyous then the Celtics getting knocked out by the Hawks? I really can’t believe it will happen, but WOW! Cross your fingers.
-Heading into his start Monday night, Jon Garland had 4 strikeouts in 29 innings pitched. It’s a contract year Jon, WAKE UP! (can you tell I have him in one of my leagues?)
-Before you give up on Carlos Delgado, remember he is always a slow starter. ALWAYS!
-If you’ve got Brett Myers, I would be concerned. His velocity is down and that could mean only one thing. You might want to consider dealing him before someone realizes there is a problem. Phillies fans are pretty gullible.
I’ll talk to you all Friday when the Flyers will be up 3-1 and the Sixers will be eliminated.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
YEA OR NAY FOR APRIL 25TH
So the other night, I’m sitting and watching the masterpiece that is ‘Robocop’ when a number of pertinent questions pop into my head.
Why is the dad from ‘That 70’s Show’ cast as the lead bad guy/cop killer? Funny thing is, he’s scarier on the TV show than he is as a drug dealing sociopath.
How can only one police officer in the entire department realize that Robocop is their former partner Officer Murphy? Even I can tell and I never worked with the guy.
How can the evil company OCP build a billion dollar robot that is supposed to catch criminals, but neglect to design it so it can walk down stairs? Seriously, I could get away from that thing and I’m slower than Steve Balboni.
If I drove my truck into a vat of toxic waste, would I turn into a mutant zombie like happened to the one bad guy? I’m oddly tempted to try it and find out.
Can you believe that they actually made 2 sequels to the original and the third installment had more famous people in it than the first two? Rip Torn, Jeff Garlin, Bradley Whitford and Jill Hennessy. Shame on you all. You should all have your SAG cards pulled.
Loads of fantasy stuff to get to. I just had to get that off my chest.
YEA: Holy cow, what the heck happened to Cliff Lee. I’m sure you know he has gotten off to a hot start, but you might not realize just how hot. Check out these numbers: 4 starts, 4 wins, 31 2/3 IP, 11 hits, 2 walks, 1 earned run, 29 strikeouts. His ERA stands at 0.28, his WHIP 0.41. Words cannot describe how amazing he has been.
NAY: To Ryan Howard. Tim Kurkjian came out with an amazing stat the other day. Ryan Howard is on pace to strike out more times in April than Joe DiMaggio ever did over an entire season. Joe D’s high was 39 strikeouts in one year. Ryan Howard has struck out 32 times already this month, with 5 games to go.
YEA: To Manny Acosta. Acosta has been lights out since being anointed Braves closer. The move, of course, was by default due to Rafael Soriano’s injury. But if he keeps this up, maybe he’ll keep the job. Soriano has never been a full time closer and he might be better suited to be the setup guy. Plus, his injury history is a long one.
NAY: To Alex Gordon’s neck. Have you seen his snapshot? His neck is wider than his head. If you don’t believe me, take a look for yourself.
YEA: To CC Sabathia. Congrats on getting your first win of the year! All it took was an outing against the Royals and your lineup scoring 15 runs, but a win is a win. Amazing how some guys flourish when facing free agency while others flounder. Sabathia stands to make tens of millions of dollars this offseason. But after the Barry Zito debacle, teams are going to make sure they’ve got a sure thing before they throw that kind of money at a pitcher. Each poor start by CC cuts into his potential earnings.
NAY: To Kenny Rogers. If you’re team scores 19 runs for you, you’ve got to get the win. If you’ve still got Rogers on your fantasy squad, you are kidding yourself. He’s cooked.
YEA: To leagues with single game eligibility. If you are in such a league and own Albert Pujols, you are very happy this week. Albert played an inning at second base the other night and I know I could sure live with a second sacker who will hit .330-40-120.
NAY: To Delmon Young. Is it just me or does this guy just seem to do a whole lot of nothing?
YEA: To Pac-Man Jones. It’s a great week to be a Cowboys hater. Am I the only one who sees an eerie resemblance between Pac-Man and Jerry Jones? Crazy eyes, a penchant for strip clubs, both absolutely reprehensible human beings, same last name. Can you say ‘lovechild’?
NAY: To Franklin Gutierrez. On opening day, Franklin homered and drove in 3. Since, he has hit zero homers and driven in just 5.
YEA: To the new ‘Speedracer’ movie. It looks like it was directed by an epileptic on a tilt a whirl. Hooray!
NAY: To last year’s rookie trio of Hunter Pence, Troy Tulowitzki and Ryan Braun. Sophomore slumps or has the book been written on them? They’ve combined this month to hit 5 homers and drive in 33, roughly the equivalent of Pat Burrell.
YEA: Speak of the devil. Since last year’s All-Star Break, Burrell has gone 27-85, with an OPS of 1.21. Wow.
NAY: To those who say Burlington County is in the styx. Sure, we’ve got some cops who like to have sex with cows, but that doesn’t make us hillbillies. Don’t stereotype.
YEA: To the NFL draft. I don’t care what some of these critics say, I love the draft. I look forward to it each year. Even more so this year, since they cut down the time to make picks in the first round. There’s a whole lot of talk this year about the Eagles making some major moves this weekend. Let’s hope it happens, because as is, this team is not a Super Bowl contender. Sounds like Lito might be heading to Tampa Bay.
NAY: To the Montreal Canadiens. As if I needed another reason to despise French Canadians. How conceited do you have to be to choose to speak your own language, opposed to the rest of your country? Imagine if South Dakota just one day decided they were going to change their official language to Portuguese. That’s Quebec for you. They just like to be difficult. The fact that the city went into full fledged riot mode after the team won the ‘FIRST ROUND’ tells you all you need to know. I can’t wait to squash their hopes and dreams.
YEA: To the Madden Curse. In case you haven’t heard, Brett Favre is going to be on the cover of Madden ’09. It will be interesting to see what happens to Favre if he stays retired. The curse doesn’t know if he’s playing or not. Something bad is due to happen. Also, in case you missed it, Favre was on Letterman last night and hinted once again that he will be back on the field come this fall. Loser.
NAY: To the Flyers and their late game collapses. They’ve been doing it all year long, giving up goals in the final minutes. They did it against the Caps and they did it again in game one versus Les Habitants. Painful.
YEA: To the new Harold and Kumar movie. Go see it.
YEA: To last nights ‘Lost’ episode. I actually yelled out loud when they killed Ben’s daughter, point blank. That doesn’t happen in other shows. They tease you saying they are going to kill someone, but nobody ever dies. But not on the island. People die all the time and IT’S AWESOME!
NAY: To the Pistons. Am I the only who is dreading the possibility of another Spurs-Pistons final? I really don’t think the Pistons will lose another game until they get to the Celtics in the Eastern Finals. The Sixers are over…accept it.
YEA: To Yankees fans. I just watched ‘61’ again the other day. Basically, it was a sob story for Roger Maris and the hardships he went through on his way to breaking Babe Ruth’s single season home run record. But am I dumb or wasn’t it the moronic Yankee fans who put him through the ringer? The movie extols Maris and all that he did, making Yankee fans wax nostalgic. But really, it just showed what a bunch of d-bags Yankee fans really are.
YEA: To Marvin Lewis. As much as I’d love to see Chad Johnson in Eagles green, it’s refreshing to see a coach put a player in his place. Go ahead and hold out Chad. The gauntlet has officially been thrown.
Lastly, just to prove how much of a dolt I am, I’m posting my predictions for the first round of tomorrow’s NFL draft. Feel free to submit your own….make a drinking game out of it. If I get 5 of these right I’ll be happy.
1. Miami-Jake Long-Pretty sure I got this one
2. New Orleans-Glenn Dorsey-Saints desparate to trade up to 2
3. Atlanta-Matt Ryan-Everyone says Ryan to Ravens, but Falcons need QB too
4. Oakland-Chris Long-Poor kid
5. Kansas City-Ryan Clady-KC needs to run to win
6. NY Jets-Darren McFadden-Single ladies in NY be warned
7. New England-Vernon Gholston-Pats don’t really need help on offense
8. Baltimore-Branden Albert-Jonathon Ogden successor
9. Cincinnatti- Sedrick Ellis-Bengals pray he falls to 9
10. St. Louis-Derrick Harvey-Rams need to get some sacks
11. Buffalo-Devin Thomas-Pick seems to easy
12. Denver-Jeff Otah-Old O-line needs new blood
13. Carolina-Keith Rivers-USC guys usually overrated
14. Chicago-Chris Williams-O-lineman going like hotcakes
15. Detroit-Leodis McKelvin-Lions have lots of holes
16. Arizona-Dominique-Rogers-Cromartie-DB run
17. Kansas City-Mike Jenkings-Run continues
18. Houston-Rashard Mendenhall-A top RB could put Texans in playoffs
19. Philadelphia-Kenny Phillips-B-Dawk in training
20. Tampa Bay-DeSean Jackson-Just makes sense to go WR
21. Washington-Philip Merling-Pass rush a necessity in DC
22. Dallas-Felix Jones-The other Arkansas RB
23. Pittsburgh-Dan Connor-PSU alum stays in state
24. Tennessee-Aqib Talib-Pac-Man replacement
25. Seattle-Johnathan Stewart-Julius Jones stinks
26. Jacksonville-Antoine Cason-Should start right away
27. San Diego-Malcolm Kelly-Chargers need to win now
28. Dallas-Limas Sweed-Bye-bye Terry Glenn
29. San Francisco-Kentwan Balmer-A bargain if still on the board
30. Green Bay-Jerrod Mayo-Good young defense gets better
31. NY Giants-Keith Rivers-LB help desperately needed
Why is the dad from ‘That 70’s Show’ cast as the lead bad guy/cop killer? Funny thing is, he’s scarier on the TV show than he is as a drug dealing sociopath.
How can only one police officer in the entire department realize that Robocop is their former partner Officer Murphy? Even I can tell and I never worked with the guy.
How can the evil company OCP build a billion dollar robot that is supposed to catch criminals, but neglect to design it so it can walk down stairs? Seriously, I could get away from that thing and I’m slower than Steve Balboni.
If I drove my truck into a vat of toxic waste, would I turn into a mutant zombie like happened to the one bad guy? I’m oddly tempted to try it and find out.
Can you believe that they actually made 2 sequels to the original and the third installment had more famous people in it than the first two? Rip Torn, Jeff Garlin, Bradley Whitford and Jill Hennessy. Shame on you all. You should all have your SAG cards pulled.
Loads of fantasy stuff to get to. I just had to get that off my chest.
YEA: Holy cow, what the heck happened to Cliff Lee. I’m sure you know he has gotten off to a hot start, but you might not realize just how hot. Check out these numbers: 4 starts, 4 wins, 31 2/3 IP, 11 hits, 2 walks, 1 earned run, 29 strikeouts. His ERA stands at 0.28, his WHIP 0.41. Words cannot describe how amazing he has been.
NAY: To Ryan Howard. Tim Kurkjian came out with an amazing stat the other day. Ryan Howard is on pace to strike out more times in April than Joe DiMaggio ever did over an entire season. Joe D’s high was 39 strikeouts in one year. Ryan Howard has struck out 32 times already this month, with 5 games to go.
YEA: To Manny Acosta. Acosta has been lights out since being anointed Braves closer. The move, of course, was by default due to Rafael Soriano’s injury. But if he keeps this up, maybe he’ll keep the job. Soriano has never been a full time closer and he might be better suited to be the setup guy. Plus, his injury history is a long one.
