YEA OR NAY FOR APRIL 25TH

So the other night, I’m sitting and watching the masterpiece that is ‘Robocop’ when a number of pertinent questions pop into my head.

Why is the dad from ‘That 70’s Show’ cast as the lead bad guy/cop killer? Funny thing is, he’s scarier on the TV show than he is as a drug dealing sociopath.

How can only one police officer in the entire department realize that Robocop is their former partner Officer Murphy? Even I can tell and I never worked with the guy.

How can the evil company OCP build a billion dollar robot that is supposed to catch criminals, but neglect to design it so it can walk down stairs? Seriously, I could get away from that thing and I’m slower than Steve Balboni.

If I drove my truck into a vat of toxic waste, would I turn into a mutant zombie like happened to the one bad guy? I’m oddly tempted to try it and find out.

Can you believe that they actually made 2 sequels to the original and the third installment had more famous people in it than the first two? Rip Torn, Jeff Garlin, Bradley Whitford and Jill Hennessy. Shame on you all. You should all have your SAG cards pulled.

Loads of fantasy stuff to get to. I just had to get that off my chest.

YEA: Holy cow, what the heck happened to Cliff Lee. I’m sure you know he has gotten off to a hot start, but you might not realize just how hot. Check out these numbers: 4 starts, 4 wins, 31 2/3 IP, 11 hits, 2 walks, 1 earned run, 29 strikeouts. His ERA stands at 0.28, his WHIP 0.41. Words cannot describe how amazing he has been.

NAY: To Ryan Howard. Tim Kurkjian came out with an amazing stat the other day. Ryan Howard is on pace to strike out more times in April than Joe DiMaggio ever did over an entire season. Joe D’s high was 39 strikeouts in one year. Ryan Howard has struck out 32 times already this month, with 5 games to go.

YEA: To Manny Acosta. Acosta has been lights out since being anointed Braves closer. The move, of course, was by default due to Rafael Soriano’s injury. But if he keeps this up, maybe he’ll keep the job. Soriano has never been a full time closer and he might be better suited to be the setup guy. Plus, his injury history is a long one.

NAY: To Alex Gordon’s neck. Have you seen his snapshot? His neck is wider than his head. If you don’t believe me, take a look for yourself.

YEA: To CC Sabathia. Congrats on getting your first win of the year! All it took was an outing against the Royals and your lineup scoring 15 runs, but a win is a win. Amazing how some guys flourish when facing free agency while others flounder. Sabathia stands to make tens of millions of dollars this offseason. But after the Barry Zito debacle, teams are going to make sure they’ve got a sure thing before they throw that kind of money at a pitcher. Each poor start by CC cuts into his potential earnings.

NAY: To Kenny Rogers. If you’re team scores 19 runs for you, you’ve got to get the win. If you’ve still got Rogers on your fantasy squad, you are kidding yourself. He’s cooked.

YEA: To leagues with single game eligibility. If you are in such a league and own Albert Pujols, you are very happy this week. Albert played an inning at second base the other night and I know I could sure live with a second sacker who will hit .330-40-120.

NAY: To Delmon Young. Is it just me or does this guy just seem to do a whole lot of nothing?

YEA: To Pac-Man Jones. It’s a great week to be a Cowboys hater. Am I the only one who sees an eerie resemblance between Pac-Man and Jerry Jones? Crazy eyes, a penchant for strip clubs, both absolutely reprehensible human beings, same last name. Can you say ‘lovechild’?

NAY: To Franklin Gutierrez. On opening day, Franklin homered and drove in 3. Since, he has hit zero homers and driven in just 5.

YEA: To the new ‘Speedracer’ movie. It looks like it was directed by an epileptic on a tilt a whirl. Hooray!

NAY: To last year’s rookie trio of Hunter Pence, Troy Tulowitzki and Ryan Braun. Sophomore slumps or has the book been written on them? They’ve combined this month to hit 5 homers and drive in 33, roughly the equivalent of Pat Burrell.

YEA: Speak of the devil. Since last year’s All-Star Break, Burrell has gone 27-85, with an OPS of 1.21. Wow.

NAY: To those who say Burlington County is in the styx. Sure, we’