NAY: To Alex Gordon’s neck. Have you seen his snapshot? His neck is wider than his head. If you don’t believe me, take a look for yourself.
YEA: To CC Sabathia. Congrats on getting your first win of the year! All it took was an outing against the Royals and your lineup scoring 15 runs, but a win is a win. Amazing how some guys flourish when facing free agency while others flounder. Sabathia stands to make tens of millions of dollars this offseason. But after the Barry Zito debacle, teams are going to make sure they’ve got a sure thing before they throw that kind of money at a pitcher. Each poor start by CC cuts into his potential earnings.
NAY: To Kenny Rogers. If you’re team scores 19 runs for you, you’ve got to get the win. If you’ve still got Rogers on your fantasy squad, you are kidding yourself. He’s cooked.
YEA: To leagues with single game eligibility. If you are in such a league and own Albert Pujols, you are very happy this week. Albert played an inning at second base the other night and I know I could sure live with a second sacker who will hit .330-40-120.
NAY: To Delmon Young. Is it just me or does this guy just seem to do a whole lot of nothing?
YEA: To Pac-Man Jones. It’s a great week to be a Cowboys hater. Am I the only one who sees an eerie resemblance between Pac-Man and Jerry Jones? Crazy eyes, a penchant for strip clubs, both absolutely reprehensible human beings, same last name. Can you say ‘lovechild’?
NAY: To Franklin Gutierrez. On opening day, Franklin homered and drove in 3. Since, he has hit zero homers and driven in just 5.
YEA: To the new ‘Speedracer’ movie. It looks like it was directed by an epileptic on a tilt a whirl. Hooray!
NAY: To last year’s rookie trio of Hunter Pence, Troy Tulowitzki and Ryan Braun. Sophomore slumps or has the book been written on them? They’ve combined this month to hit 5 homers and drive in 33, roughly the equivalent of Pat Burrell.
YEA: Speak of the devil. Since last year’s All-Star Break, Burrell has gone 27-85, with an OPS of 1.21. Wow.
NAY: To those who say Burlington County is in the styx. Sure, we’ve got some cops who like to have sex with cows, but that doesn’t make us hillbillies. Don’t stereotype.
YEA: To the NFL draft. I don’t care what some of these critics say, I love the draft. I look forward to it each year. Even more so this year, since they cut down the time to make picks in the first round. There’s a whole lot of talk this year about the Eagles making some major moves this weekend. Let’s hope it happens, because as is, this team is not a Super Bowl contender. Sounds like Lito might be heading to Tampa Bay.
NAY: To the Montreal Canadiens. As if I needed another reason to despise French Canadians. How conceited do you have to be to choose to speak your own language, opposed to the rest of your country? Imagine if South Dakota just one day decided they were going to change their official language to Portuguese. That’s Quebec for you. They just like to be difficult. The fact that the city went into full fledged riot mode after the team won the ‘FIRST ROUND’ tells you all you need to know. I can’t wait to squash their hopes and dreams.
YEA: To the Madden Curse. In case you haven’t heard, Brett Favre is going to be on the cover of Madden ’09. It will be interesting to see what happens to Favre if he stays retired. The curse doesn’t know if he’s playing or not. Something bad is due to happen. Also, in case you missed it, Favre was on Letterman last night and hinted once again that he will be back on the field come this fall. Loser.
NAY: To the Flyers and their late game collapses. They’ve been doing it all year long, giving up goals in the final minutes. They did it against the Caps and they did it again in game one versus Les Habitants. Painful.
YEA: To the new Harold and Kumar movie. Go see it.
YEA: To last nights ‘Lost’ episode. I actually yelled out loud when they killed Ben’s daughter, point blank. That doesn’t happen in other shows. They tease you saying they are going to kill someone, but nobody ever dies. But not on the island. People die all the time and IT’S AWESOME!
NAY: To the Pistons. Am I the only who is dreading the possibility of another Spurs-Pistons final? I really don’t think the Pistons will lose another game until they get to the Celtics in the Eastern Finals. The Sixers are over…accept it.
YEA: To Yankees fans. I just watched ‘61’ again the other day. Basically, it was a sob story for Roger Maris and the hardships he went through on his way to breaking Babe Ruth’s single season home run record. But am I dumb or wasn’t it the moronic Yankee fans who put him through the ringer? The movie extols Maris and all that he did, making Yankee fans wax nostalgic. But really, it just showed what a bunch of d-bags Yankee fans really are.
YEA: To Marvin Lewis. As much as I’d love to see Chad Johnson in Eagles green, it’s refreshing to see a coach put a player in his place. Go ahead and hold out Chad. The gauntlet has officially been thrown.
Lastly, just to prove how much of a dolt I am, I’m posting my predictions for the first round of tomorrow’s NFL draft. Feel free to submit your own….make a drinking game out of it. If I get 5 of these right I’ll be happy.
1. Miami-Jake Long-Pretty sure I got this one
2. New Orleans-Glenn Dorsey-Saints desparate to trade up to 2
3. Atlanta-Matt Ryan-Everyone says Ryan to Ravens, but Falcons need QB too
4. Oakland-Chris Long-Poor kid
5. Kansas City-Ryan Clady-KC needs to run to win
6. NY Jets-Darren McFadden-Single ladies in NY be warned
7. New England-Vernon Gholston-Pats don’t really need help on offense
8. Baltimore-Branden Albert-Jonathon Ogden successor
9. Cincinnatti- Sedrick Ellis-Bengals pray he falls to 9
10. St. Louis-Derrick Harvey-Rams need to get some sacks
11. Buffalo-Devin Thomas-Pick seems to easy
12. Denver-Jeff Otah-Old O-line needs new blood
13. Carolina-Keith Rivers-USC guys usually overrated
14. Chicago-Chris Williams-O-lineman going like hotcakes
15. Detroit-Leodis McKelvin-Lions have lots of holes
16. Arizona-Dominique-Rogers-Cromartie-DB run
17. Kansas City-Mike Jenkings-Run continues
18. Houston-Rashard Mendenhall-A top RB could put Texans in playoffs
19. Philadelphia-Kenny Phillips-B-Dawk in training
20. Tampa Bay-DeSean Jackson-Just makes sense to go WR
21. Washington-Philip Merling-Pass rush a necessity in DC
22. Dallas-Felix Jones-The other Arkansas RB
23. Pittsburgh-Dan Connor-PSU alum stays in state
24. Tennessee-Aqib Talib-Pac-Man replacement
25. Seattle-Johnathan Stewart-Julius Jones stinks
26. Jacksonville-Antoine Cason-Should start right away
27. San Diego-Malcolm Kelly-Chargers need to win now
28. Dallas-Limas Sweed-Bye-bye Terry Glenn
29. San Francisco-Kentwan Balmer-A bargain if still on the board
30. Green Bay-Jerrod Mayo-Good young defense gets better
31. NY Giants-Keith Rivers-LB help desperately needed
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
WEEK 4-WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
If week 4 is as good to me as week 3 was, then I’ll be a very happy man.
Week 3-Mixed league H2H-I won 8-1-1, losing the only category Sunday night thanks to Brad Lidge. Tom has Jerry. Bugs has Elmer Fudd. Randy has tiny ankles. I’ve got Brad Lidge. He will follow me to my grave. I hate you.
Week 3-AL only H2H-I won 7-2-1, despite having an ERA over 5 and a WHIP hovering near 1.6. Hitting was the key and my boys did it.
My T-ball girls are 3-0!! Even though we don’t keep score, I know we would have kicked some 7 year old ass if we did. I’ve got a couple of mashers!
I kind of felt like Buttermaker from the original Bad News Bears this past Saturday morning. Not because I was coaching Kelly Leake, but because I was pretty hungover when the game got underway. These early morning games are for the birds.
Chances are, by the time you read this, week 4 will have already gotten underway. That’s because today is the annual Patriots Day game in Boston, when the Sox have their first pitch at 11:05 AM. So if you slept in, tough luck.
There are lots of guys coming back from the DL this week and they should all be reinserted into your lineup ASAP. Curtis Granderson, Scott Rolen and Dioner Navarro all are expected back by Tuesday or Wednesday.
One guy we don’t know about is Ben Sheets. Sheets left his game early last week with triceps soreness. Any other year, this would mean a DL stint. But 2008 is different. 2008 is contract year for Mr. Sheets and I think he’ll find a way to fight through the pain. Prove to everyone that he is different. That he is durable. That he can in fact suck it up and behave like a true ace. Of course, if this happens next year, after he gets his big contract, he’ll be put on the DL before he leaves the mound.
For those of you who listened to me about Jair Jurjenns, congratulations. For those of you who didn’t, ha-ha.
Nice to see Hank the Wank doing everything he can to make the Yankees all about him. Hank has taken it upon himself to mandate that Joba Chamberlain be moved out of the bullpen and into the rotation. It’s sad to think that George Steinbrenner is the rational one right now and he’s a vegetable. I’ll bet nobody throws a temper tantrum like Hankie.
“Why won’t you people listen to me? I played little league! You are so fired when my dad hears about this! Mom, make me a sandwich! And don’t forget to cut off the crusts this time or you are so fired! Get me Cashman on the phone….he is so fired! And somebody tell A-Rod that he needs to hit more home runs. How hard can it be? Hit a home run and I win! Simple. And tell Suzyn Waldman that Hankie is in the mood for a spanky. Same time, same place. Where’s that sandwich?”
I used to feel sorry for Brian Cashman, until he had a chance to get out of New York, but decided to re-up. He probably saw George going down the tubes and thought this would be his chance to really run the Yankees. But then here comes Little Hank!! Sorry B-Cash, but there’s a new jackass in town!
Kosuke Fukudome missed a game yesterday because he had a third eye develop in the middle of his forehead. Reports are that Lou Pinella plans on cutting it out and giving it to Felix Pie, because his eyes obviously don’t work.
Several Red Sox notes, so hold on tight.
Big Papi is hitting. If you were silly enough to bail on him, you get what you deserve.
An interesting battle is taking place in the Sox infield, though you might not know it. Jed Lowrie has been called up and is playing third base for the injured Mike Lowell. This does several things.
First, it proves my point that Sean Casey is persona non grata, especially in fantasy. He hasn’t been relevant since 1999, and that’s being generous.
Second, Lowrie is a shortstop. Lowrie has from now until when Lowell returns to outplay Julio Lugo. If he does, the Sox just might move Lowrie to short and move Lugo to the bench. Julio has been pretty awful so far, especially in the field, so Lowrie has a golden opportunity in front of him.
Third, keep the faith with Clay Buchholz. His first three starts have come against the Yankees and the Blue Jays, two lineups which can mash, especially right handers. Buchholz has terrific stuff, but a lot of people seem to have soured on him based on his so-so first three games. Stick with him.
Garry Sheffield, one of the guys I touted highly this spring, is complaining about his shoulder again. I say give him a cortisone shot and shove him out there. I need you Sheff!
Two of the streakiest hitters in all of baseball are heating up. Edwin Encarnacion and Khalil Greene have both finally woken up and when these guys are on, they can practically carry your team. It’s waiting out the doldrums which is tough. Greene has five of the next 7 games at home, which is usually a killer to his power. But after that, he hits the road. Homers are coming.
I know Eric Gagne imploded on Sunday, but what the hell is Ned Yost doing pitching him four straight games? Nobody does that, let alone a guy with a long injury history such as Gagne. He’s a bottom end closer, but I guarantee Gagne is in no danger of losing his job, which is more than a lot of closers can say.
How much did the Phillies screw up this whole J-Roll thing? Instead of immediately placing him on the DL when he first injured the ankle, they messed around with it, pinch hitting him whenever they could, only to be forced to finally disable him on Sunday. More than a week after the injury occurred.
If I ever run into Jeremy Accardo in a bar, I feel the need to pick up his tab. On April 8th, I wrote how it was possible Accardo might not cede the closers job when BJ Ryan returned. At that point, Accardo had been untouchable. Since then, here are his numbers: 5IP, 7 hits, 2 walks, 2 strikeouts, ERA 14.40. Sorry bro.
I love the fact that Chris Young could go 30-30, but I am not sure if the guy is capable of hitting .230. We make fun of guys like Adam Dunn and Pat Burrell because they mash 40 homers, but bat .250. Young is worse than that and I don’t know how he’s going to change. They aren’t going to send him down for some extra work. He is what he is. A batting average albatross.
And finally, week 4’s top target. Each week I’m going to suggest someone for you to go out and trade for. Someone who’s stock is extremely low. So low, that you should be able to steal him.
This week’s target is Brandon Phillips. After last year’s breakout, owners were expecting monster numbers from the second baseman. But so far, he’s been a dud, with just 1 homer and 3 steals. The 5 RBIs are pretty crappy too. Go get him, before he heats up with the weather. 30-30 second sackers don’t grow on trees.
If you do happen to get Phillips, I’d like to hear about it and congratulate you. Leave a comment on the board telling me how you got him. I’ll be working on him myself and if I’m successful, I’ll do the same.
Go Flyers!!!!!
Week 3-Mixed league H2H-I won 8-1-1, losing the only category Sunday night thanks to Brad Lidge. Tom has Jerry. Bugs has Elmer Fudd. Randy has tiny ankles. I’ve got Brad Lidge. He will follow me to my grave. I hate you.
Week 3-AL only H2H-I won 7-2-1, despite having an ERA over 5 and a WHIP hovering near 1.6. Hitting was the key and my boys did it.
My T-ball girls are 3-0!! Even though we don’t keep score, I know we would have kicked some 7 year old ass if we did. I’ve got a couple of mashers!
I kind of felt like Buttermaker from the original Bad News Bears this past Saturday morning. Not because I was coaching Kelly Leake, but because I was pretty hungover when the game got underway. These early morning games are for the birds.
Chances are, by the time you read this, week 4 will have already gotten underway. That’s because today is the annual Patriots Day game in Boston, when the Sox have their first pitch at 11:05 AM. So if you slept in, tough luck.
There are lots of guys coming back from the DL this week and they should all be reinserted into your lineup ASAP. Curtis Granderson, Scott Rolen and Dioner Navarro all are expected back by Tuesday or Wednesday.
One guy we don’t know about is Ben Sheets. Sheets left his game early last week with triceps soreness. Any other year, this would mean a DL stint. But 2008 is different. 2008 is contract year for Mr. Sheets and I think he’ll find a way to fight through the pain. Prove to everyone that he is different. That he is durable. That he can in fact suck it up and behave like a true ace. Of course, if this happens next year, after he gets his big contract, he’ll be put on the DL before he leaves the mound.
For those of you who listened to me about Jair Jurjenns, congratulations. For those of you who didn’t, ha-ha.
Nice to see Hank the Wank doing everything he can to make the Yankees all about him. Hank has taken it upon himself to mandate that Joba Chamberlain be moved out of the bullpen and into the rotation. It’s sad to think that George Steinbrenner is the rational one right now and he’s a vegetable. I’ll bet nobody throws a temper tantrum like Hankie.
“Why won’t you people listen to me? I played little league! You are so fired when my dad hears about this! Mom, make me a sandwich! And don’t forget to cut off the crusts this time or you are so fired! Get me Cashman on the phone….he is so fired! And somebody tell A-Rod that he needs to hit more home runs. How hard can it be? Hit a home run and I win! Simple. And tell Suzyn Waldman that Hankie is in the mood for a spanky. Same time, same place. Where’s that sandwich?”
I used to feel sorry for Brian Cashman, until he had a chance to get out of New York, but decided to re-up. He probably saw George going down the tubes and thought this would be his chance to really run the Yankees. But then here comes Little Hank!! Sorry B-Cash, but there’s a new jackass in town!
Kosuke Fukudome missed a game yesterday because he had a third eye develop in the middle of his forehead. Reports are that Lou Pinella plans on cutting it out and giving it to Felix Pie, because his eyes obviously don’t work.
Several Red Sox notes, so hold on tight.
Big Papi is hitting. If you were silly enough to bail on him, you get what you deserve.
An interesting battle is taking place in the Sox infield, though you might not know it. Jed Lowrie has been called up and is playing third base for the injured Mike Lowell. This does several things.
First, it proves my point that Sean Casey is persona non grata, especially in fantasy. He hasn’t been relevant since 1999, and that’s being generous.
Second, Lowrie is a shortstop. Lowrie has from now until when Lowell returns to outplay Julio Lugo. If he does, the Sox just might move Lowrie to short and move Lugo to the bench. Julio has been pretty awful so far, especially in the field, so Lowrie has a golden opportunity in front of him.
Third, keep the faith with Clay Buchholz. His first three starts have come against the Yankees and the Blue Jays, two lineups which can mash, especially right handers. Buchholz has terrific stuff, but a lot of people seem to have soured on him based on his so-so first three games. Stick with him.
Garry Sheffield, one of the guys I touted highly this spring, is complaining about his shoulder again. I say give him a cortisone shot and shove him out there. I need you Sheff!
Two of the streakiest hitters in all of baseball are heating up. Edwin Encarnacion and Khalil Greene have both finally woken up and when these guys are on, they can practically carry your team. It’s waiting out the doldrums which is tough. Greene has five of the next 7 games at home, which is usually a killer to his power. But after that, he hits the road. Homers are coming.
I know Eric Gagne imploded on Sunday, but what the hell is Ned Yost doing pitching him four straight games? Nobody does that, let alone a guy with a long injury history such as Gagne. He’s a bottom end closer, but I guarantee Gagne is in no danger of losing his job, which is more than a lot of closers can say.
How much did the Phillies screw up this whole J-Roll thing? Instead of immediately placing him on the DL when he first injured the ankle, they messed around with it, pinch hitting him whenever they could, only to be forced to finally disable him on Sunday. More than a week after the injury occurred.
If I ever run into Jeremy Accardo in a bar, I feel the need to pick up his tab. On April 8th, I wrote how it was possible Accardo might not cede the closers job when BJ Ryan returned. At that point, Accardo had been untouchable. Since then, here are his numbers: 5IP, 7 hits, 2 walks, 2 strikeouts, ERA 14.40. Sorry bro.
I love the fact that Chris Young could go 30-30, but I am not sure if the guy is capable of hitting .230. We make fun of guys like Adam Dunn and Pat Burrell because they mash 40 homers, but bat .250. Young is worse than that and I don’t know how he’s going to change. They aren’t going to send him down for some extra work. He is what he is. A batting average albatross.
And finally, week 4’s top target. Each week I’m going to suggest someone for you to go out and trade for. Someone who’s stock is extremely low. So low, that you should be able to steal him.
This week’s target is Brandon Phillips. After last year’s breakout, owners were expecting monster numbers from the second baseman. But so far, he’s been a dud, with just 1 homer and 3 steals. The 5 RBIs are pretty crappy too. Go get him, before he heats up with the weather. 30-30 second sackers don’t grow on trees.
If you do happen to get Phillips, I’d like to hear about it and congratulate you. Leave a comment on the board telling me how you got him. I’ll be working on him myself and if I’m successful, I’ll do the same.
Go Flyers!!!!!
Friday, April 18, 2008
YEA OR NAY FOR APRIL 18TH
Hi, my name is Gary and I’m a batting average snob.
It’s taken me 19 years, but I finally came to that realization this week, when I carelessly dealt away James Loney and Carlos Marmol for Pedro Feliz and John Maine.
I look at my lineups and far too often see the likes of Adam Dunn, Pat Burrell, Chris Young, Mark Ellis, Jhonny Peralta.
Nowhere to be found are Ichiro, Derek Jeter, Derek Lee, Vlad Guerrero, Placido Polanco.
This trend continued this week in the dumping of Loney in favor of Feliz.
I am still happy with the deal. Feliz should belt 30 homers and Maine WILL BE a top 10 starter by the time the year is over. I just think it funny that, looking back, I couldn’t care one iota about average.
It’s been a long week in the McPherson household. Sorry for the wait. Here we go with Yea or Nay.
YEA: To any owners who are ready to bail on Troy Tulowitzki. I’m not one of them and I’ll be the first to jump at the chance to take him from you.
NAY: To Gavin Floyd. Don’t be sucked in. This dude blows.
YEA: To my main man Pat Burrell. Brother knows a contract year when he smells it.
NAY: To Alfonso Soriano and Shane Victorino. A calf strain? Really guys? I’m saddened by your propensity to be wusses.
YEA: To the Yankees organization. Classy act burying that Red Sox jersey underneath your new stadium. Are you so starved for attention that you have to stoop to such publicity stunts? I’d like to say Hank Steinbrenner is better than that, but really, he isn’t.
NAY: To the Mariners. You gave up your entire farm system for Erik Bedard. More than the Mets gave up for Johan. Didn’t you do your homework? You had to know this guy is the real life version of the game ‘Operation’.
YEA: To playoff hockey. I’m pretty sure I watched only a tenth of a period through the entire regular season. But I can’t take my eyes off the Flyers-Caps. I think we should just hold a lottery each year…pull 16 teams from a hat and set the playoffs and away we go.
NAY: On a similar note, a nay to the NHL. The Rangers Sean Avery came up with an inventive way of disrupting the goalie. Instead of standing in the crease with his back to the goalie, Avery stood facing him and pissed Martin Brodeur off to no end. A day later, the league passed a rule outlawing this. God forbid the NHL allows one of its players to do something inventive and colorful. Should Avery have gotten his ass beaten? Heck yeah. Should what he did be outlawed? No way.
YEA: Mike Knuble just scored the game winner. I’m Flyered up!
NAY: To Alexander Ovechkin. Nice vanishing act.
YEA: To Cliff Lee. Remember him? Lee was a top prospect who went 32-13 in 2004-05. Injuries sidetracked him in ’07, but he looks like he’s back with a vengeance. 12-1 strikeout to walk ratio in his first two starts. He’s only 29….giddyup.
NAY: To writing an article with your kids in the room. I’m one of those guys who writes off the cuff, basically rambling. If I’m at the computer, I’ll type whatever thoughts pass through my head. This is no lie, I actually wrote this the other day.
‘Andruw Jones has brought the plague to Los Angeles. Anyone who thought last year was a fluke is way wrong. Owen, what the hell is wrong with you? ***dammit, stay out of the refrigerator!’
I need to get myself an office. That or start doing this at the library.
YEA: To Manny Ramirez. People say bad stuff about Manny, like he’s dumb and spacey. Really, I’m starting to think that’s just his way of shrugging off attention. The last thing Manny is would be stupid. The Sox hold a team option for Manny in 2009. If he jacks 40 bombs this year, can they really not pick that up? Believe me, Manny is no dummy. He sure as heck is odd, but don’t confuse that with stupidity.
NAY: To the Nats. Do you realize they’ve only played 7 home games and they are already having problems getting people in the seats. At least Montreal could blame their putrid attendance on the French Canadians. So much for the theory of if you build it, they will come.
YEA: To Chipper Jones and John Smoltz. Even Phillies fans have to tip their caps to these two guys, who have been doing it year after year after year. In the past three years, Chipper’s batting average has been .324, .337, and now .443! Interesting fact: despite playing in numerous fantasy leagues, Chipper has never once been on any of my rosters. Just driving home my point.
NAY: To Comcast for getting rid of Nick Gas. I can live without ‘Get The Picture’, but I sure do miss ‘Legends of the Hidden Temple’ and ‘GUTS’. You can keep NFL Network, I need my Gas!!!
YEA: To Prince Fielder, who finally decided to hit a homer on Thursday. This vegetarian thing ain’t working big guy. Go get yourself a Baconator!!!!!
NAY: To Phil Hughes. Dude, you are killing me.
YEA: To Randy Johnson’s triumphant return to the mound. 7 K’s are fine, but the Unit needs to cool it with the free passes. The important thing is he feels good. The control will come in time. He just needs to stay out there.
NAY: To kids birthday parties. Was every single kid born in the spring or what? My daughter was invited to two parties between October and February. Now, there is one every stinking weekend. The one this weekend is going to have a giant inflatable moonbounce. I’m going to annihilate that thing.
YEA: To R.A. Dickey. Somebody told me his initials stand for Really Ample. I’m still trying to confirm this.
NAY: To people in your leagues who are just plain lazy. In my one league, I decided I wanted to put feelers out for Ryan Howard. I spoke to one guy on the phone and this is how the conversation went.
“Hey man, I’m looking to move Howard. Any interest.”
“Nah.”
Oh, so you have zero interest in a guy who is going to hit 45-50 homers and drive in 125? I can understand if a deal doesn’t work, but to just say ‘nah’ makes me cringe. Okay, best of luck with Adam LaRoche.
YEA: To “Sweeney Todd”. Johnny Depp is the best actor alive and I just love a good musical. Wait…
NAY: To Kevin Love, the UCLA freshman who has decided to leave school to join the NBA draft. Think JJ Reddick, only whiter. If he can average 5 points a game next year, I’ll eat my laptop. Fans of Kevin better be sure to tune into the NBA draft, because that might be the last time you see him where he won’t be sitting on the end of the bench with his tracksuit on.
YEA: To the Knicks for relieving Isiah Thomas of his coaching duties, but reassigning him to another position within the organization. Because we all know, if there is anybody who was dealt a lousy hand and deserves a second shot, it’s Isiah.
NAY: To escalators at Shea stadium. Apparently, this was the second time somebody was killed inside that dump. If I ever hear another Met fan say how horrible the Vet was, I’ll punch him in his misshapen head. The only thing that ever died in the Vet were the hopes and dreams of millions of Philly fans.
YEA: To Steve McNair. It’s nice to see an athlete only take 3 years to realize he is washed up and should be put out to pasture. Usually it’s a much longer and more painful process.
How bad do you have to be to be a starting quarterback in the NFL, yet go undrafted in nearly every fantasy league? Each year, there’s one or two of those guys. McNair was a member of that organization. NFL coaches should take note. If a guy can’t get drafted in fantasy, he shouldn’t be your starter.
And how old does it make you feel when guys start to retire that you can clearly remember in college and then getting drafted? It seemed like just yesterday that McNair was running and gunning for Alcorn State. Now he’s being put out to pasture. My gray hairs just doubled. (but at least they didn’t fall out)
NAY: To the NFL for giving the Browns like 8 primetime games. I feel sorry for Cleveland fans because you know that this just absolutely jinxed the hell out of your season. If the Browns win 6 this year it will be a miracle.
YEA: To the remaining Survivor contestants. Smart move getting rid of Ozzy, but have you ever seen anyone as conniving and manipulative as Cirie? She couldn’t win a challenge if it was covered in ice cream, but if she wants you gone, you will be.
NAY: To Big Papi. I love you man, but what up? And you fans who are booing better shut your mouths. If anybody deserves leniency, it’s him.
YEA: To your mom.
NAY: To ‘Made of Honor’. Guys, make sure you are busy the weekend this movie comes out. Trust me!!
NAY: To Justin Germano. I like the ERA and WHIP dude, but 6 strikeouts in 20 innings? Weak.
YEA: To Kyle Lohse. He’s pitching lights out for St. Louis. Chances are he won’t keep it up, but he’s making the Phillies regret that they didn’t resign him.
NAY: A big fat nay for the Atlanta and Cleveland bullpens. I don’t know where to begin with these situations. At least the Indians have Rafael Betancourt, but who knows if he can close. Something makes me think he might not have the mental makeup, since they held onto Bum Borowski for so long. And in Atlanta, good god. Buddy Carlyle pitched the 9th on Thursday. It was a non-save situation, but still, he was the guy who finished the game, while Manny Acta pitched the 8th.
YEA: To Homer Bailey and Luke Hochevar. Get ready, because these guys are coming. Don’t miss the boat.
NAY: Lastly, a humongous NAY to doing what I did this week. I woke one night in a cold sweat, trembling from a nightmare. My wife heard my sobs and asked what was wrong. I told her I just had a nightmare where she was pregnant.
Note to all guys….if you ever have this nightmare, don’t tell your wife. Say you were being chased by a dinosaur or something. I should have been smarter and known this, but I she caught me at a moment of weakness. She’s going to hold that over my head until I go to the grave.
Enjoy Johan and Cole tonight! Hopefully somebody gets beaned and these two teams start walking the walk, instead of just talking the talk.
It’s taken me 19 years, but I finally came to that realization this week, when I carelessly dealt away James Loney and Carlos Marmol for Pedro Feliz and John Maine.
I look at my lineups and far too often see the likes of Adam Dunn, Pat Burrell, Chris Young, Mark Ellis, Jhonny Peralta.
Nowhere to be found are Ichiro, Derek Jeter, Derek Lee, Vlad Guerrero, Placido Polanco.
This trend continued this week in the dumping of Loney in favor of Feliz.
I am still happy with the deal. Feliz should belt 30 homers and Maine WILL BE a top 10 starter by the time the year is over. I just think it funny that, looking back, I couldn’t care one iota about average.
It’s been a long week in the McPherson household. Sorry for the wait. Here we go with Yea or Nay.
YEA: To any owners who are ready to bail on Troy Tulowitzki. I’m not one of them and I’ll be the first to jump at the chance to take him from you.
NAY: To Gavin Floyd. Don’t be sucked in. This dude blows.
YEA: To my main man Pat Burrell. Brother knows a contract year when he smells it.
NAY: To Alfonso Soriano and Shane Victorino. A calf strain? Really guys? I’m saddened by your propensity to be wusses.
YEA: To the Yankees organization. Classy act burying that Red Sox jersey underneath your new stadium. Are you so starved for attention that you have to stoop to such publicity stunts? I’d like to say Hank Steinbrenner is better than that, but really, he isn’t.
NAY: To the Mariners. You gave up your entire farm system for Erik Bedard. More than the Mets gave up for Johan. Didn’t you do your homework? You had to know this guy is the real life version of the game ‘Operation’.
YEA: To playoff hockey. I’m pretty sure I watched only a tenth of a period through the entire regular season. But I can’t take my eyes off the Flyers-Caps. I think we should just hold a lottery each year…pull 16 teams from a hat and set the playoffs and away we go.
NAY: On a similar note, a nay to the NHL. The Rangers Sean Avery came up with an inventive way of disrupting the goalie. Instead of standing in the crease with his back to the goalie, Avery stood facing him and pissed Martin Brodeur off to no end. A day later, the league passed a rule outlawing this. God forbid the NHL allows one of its players to do something inventive and colorful. Should Avery have gotten his ass beaten? Heck yeah. Should what he did be outlawed? No way.
YEA: Mike Knuble just scored the game winner. I’m Flyered up!
NAY: To Alexander Ovechkin. Nice vanishing act.
YEA: To Cliff Lee. Remember him? Lee was a top prospect who went 32-13 in 2004-05. Injuries sidetracked him in ’07, but he looks like he’s back with a vengeance. 12-1 strikeout to walk ratio in his first two starts. He’s only 29….giddyup.
NAY: To writing an article with your kids in the room. I’m one of those guys who writes off the cuff, basically rambling. If I’m at the computer, I’ll type whatever thoughts pass through my head. This is no lie, I actually wrote this the other day.
‘Andruw Jones has brought the plague to Los Angeles. Anyone who thought last year was a fluke is way wrong. Owen, what the hell is wrong with you? ***dammit, stay out of the refrigerator!’
I need to get myself an office. That or start doing this at the library.
YEA: To Manny Ramirez. People say bad stuff about Manny, like he’s dumb and spacey. Really, I’m starting to think that’s just his way of shrugging off attention. The last thing Manny is would be stupid. The Sox hold a team option for Manny in 2009. If he jacks 40 bombs this year, can they really not pick that up? Believe me, Manny is no dummy. He sure as heck is odd, but don’t confuse that with stupidity.
NAY: To the Nats. Do you realize they’ve only played 7 home games and they are already having problems getting people in the seats. At least Montreal could blame their putrid attendance on the French Canadians. So much for the theory of if you build it, they will come.
YEA: To Chipper Jones and John Smoltz. Even Phillies fans have to tip their caps to these two guys, who have been doing it year after year after year. In the past three years, Chipper’s batting average has been .324, .337, and now .443! Interesting fact: despite playing in numerous fantasy leagues, Chipper has never once been on any of my rosters. Just driving home my point.
NAY: To Comcast for getting rid of Nick Gas. I can live without ‘Get The Picture’, but I sure do miss ‘Legends of the Hidden Temple’ and ‘GUTS’. You can keep NFL Network, I need my Gas!!!
YEA: To Prince Fielder, who finally decided to hit a homer on Thursday. This vegetarian thing ain’t working big guy. Go get yourself a Baconator!!!!!
NAY: To Phil Hughes. Dude, you are killing me.
YEA: To Randy Johnson’s triumphant return to the mound. 7 K’s are fine, but the Unit needs to cool it with the free passes. The important thing is he feels good. The control will come in time. He just needs to stay out there.
NAY: To kids birthday parties. Was every single kid born in the spring or what? My daughter was invited to two parties between October and February. Now, there is one every stinking weekend. The one this weekend is going to have a giant inflatable moonbounce. I’m going to annihilate that thing.
YEA: To R.A. Dickey. Somebody told me his initials stand for Really Ample. I’m still trying to confirm this.
NAY: To people in your leagues who are just plain lazy. In my one league, I decided I wanted to put feelers out for Ryan Howard. I spoke to one guy on the phone and this is how the conversation went.
“Hey man, I’m looking to move Howard. Any interest.”
“Nah.”
Oh, so you have zero interest in a guy who is going to hit 45-50 homers and drive in 125? I can understand if a deal doesn’t work, but to just say ‘nah’ makes me cringe. Okay, best of luck with Adam LaRoche.
YEA: To “Sweeney Todd”. Johnny Depp is the best actor alive and I just love a good musical. Wait…
NAY: To Kevin Love, the UCLA freshman who has decided to leave school to join the NBA draft. Think JJ Reddick, only whiter. If he can average 5 points a game next year, I’ll eat my laptop. Fans of Kevin better be sure to tune into the NBA draft, because that might be the last time you see him where he won’t be sitting on the end of the bench with his tracksuit on.
YEA: To the Knicks for relieving Isiah Thomas of his coaching duties, but reassigning him to another position within the organization. Because we all know, if there is anybody who was dealt a lousy hand and deserves a second shot, it’s Isiah.
NAY: To escalators at Shea stadium. Apparently, this was the second time somebody was killed inside that dump. If I ever hear another Met fan say how horrible the Vet was, I’ll punch him in his misshapen head. The only thing that ever died in the Vet were the hopes and dreams of millions of Philly fans.
YEA: To Steve McNair. It’s nice to see an athlete only take 3 years to realize he is washed up and should be put out to pasture. Usually it’s a much longer and more painful process.
How bad do you have to be to be a starting quarterback in the NFL, yet go undrafted in nearly every fantasy league? Each year, there’s one or two of those guys. McNair was a member of that organization. NFL coaches should take note. If a guy can’t get drafted in fantasy, he shouldn’t be your starter.
And how old does it make you feel when guys start to retire that you can clearly remember in college and then getting drafted? It seemed like just yesterday that McNair was running and gunning for Alcorn State. Now he’s being put out to pasture. My gray hairs just doubled. (but at least they didn’t fall out)
NAY: To the NFL for giving the Browns like 8 primetime games. I feel sorry for Cleveland fans because you know that this just absolutely jinxed the hell out of your season. If the Browns win 6 this year it will be a miracle.
YEA: To the remaining Survivor contestants. Smart move getting rid of Ozzy, but have you ever seen anyone as conniving and manipulative as Cirie? She couldn’t win a challenge if it was covered in ice cream, but if she wants you gone, you will be.
NAY: To Big Papi. I love you man, but what up? And you fans who are booing better shut your mouths. If anybody deserves leniency, it’s him.
YEA: To your mom.
NAY: To ‘Made of Honor’. Guys, make sure you are busy the weekend this movie comes out. Trust me!!
NAY: To Justin Germano. I like the ERA and WHIP dude, but 6 strikeouts in 20 innings? Weak.
YEA: To Kyle Lohse. He’s pitching lights out for St. Louis. Chances are he won’t keep it up, but he’s making the Phillies regret that they didn’t resign him.
NAY: A big fat nay for the Atlanta and Cleveland bullpens. I don’t know where to begin with these situations. At least the Indians have Rafael Betancourt, but who knows if he can close. Something makes me think he might not have the mental makeup, since they held onto Bum Borowski for so long. And in Atlanta, good god. Buddy Carlyle pitched the 9th on Thursday. It was a non-save situation, but still, he was the guy who finished the game, while Manny Acta pitched the 8th.
YEA: To Homer Bailey and Luke Hochevar. Get ready, because these guys are coming. Don’t miss the boat.
NAY: Lastly, a humongous NAY to doing what I did this week. I woke one night in a cold sweat, trembling from a nightmare. My wife heard my sobs and asked what was wrong. I told her I just had a nightmare where she was pregnant.
Note to all guys….if you ever have this nightmare, don’t tell your wife. Say you were being chased by a dinosaur or something. I should have been smarter and known this, but I she caught me at a moment of weakness. She’s going to hold that over my head until I go to the grave.
Enjoy Johan and Cole tonight! Hopefully somebody gets beaned and these two teams start walking the walk, instead of just talking the talk.
Friday, April 11, 2008
YEA OR NAY FOR APRIL 11TH
Hope you are all feeling better today than Tampa’s Al Reyes who started a bar brawl late last night and had to be tased by police. I guess that’s what happens when you lose your job to Troy Percival.
Okay, test time.
What big time college basketball coach said this about his team’s free throw shooting problems in mid-March?
“It’s not something we spend a lot of time with.”
John Calipari learned a bitter lesson this week when his team gave away the national championship, because they couldn’t make a foul shot.
Calipari kind of reminds me of that mom you hear about who gets busted for providing beer to her 14 year old son and his friends. She wants to be the cool mom, not the mom who makes her kid do the stuff he’s supposed to.
Rather than have his team actually work on free throw shooting, Calipari chose to ignore the problem and assume it would never bite him in the butt.
We really didn’t need Calipari to tell us his team didn’t spend a lot of time with free throws. The entire world saw it on Monday night.
Mario Chalmers’ game tying three at the end of regulation was a terrific shot, but I won’t remember it the way I remember Keith Smart’s winning shot for Indiana. Or the play at the end of the NC State win over Houston.
This game will be remembered for the Memphis collapse. Not only at the free throw line, but for the brainfart that allowed Chalmers to even attempt the three. Memphis could have fouled, forcing Kansas to the line to shoot just two free throws, eliminating any chance of a tie.
Argue it all you want, but the Tigers choked. Put this one in the books with Chris Webber calling a timeout when he didn’t have any left. The game was lost, rather than one.
On a completely different note, isn’t it amazing how much fun history is when you get to watch it on television compared to sitting in a classroom listening to Mr. Weinberg? I couldn’t give a rat’s bum about John Adams until the HBO mini-series came about. Now I want to start wearing a powdered wig and I’m not even going bald.
How about that Ben Franklin. What a giant a**. Who knew that? I always wondered how a guy got to be on the hundred dollar bill, but didn’t get to be President.
Sure, he tied a key to a kite string and figured out something about electricity…blah, blah, blah. I discovered the same thing when I was 6 and I stuck my tongue in an electrical socket.
Ben did set the mold for the modern day politician. And if you think that is a good thing, you are a nincompoop.
Next time I see him roaming the streets of Philadelphia, I think I’ll give him a kick in the groin. I don’t care if it’s just an actor….he deserves it.
And three cheers for modern medicine, because my delicate sensibilities would not have been able to handle the whole pox thing. I feel bad for the actor who played the patient in the back of the doctor’s cart. His resume must read:
Mike Smith got his big break by appearing in ‘John Adams’ as the guy infected with the pox who had infected puss scraped from his open sores.
They could have at least thrown the guy a bone and given him a line….like ‘Am I getting paid for this?’ or ‘Can’t we find a less disgusting way to cure people?’
On to the weekly Yea or Nay.
YEA: To my man Joe Crede. Joe has been bruised and battered this spring by pundits calling for him to step aside for prospect Josh Fields. Coming off major back surgery, the White Sox could not find any takers on the trade market, so they were stuck(?) with Crede and forced to send Fields to the minors. But why all the negativity surrounding Joe?
2007 was a washout for the third baseman. Joe broke his back or something and didn’t even reach 150 at bats. But in 2006, his last full year, he was a stud….30 homers, 94 RBI and a decent average, .283.
So far this year, Crede looks like he’s saying ‘bleep you’ to all those naysayers. He’s killing the ball and he’s also giving the White Sox a headache. I’m sure they still want to deal him, but now what is his true value? Aaron Rowand told the Giants brass to trade for Crede in spring training, but the Giants are too cheap. It will now take more than Dan Ortmeier to get him out of Chicago, you can count on that.
I still say good for Joe.
NAY: I’ve got to go back on a yea from last week, because Joe Torre is messing things all up in the Dodgers outfield. The most overrated manager of our generation has created a fantasy quagmire with the trio of Andre Ethier, Juan Pierre and Matt Kemp. Each could make an impact if given a starting job, but with each missing a handful of games every week, who do you start?
They are all too good, so you can’t bail on any of them. You just have to ride it out and hope somebody blows out an achilles. Or we could all just root for Andruw Jones to retire.
YEA: To Rich Harden. Those were two sweet starts Dick. See you in August.
NAY: To all the guys out there like Harden, Howie Kendrick, Cliff Floyd, Rocco Baldelli, Jeremy Hermida, Carl Pavano, Dave Roberts.
Ever think that these guys just don’t want it? That every little ache and pain is just too much to bear. Haven’t these guys ever heard of gutting it out?
Chronic fatigue syndrome. That’s what they say Rocco now has. I think he’s just lazy. Take some stinking vitamins and go get paid to play a game!!!
YEA: To Edwin Jackson. The longtime prospect seems to have finally figured it out and has been lights out so far in Tampa. He showed some flashes last season, but I can almost guarantee the guy is available in your league.
NAY: To my NL only pitching staff. Here is who I left the draft with: Pedro Martinez, Randy Johnson, Chad Billingsley, Tom Gorzelanny, Matt Cain, Hiroki Kuroda, Jair Jurrjens and Edinson Volquez. So far, I’ve gotten 2 wins and 1 quality start out of the bunch. LOSERS!!
YEA: To Keith Foulke. A year after retiring, Foulke has turned into a workhorse for the A’s, appearing in 7 of the teams first 10 games. Last year it was Troy Percival unretiring, this year Foulke….next year I want to see Rod Beck back on the mound. Oh wait…
NAY: To all the people who are predicting the Braves can make a run in the East. Smoltz and Hudson are nice, but 3-5 the Braves have problems. Rafael Soriano is now on the DL. And the lineup, while decent, can’t compare to that of the Mets or Phils. I know all the talking heads want to have Bobby Cox’s baby, but give me a break.
YEA: To A-Rod. Way to come through with that meaningless home run in the 9th inning of a game well in hand off of Hideo Nomo. Yeah, that Hideo Nomo. Who says your stats are hollow? Now go home and massage Derek’s pulled groin.
YEA: To CJ Wilson. How great is it to have a closer get two saves in the same day?
NAY: To Nelson Figueroa. This nay actually belongs to the Mets for having the audacity to put Figueroa in a uniform and on the mound. It’s been four years since Figueroa even sniffed a major league ballpark. He was bad then, so guess what?
YEA: To Pirates manager John Russell. The former Phillies catcher has been playing Ryan Doumit more than Ronny Paulino, which is good for those of us in fantasy. Doumit, as far as catchers go, can be a help, instead of being an albatross like so many others we know (yeah, I’m pointing at you Chris Ianetta).
YEA: To me. I told you before the season started about Dana Eveland. Hope you listened.
NAY: If you are desparate for saves, take a chance on Jason Bulger. He could be the guy getting the opportunities in Anaheim. This is listed as a nay because this is not an official endorsement. I said if you are desparate. The dudes thrown 21 innings total in the big leagues and he’s pushing 30 years old. If you pick him up and he serves up 8 runs in 2/3 of an inning, don’t cry to me. But saves are saves.
YEA: Finally, let’s go out on a good note. Philly sports is alive and thriving. Enjoy it while we can. The Flyers and Sixers are both back in the playoffs and could both make some noise. The Phillies will be in the hunt all year, despite the efforts of Kyle Kendrick and Jamie Moyer. And the Eagles have a big draft coming up. It’s rare that you can talk about all four sports at once, but for the next couple weeks we can. Live it up.
Okay, test time.
What big time college basketball coach said this about his team’s free throw shooting problems in mid-March?
“It’s not something we spend a lot of time with.”
John Calipari learned a bitter lesson this week when his team gave away the national championship, because they couldn’t make a foul shot.
Calipari kind of reminds me of that mom you hear about who gets busted for providing beer to her 14 year old son and his friends. She wants to be the cool mom, not the mom who makes her kid do the stuff he’s supposed to.
Rather than have his team actually work on free throw shooting, Calipari chose to ignore the problem and assume it would never bite him in the butt.
We really didn’t need Calipari to tell us his team didn’t spend a lot of time with free throws. The entire world saw it on Monday night.
Mario Chalmers’ game tying three at the end of regulation was a terrific shot, but I won’t remember it the way I remember Keith Smart’s winning shot for Indiana. Or the play at the end of the NC State win over Houston.
This game will be remembered for the Memphis collapse. Not only at the free throw line, but for the brainfart that allowed Chalmers to even attempt the three. Memphis could have fouled, forcing Kansas to the line to shoot just two free throws, eliminating any chance of a tie.
Argue it all you want, but the Tigers choked. Put this one in the books with Chris Webber calling a timeout when he didn’t have any left. The game was lost, rather than one.
On a completely different note, isn’t it amazing how much fun history is when you get to watch it on television compared to sitting in a classroom listening to Mr. Weinberg? I couldn’t give a rat’s bum about John Adams until the HBO mini-series came about. Now I want to start wearing a powdered wig and I’m not even going bald.
How about that Ben Franklin. What a giant a**. Who knew that? I always wondered how a guy got to be on the hundred dollar bill, but didn’t get to be President.
Sure, he tied a key to a kite string and figured out something about electricity…blah, blah, blah. I discovered the same thing when I was 6 and I stuck my tongue in an electrical socket.
Ben did set the mold for the modern day politician. And if you think that is a good thing, you are a nincompoop.
Next time I see him roaming the streets of Philadelphia, I think I’ll give him a kick in the groin. I don’t care if it’s just an actor….he deserves it.
And three cheers for modern medicine, because my delicate sensibilities would not have been able to handle the whole pox thing. I feel bad for the actor who played the patient in the back of the doctor’s cart. His resume must read:
Mike Smith got his big break by appearing in ‘John Adams’ as the guy infected with the pox who had infected puss scraped from his open sores.
They could have at least thrown the guy a bone and given him a line….like ‘Am I getting paid for this?’ or ‘Can’t we find a less disgusting way to cure people?’
On to the weekly Yea or Nay.
YEA: To my man Joe Crede. Joe has been bruised and battered this spring by pundits calling for him to step aside for prospect Josh Fields. Coming off major back surgery, the White Sox could not find any takers on the trade market, so they were stuck(?) with Crede and forced to send Fields to the minors. But why all the negativity surrounding Joe?
2007 was a washout for the third baseman. Joe broke his back or something and didn’t even reach 150 at bats. But in 2006, his last full year, he was a stud….30 homers, 94 RBI and a decent average, .283.
So far this year, Crede looks like he’s saying ‘bleep you’ to all those naysayers. He’s killing the ball and he’s also giving the White Sox a headache. I’m sure they still want to deal him, but now what is his true value? Aaron Rowand told the Giants brass to trade for Crede in spring training, but the Giants are too cheap. It will now take more than Dan Ortmeier to get him out of Chicago, you can count on that.
I still say good for Joe.
NAY: I’ve got to go back on a yea from last week, because Joe Torre is messing things all up in the Dodgers outfield. The most overrated manager of our generation has created a fantasy quagmire with the trio of Andre Ethier, Juan Pierre and Matt Kemp. Each could make an impact if given a starting job, but with each missing a handful of games every week, who do you start?
They are all too good, so you can’t bail on any of them. You just have to ride it out and hope somebody blows out an achilles. Or we could all just root for Andruw Jones to retire.
YEA: To Rich Harden. Those were two sweet starts Dick. See you in August.
NAY: To all the guys out there like Harden, Howie Kendrick, Cliff Floyd, Rocco Baldelli, Jeremy Hermida, Carl Pavano, Dave Roberts.
Ever think that these guys just don’t want it? That every little ache and pain is just too much to bear. Haven’t these guys ever heard of gutting it out?
Chronic fatigue syndrome. That’s what they say Rocco now has. I think he’s just lazy. Take some stinking vitamins and go get paid to play a game!!!
YEA: To Edwin Jackson. The longtime prospect seems to have finally figured it out and has been lights out so far in Tampa. He showed some flashes last season, but I can almost guarantee the guy is available in your league.
NAY: To my NL only pitching staff. Here is who I left the draft with: Pedro Martinez, Randy Johnson, Chad Billingsley, Tom Gorzelanny, Matt Cain, Hiroki Kuroda, Jair Jurrjens and Edinson Volquez. So far, I’ve gotten 2 wins and 1 quality start out of the bunch. LOSERS!!
YEA: To Keith Foulke. A year after retiring, Foulke has turned into a workhorse for the A’s, appearing in 7 of the teams first 10 games. Last year it was Troy Percival unretiring, this year Foulke….next year I want to see Rod Beck back on the mound. Oh wait…
NAY: To all the people who are predicting the Braves can make a run in the East. Smoltz and Hudson are nice, but 3-5 the Braves have problems. Rafael Soriano is now on the DL. And the lineup, while decent, can’t compare to that of the Mets or Phils. I know all the talking heads want to have Bobby Cox’s baby, but give me a break.
YEA: To A-Rod. Way to come through with that meaningless home run in the 9th inning of a game well in hand off of Hideo Nomo. Yeah, that Hideo Nomo. Who says your stats are hollow? Now go home and massage Derek’s pulled groin.
YEA: To CJ Wilson. How great is it to have a closer get two saves in the same day?
NAY: To Nelson Figueroa. This nay actually belongs to the Mets for having the audacity to put Figueroa in a uniform and on the mound. It’s been four years since Figueroa even sniffed a major league ballpark. He was bad then, so guess what?
YEA: To Pirates manager John Russell. The former Phillies catcher has been playing Ryan Doumit more than Ronny Paulino, which is good for those of us in fantasy. Doumit, as far as catchers go, can be a help, instead of being an albatross like so many others we know (yeah, I’m pointing at you Chris Ianetta).
YEA: To me. I told you before the season started about Dana Eveland. Hope you listened.
NAY: If you are desparate for saves, take a chance on Jason Bulger. He could be the guy getting the opportunities in Anaheim. This is listed as a nay because this is not an official endorsement. I said if you are desparate. The dudes thrown 21 innings total in the big leagues and he’s pushing 30 years old. If you pick him up and he serves up 8 runs in 2/3 of an inning, don’t cry to me. But saves are saves.
YEA: Finally, let’s go out on a good note. Philly sports is alive and thriving. Enjoy it while we can. The Flyers and Sixers are both back in the playoffs and could both make some noise. The Phillies will be in the hunt all year, despite the efforts of Kyle Kendrick and Jamie Moyer. And the Eagles have a big draft coming up. It’s rare that you can talk about all four sports at once, but for the next couple weeks we can. Live it up.
Monday, April 7, 2008
WEEK 2 STUFF TO KNOW
First, before I get to the baseball, I want to offer a giant ‘mea culpa’ regarding “The Ruins”. I’m ashamed of what they did to the book. Hope you didn’t waste your money like I did on the movie. Why is Hollywood so dumb?
Second, I had to relay something that I encountered at a McDonalds this weekend, which left me laughing my hindquarters off.
I was enjoying my usual cheeseburger happy meal, when I happened to pick up the box it comes in and started to read the fine print on the contest. Here is how it reads, word for word. Remember, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
‘No purchase necessary. Many will play, only 15 will win. Open to residents of the U.S., Canada (excluding Quebec) and other markets as defined in the rules. Game begins March 14, 2008 and ends April 10, 2008. To win, a Canadian resident must correctly answer a skill-testing question.’
Talk about stacking the deck against Canadians! First, those from Quebec are banned altogether. Then, if you somehow manage to defy the ridiculous odds and win a trip to Disney World, you then would have to sit down and take an exam just to collect your prize.
As you should all know, I’m not much of a fan of our friends from the Great White North. But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to visit the happiest place on earth, does it?
By the way, the next happy meal is going to be based on American Idol. I hope to get some of Paula’s prescriptions as my toy.
Well, week one is in the books. Hopefully you’re teams have not been too decimated by injuries. It’s only one week, but you should be able to identify your needs, even after just seven days. Especially in head to head leagues. Roto leagues have a little more leeway.
I was decimated in my mixed league head to head, losing 1-8-1. I lost all five pitching categories, mainly thanks to my relievers. Manny Corpas, Eric Gagne and Matt Capps all got hammered in week 1, ballooning my ERA over 5 for the week.
But there are plenty of good finds out there, waiting to be had. Here are some you should pounce on, if they are still available in your league. Remember, your draft is important, but you’re not going to win if you don’t get some steals off the waiver wire throughout the season.
Jeff Keppinger-SS-Reds-It’s a no brainer that Keppinger should be in your NL only starting lineup, but if he keeps hitting like in week 1, he might be mixed league worthy as well. Keppinger smacked two homers, drove in 4 and stole a base in his first 6 games. Oh yeah, he also hit over .400! Alex Gonzalez who?
Dana Eveland-SP-A’s-Eveland has been a prospect for a long time, bouncing from the Brewers, to the D-Backs, and now to the A’s. This spring he seemed to put it together and in his first start, the train kept rolling. You might have missed it, since it was late Saturday night, but Eveland struck out 7 over 7 innings, giving up just 1 run in a win over CC Sabathia and the Indians. The 24 year old lefty could be one of this years finds.
Nate McLouth-CF-Pirates-There’s no way Nate should be available in any of your leagues, but if he is, consider yourself lucky. McLouth was dynamite the last 3 months of 2007 and he is proving it wasn’t a fluke. Just because he plays for the Pirates doesn’t mean you should ignore him. He’s leading off, hitting over .400 and stealing bases. Plus, he could get you 20 homers as a bonus.
Edinson Volquez-SP-Reds-Everyone is talking about Johnny Cueto, but I was just as impressed with Volquez. He’s likely still available in your league, but if he keeps pitching like he did in start number one, he won’t be a free agent for long. Volquez is another longtime prospect who the Rangers dealt to Cincy for Josh Hamilton. Edinson could join with Cueto to carry the Reds as this year’s surprise team.
Jeremy Accardo-RP-Blue Jays-I know there is no way Accardo is still available in your league, but I had to mention him because his stuff is so filthy. Since taking over as closer last year, Accardo has gone 33 of 38 in save opportunities. I just don’t see how the Jays can justify removing him completely from the closer position, even when BJ Ryan returns. Everyone was going ga-ga over Ryan at this year’s draft, while Accardo slipped to the final rounds. Nice work if you grabbed him.
Jack Wilson-SS-Pirates-Hopefully you don’t have Wilson as your starting shortstop. If you do, it had better be a very deep NL only league. Wilson is on the DL with a strained calf and the Bucs have recalled propect Brian Bixler to start in his place. If you are looking for a stopgap, here he is.
Brandon Backe-SP-Astros-I liked Backe heading into the season, mainly because he was flying way under the radar. Injuries have sidetracked his career, but he seems finally back at full strength this year and the Astros can still score runs. Backe has had two decent starts already. He’s not somebody who will serve as an ace, but in NL only leagues, he’s a solid start.
Boof Bonser-SP-Twins-According to the Twins, Bonser stepped up his offseason conditioning and started to take his career seriously this winter. A 5.10 ERA will do that to you. Bonser is in his third year and could be a breakout. Through two starts, he has yet to issue a walk, something that was a major issue to the Boofster in the past. He’s a definite for those of you in AL only leagues. Keep an eye on him, because he strikes out enough guys to possibly warrant mixed league ownership if he keeps the ball in the yard.
Kevin Millwood-SP-Rangers-Through two starts, he hasn’t been terrible. That’s saying a lot for the former Phil. Remember, it was just 2005 when Millwood had an ERA under 3 for the Indians. He has the ability, but just doesn’t seem to have the drive. Maybe his wife smacked him around this winter and told him to pull his head out of his ass. I’d wait one more start, which will be against Toronto this weekend. If he’s solid again, take the risk.
Dioner Navarro-C-Rays-As if the catching pool wasn’t thin enough. Navarro sliced his hand open trying to catch a foul pop against the Yankees over the weekend. Shawn Riggins will be the beneficiary, as he now starts for Tampa. If you’re desperate, there you go. Don’t dump out on Navarro, either. He should be back in 15 days and he’s a definite sleeper at a very shallow position.
Mark Lowe-RP-Mariners-Lowe is the guy, but the Mariners have to be worried. Lowe blew his first save opportunity against the lowly Orioles. Lowe has a total of 22 innings worth of experience in the majors, so I don’t really compute how he is their best option at closing. If JJ Putz is able to come back in 15 days, the Mariners will probably just bite the bullet and ride Lowe. If Putz is going to be out longer, don’t expect Lowe to hold onto the job. Keep an eye on the transaction reports….if Brandon Morrow gets recalled, GO GET HIM!
Wes Helms-3B-Marlins-Yes, somebody actually gave Wes Helms a job. The Phillies finally found a home for Helms, which should tell you something about the state the Marlins are in. The fish gave up cash consideration for Helms, which Pat Gillick promptly spent buying a gallon of milk. Helms could actually start in Florida…all that stands in his way is Jorge Cantu. Can you believe this team has won two World Series the past decade?
Second, I had to relay something that I encountered at a McDonalds this weekend, which left me laughing my hindquarters off.
I was enjoying my usual cheeseburger happy meal, when I happened to pick up the box it comes in and started to read the fine print on the contest. Here is how it reads, word for word. Remember, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
‘No purchase necessary. Many will play, only 15 will win. Open to residents of the U.S., Canada (excluding Quebec) and other markets as defined in the rules. Game begins March 14, 2008 and ends April 10, 2008. To win, a Canadian resident must correctly answer a skill-testing question.’
Talk about stacking the deck against Canadians! First, those from Quebec are banned altogether. Then, if you somehow manage to defy the ridiculous odds and win a trip to Disney World, you then would have to sit down and take an exam just to collect your prize.
As you should all know, I’m not much of a fan of our friends from the Great White North. But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to visit the happiest place on earth, does it?
By the way, the next happy meal is going to be based on American Idol. I hope to get some of Paula’s prescriptions as my toy.
Well, week one is in the books. Hopefully you’re teams have not been too decimated by injuries. It’s only one week, but you should be able to identify your needs, even after just seven days. Especially in head to head leagues. Roto leagues have a little more leeway.
I was decimated in my mixed league head to head, losing 1-8-1. I lost all five pitching categories, mainly thanks to my relievers. Manny Corpas, Eric Gagne and Matt Capps all got hammered in week 1, ballooning my ERA over 5 for the week.
But there are plenty of good finds out there, waiting to be had. Here are some you should pounce on, if they are still available in your league. Remember, your draft is important, but you’re not going to win if you don’t get some steals off the waiver wire throughout the season.
Jeff Keppinger-SS-Reds-It’s a no brainer that Keppinger should be in your NL only starting lineup, but if he keeps hitting like in week 1, he might be mixed league worthy as well. Keppinger smacked two homers, drove in 4 and stole a base in his first 6 games. Oh yeah, he also hit over .400! Alex Gonzalez who?
Dana Eveland-SP-A’s-Eveland has been a prospect for a long time, bouncing from the Brewers, to the D-Backs, and now to the A’s. This spring he seemed to put it together and in his first start, the train kept rolling. You might have missed it, since it was late Saturday night, but Eveland struck out 7 over 7 innings, giving up just 1 run in a win over CC Sabathia and the Indians. The 24 year old lefty could be one of this years finds.
Nate McLouth-CF-Pirates-There’s no way Nate should be available in any of your leagues, but if he is, consider yourself lucky. McLouth was dynamite the last 3 months of 2007 and he is proving it wasn’t a fluke. Just because he plays for the Pirates doesn’t mean you should ignore him. He’s leading off, hitting over .400 and stealing bases. Plus, he could get you 20 homers as a bonus.
Edinson Volquez-SP-Reds-Everyone is talking about Johnny Cueto, but I was just as impressed with Volquez. He’s likely still available in your league, but if he keeps pitching like he did in start number one, he won’t be a free agent for long. Volquez is another longtime prospect who the Rangers dealt to Cincy for Josh Hamilton. Edinson could join with Cueto to carry the Reds as this year’s surprise team.
Jeremy Accardo-RP-Blue Jays-I know there is no way Accardo is still available in your league, but I had to mention him because his stuff is so filthy. Since taking over as closer last year, Accardo has gone 33 of 38 in save opportunities. I just don’t see how the Jays can justify removing him completely from the closer position, even when BJ Ryan returns. Everyone was going ga-ga over Ryan at this year’s draft, while Accardo slipped to the final rounds. Nice work if you grabbed him.
Jack Wilson-SS-Pirates-Hopefully you don’t have Wilson as your starting shortstop. If you do, it had better be a very deep NL only league. Wilson is on the DL with a strained calf and the Bucs have recalled propect Brian Bixler to start in his place. If you are looking for a stopgap, here he is.
Brandon Backe-SP-Astros-I liked Backe heading into the season, mainly because he was flying way under the radar. Injuries have sidetracked his career, but he seems finally back at full strength this year and the Astros can still score runs. Backe has had two decent starts already. He’s not somebody who will serve as an ace, but in NL only leagues, he’s a solid start.
Boof Bonser-SP-Twins-According to the Twins, Bonser stepped up his offseason conditioning and started to take his career seriously this winter. A 5.10 ERA will do that to you. Bonser is in his third year and could be a breakout. Through two starts, he has yet to issue a walk, something that was a major issue to the Boofster in the past. He’s a definite for those of you in AL only leagues. Keep an eye on him, because he strikes out enough guys to possibly warrant mixed league ownership if he keeps the ball in the yard.
Kevin Millwood-SP-Rangers-Through two starts, he hasn’t been terrible. That’s saying a lot for the former Phil. Remember, it was just 2005 when Millwood had an ERA under 3 for the Indians. He has the ability, but just doesn’t seem to have the drive. Maybe his wife smacked him around this winter and told him to pull his head out of his ass. I’d wait one more start, which will be against Toronto this weekend. If he’s solid again, take the risk.
Dioner Navarro-C-Rays-As if the catching pool wasn’t thin enough. Navarro sliced his hand open trying to catch a foul pop against the Yankees over the weekend. Shawn Riggins will be the beneficiary, as he now starts for Tampa. If you’re desperate, there you go. Don’t dump out on Navarro, either. He should be back in 15 days and he’s a definite sleeper at a very shallow position.
Mark Lowe-RP-Mariners-Lowe is the guy, but the Mariners have to be worried. Lowe blew his first save opportunity against the lowly Orioles. Lowe has a total of 22 innings worth of experience in the majors, so I don’t really compute how he is their best option at closing. If JJ Putz is able to come back in 15 days, the Mariners will probably just bite the bullet and ride Lowe. If Putz is going to be out longer, don’t expect Lowe to hold onto the job. Keep an eye on the transaction reports….if Brandon Morrow gets recalled, GO GET HIM!
Wes Helms-3B-Marlins-Yes, somebody actually gave Wes Helms a job. The Phillies finally found a home for Helms, which should tell you something about the state the Marlins are in. The fish gave up cash consideration for Helms, which Pat Gillick promptly spent buying a gallon of milk. Helms could actually start in Florida…all that stands in his way is Jorge Cantu. Can you believe this team has won two World Series the past decade?
Friday, April 4, 2008
YEA OR NAY
Welcome to the first edition of yea or nay. Every Friday I’ll opine on some of the week’s best and worst, giving players, coaches, team’s either a yea or a nay. Pretty simple, right?
One note before we begin. I turn 35 this Saturday and I’m at the point where I don’t really need a birthday present. If I want something, I’m old enough to go and get it. I’m not going to wait for my birthday.
But my wife keeps pestering me and asking what I would want, so finally I tell her that I’ve been wanting to sign up for NetFlix. I suggest to her that she signs me up and queues up some movies that I would like. Surprise me, I tell her.
So she did it and I received my first movie the other day. I was very excited and I tore open the packaging and found…..
License to Wed.
Oh my god.
Now, I’m not the best at remembering things. Most times by accident, sometimes on purpose. But I know for a fact that these words never crossed my lips.
“You know, that License to Wed Movie looks pretty awesome.”
There are two ways to look at this conundrum. Either, after nearly 11 years of marriage, my wife has no idea who I am. Or, after nearly 11 years of marriage, she is fed up with watching movies I like and is taking matters into her own hands. She’s sat through Roadhouse approximately 39 times, to the point where she can actually recite Dalton’s dialogue.
Whatever the case may be, I immediately demanded the password for our account and remedied our queue list. Across the Universe was on deck, so it’s a good thing I did. I Am Legend, I eagerly await your arrival.
One other movie note before the baseball. The Ruins comes out this weekend and in case you haven’t read the Scott Smith novel, I advise you to be prepared. The book was terrific, but it was extremely graphic. And that was just using words. While reading it, I cringed thinking what it would look like on the big screen. If the director stays true to the novel, this will be one hell of a movie with some truly gnarly scenes. Go see it. Baby, we’ll go see your movie next time, I swear.
Let’s do it.
YEA! This isn’t baseball, but I had to reiterate possibly the funniest thing I’ve heard in YEARS! Last week, Isiah Thomas was quoted as saying that he had NOT been contacted to possibly be the next head coach at Indiana. Now that is a shocker.
Isiah actually felt compelled to tell people this. If Indiana was smart, they would have issued a press release immediately following this stating “We unequivocally have not even thought about contacting Isiah Thomas about being our new head basketball coach. In fact, we’d appreciate it if Mr. Thomas would stop mentioning our University altogether.”
YEA! To the most overrated manager of our generation, Joe Torre. The new skipper has already put his stamp on the Dodgers by saying to heck with one dimensional Juan Pierre. The fact of the matter is Juan steals bases but nothing else. Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp have much more to offer. Torre is one of the few managers who can get away with benching a guy who is making 7.5 million dollars. But Ethier and Kemp are ready. Pierre will get 2 maybe 3 starts a week and will be the main bat off the bench. Hopefully, Joe sticks by his young guns.
NAY! To Joe Torre. I never heard of a situation like the one that occurred Wednesday night in Los Angeles. Rain was in the forecast, so the Dodgers decided not to start Chad Billingsley. How does this conversation go?
“Chad, it’s raining, windy, cold….I’d hate to see you go out and get hurt trying to pitch in this kind of weather. Hey Hong-Chih! Get your ass on the mound. Game starts in 15 minutes.”
So they coddle Billingsley, only to then throw him on the mound anyway in the fifth inning. And you know what happened? It started to rain again and Billingsley faced three batters before the game was delayed. If you are in a head to head league and that was your start from Billingsley for the week, you know where to send your hate mail.
YEA! To those of us who drafted Reds young stud Johnny Cueto. Cueto dominated in spring training and kept on rolling in his first start of the regular season. The 22 year old was perfect through 5 innings and finished giving up just one hit over seven innings, while striking out 10!!!
Here is the most important thing to note. Cueto might be a great find all year long, but his stock will never be higher. The chances of him piecing together another outing like this are minimal. If you can get a great deal for him now, do it. Don’t wait until he gives up 5 runs in 3 innings against the Brewers. I’m not saying to give him away, but definitely put him out there and see what kind of bites you get.
NAY! To the Detroit Tigers. The best offense since Murderer’s Row better get off their high horse. Just because you have an amazing lineup doesn’t mean pitchers are going to be throwing BP when they face you. 5 runs in three games against the Royals is pretty embarrassing. If there is any manager who can scare a team into hitting, it’s Jim Leyland. They looked pretty awful getting swept three games at home, but fantasywise, you might want to swoop. This won’t happen again.
YEA! To Jorge Posada. Now that he’s got his fat contract in pocket, there’s no harm in taking a couple days off when he’s got a boo-boo. I’ve always hated Posada, with a burning passion. I’m not surprised one bit that he’s pulling this stunt.
NAY! To Gary Sheffield. Torn tendon in your finger, ouch. Have you ever tried to grip a baseball bat with 9 fingers? It’s not easy. I don’t see this ending well.
YEA! To speedsters Michael Bourn and Carlos Gomez. Both guys are getting full time at bats for the first time in their careers. They might not combine to hit 10 homers this year, but they are both leading off and are both going to run a whole lot. I could see 40 steals from both.
NAY! To all the closers. April is always a particularly tough month for closers. You need to consider that in spring training, most of these guys only get to pitch 7 or 8 innings. For the first month of the season, things can be pretty batty.
In the first three days of the season, Eric Gagne, Kerry Wood, JJ Putz, Trevor Hoffman, Brandon Lyon, Tom Gordon, Matt Capps, and Huston Street all got knocked around.
Chad Cordero didn’t even get the opportunity to get busted up before he got injured.
All this does is reinforce the fact that you cannot, must not, spend early on closers in your drafts. There are plenty of saves to go around. Spend your money elsewhere.
YEA! To Mike Napoli. Two homers in his first three games. Napoli has always hit and I even compared him to a poor mans Russell Martin, because he can steal the occasional base as well. Napoli just hasn’t been able to stay healthy. He started all three games of the Twins series and any threat from Jeff Mathis seems to have gone by the wayside.
NAY! To the Phillies for getting one hit by Tim Redding and some National schlubs. You guys should be ashamed. Just once, could you guys get off to a decent start? JUST ONCE!!
Kudos to the Phils for coming back against the Nats on Thursday, despite the best efforts of Jamie Moyer. I know the Phils had 4 errors, but I think Moyer is officially cooked. It’s been a nice run old man. Now beat it.
YEA! To my Mt. Laurel girls T-Ball squad. We haven’t had a game yet, but we look kick ass in practice. I’ve just got to teach 3 or 4 of them where first base is and then we’ll be ready to roll.
NAY! To Mike Hampton. Or, more appropriately, to anyone who drafted him. He’s the National League equivalent of Carl Pavano. The guy hasn’t pitched in 3 years. He finally gets to the mound and is getting ready to make a triumphant return from a gazillion arm surgeries and….he strains a pec. You should be ashamed if you drafted him. He’s back on the DL. Good riddance.
YEA! To Alex Gordon. Three games, two homers. What you saw in the second half of last season was just the beginning. Big stuff on the horizon.
YEA! To Jerry Owens. It sounds like the speedy center fielder for the White Sox might be back sooner than expected. Chances are he went undrafted in your league. Go pick him up right now, if you have the room on your bench for a couple weeks. You’ll thank me later.
NAY! To the San Francisco Giants. I can’t really comprehend what they are doing out there. You spend a ton of money on Aaron Rowand. A ton on Barry Zito the year before. Why even bother? Brian Bocock is your starting shortstop. Think about that for a minute. Brian Bocock. Jose Castillo is the best they can come up with at third. That’s the Jose Castillo who hit as many home runs as I did last year. He did it for the Pirates…I did it in my dreams.
And finally…
YEA! To Chuck E. Cheeses. My son is having his fourth birthday party there this weekend. His birthday is Friday, mine is Saturday. I’m looking forward to gorging myself on pizza and then playing massive amounts of skee-ball. My goal is to come home with a whoopee cushion and one of those Chinese finger trap thingies. Wish me luck!!
Happy Birthday Owen!
One note before we begin. I turn 35 this Saturday and I’m at the point where I don’t really need a birthday present. If I want something, I’m old enough to go and get it. I’m not going to wait for my birthday.
But my wife keeps pestering me and asking what I would want, so finally I tell her that I’ve been wanting to sign up for NetFlix. I suggest to her that she signs me up and queues up some movies that I would like. Surprise me, I tell her.
So she did it and I received my first movie the other day. I was very excited and I tore open the packaging and found…..
License to Wed.
Oh my god.
Now, I’m not the best at remembering things. Most times by accident, sometimes on purpose. But I know for a fact that these words never crossed my lips.
“You know, that License to Wed Movie looks pretty awesome.”
There are two ways to look at this conundrum. Either, after nearly 11 years of marriage, my wife has no idea who I am. Or, after nearly 11 years of marriage, she is fed up with watching movies I like and is taking matters into her own hands. She’s sat through Roadhouse approximately 39 times, to the point where she can actually recite Dalton’s dialogue.
Whatever the case may be, I immediately demanded the password for our account and remedied our queue list. Across the Universe was on deck, so it’s a good thing I did. I Am Legend, I eagerly await your arrival.
One other movie note before the baseball. The Ruins comes out this weekend and in case you haven’t read the Scott Smith novel, I advise you to be prepared. The book was terrific, but it was extremely graphic. And that was just using words. While reading it, I cringed thinking what it would look like on the big screen. If the director stays true to the novel, this will be one hell of a movie with some truly gnarly scenes. Go see it. Baby, we’ll go see your movie next time, I swear.
Let’s do it.
YEA! This isn’t baseball, but I had to reiterate possibly the funniest thing I’ve heard in YEARS! Last week, Isiah Thomas was quoted as saying that he had NOT been contacted to possibly be the next head coach at Indiana. Now that is a shocker.
Isiah actually felt compelled to tell people this. If Indiana was smart, they would have issued a press release immediately following this stating “We unequivocally have not even thought about contacting Isiah Thomas about being our new head basketball coach. In fact, we’d appreciate it if Mr. Thomas would stop mentioning our University altogether.”
YEA! To the most overrated manager of our generation, Joe Torre. The new skipper has already put his stamp on the Dodgers by saying to heck with one dimensional Juan Pierre. The fact of the matter is Juan steals bases but nothing else. Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp have much more to offer. Torre is one of the few managers who can get away with benching a guy who is making 7.5 million dollars. But Ethier and Kemp are ready. Pierre will get 2 maybe 3 starts a week and will be the main bat off the bench. Hopefully, Joe sticks by his young guns.
NAY! To Joe Torre. I never heard of a situation like the one that occurred Wednesday night in Los Angeles. Rain was in the forecast, so the Dodgers decided not to start Chad Billingsley. How does this conversation go?
“Chad, it’s raining, windy, cold….I’d hate to see you go out and get hurt trying to pitch in this kind of weather. Hey Hong-Chih! Get your ass on the mound. Game starts in 15 minutes.”
So they coddle Billingsley, only to then throw him on the mound anyway in the fifth inning. And you know what happened? It started to rain again and Billingsley faced three batters before the game was delayed. If you are in a head to head league and that was your start from Billingsley for the week, you know where to send your hate mail.
YEA! To those of us who drafted Reds young stud Johnny Cueto. Cueto dominated in spring training and kept on rolling in his first start of the regular season. The 22 year old was perfect through 5 innings and finished giving up just one hit over seven innings, while striking out 10!!!
Here is the most important thing to note. Cueto might be a great find all year long, but his stock will never be higher. The chances of him piecing together another outing like this are minimal. If you can get a great deal for him now, do it. Don’t wait until he gives up 5 runs in 3 innings against the Brewers. I’m not saying to give him away, but definitely put him out there and see what kind of bites you get.
NAY! To the Detroit Tigers. The best offense since Murderer’s Row better get off their high horse. Just because you have an amazing lineup doesn’t mean pitchers are going to be throwing BP when they face you. 5 runs in three games against the Royals is pretty embarrassing. If there is any manager who can scare a team into hitting, it’s Jim Leyland. They looked pretty awful getting swept three games at home, but fantasywise, you might want to swoop. This won’t happen again.
YEA! To Jorge Posada. Now that he’s got his fat contract in pocket, there’s no harm in taking a couple days off when he’s got a boo-boo. I’ve always hated Posada, with a burning passion. I’m not surprised one bit that he’s pulling this stunt.
NAY! To Gary Sheffield. Torn tendon in your finger, ouch. Have you ever tried to grip a baseball bat with 9 fingers? It’s not easy. I don’t see this ending well.
YEA! To speedsters Michael Bourn and Carlos Gomez. Both guys are getting full time at bats for the first time in their careers. They might not combine to hit 10 homers this year, but they are both leading off and are both going to run a whole lot. I could see 40 steals from both.
NAY! To all the closers. April is always a particularly tough month for closers. You need to consider that in spring training, most of these guys only get to pitch 7 or 8 innings. For the first month of the season, things can be pretty batty.
In the first three days of the season, Eric Gagne, Kerry Wood, JJ Putz, Trevor Hoffman, Brandon Lyon, Tom Gordon, Matt Capps, and Huston Street all got knocked around.
Chad Cordero didn’t even get the opportunity to get busted up before he got injured.
All this does is reinforce the fact that you cannot, must not, spend early on closers in your drafts. There are plenty of saves to go around. Spend your money elsewhere.
YEA! To Mike Napoli. Two homers in his first three games. Napoli has always hit and I even compared him to a poor mans Russell Martin, because he can steal the occasional base as well. Napoli just hasn’t been able to stay healthy. He started all three games of the Twins series and any threat from Jeff Mathis seems to have gone by the wayside.
NAY! To the Phillies for getting one hit by Tim Redding and some National schlubs. You guys should be ashamed. Just once, could you guys get off to a decent start? JUST ONCE!!
Kudos to the Phils for coming back against the Nats on Thursday, despite the best efforts of Jamie Moyer. I know the Phils had 4 errors, but I think Moyer is officially cooked. It’s been a nice run old man. Now beat it.
YEA! To my Mt. Laurel girls T-Ball squad. We haven’t had a game yet, but we look kick ass in practice. I’ve just got to teach 3 or 4 of them where first base is and then we’ll be ready to roll.
NAY! To Mike Hampton. Or, more appropriately, to anyone who drafted him. He’s the National League equivalent of Carl Pavano. The guy hasn’t pitched in 3 years. He finally gets to the mound and is getting ready to make a triumphant return from a gazillion arm surgeries and….he strains a pec. You should be ashamed if you drafted him. He’s back on the DL. Good riddance.
YEA! To Alex Gordon. Three games, two homers. What you saw in the second half of last season was just the beginning. Big stuff on the horizon.
YEA! To Jerry Owens. It sounds like the speedy center fielder for the White Sox might be back sooner than expected. Chances are he went undrafted in your league. Go pick him up right now, if you have the room on your bench for a couple weeks. You’ll thank me later.
NAY! To the San Francisco Giants. I can’t really comprehend what they are doing out there. You spend a ton of money on Aaron Rowand. A ton on Barry Zito the year before. Why even bother? Brian Bocock is your starting shortstop. Think about that for a minute. Brian Bocock. Jose Castillo is the best they can come up with at third. That’s the Jose Castillo who hit as many home runs as I did last year. He did it for the Pirates…I did it in my dreams.
And finally…
YEA! To Chuck E. Cheeses. My son is having his fourth birthday party there this weekend. His birthday is Friday, mine is Saturday. I’m looking forward to gorging myself on pizza and then playing massive amounts of skee-ball. My goal is to come home with a whoopee cushion and one of those Chinese finger trap thingies. Wish me luck!!
Happy Birthday Owen!
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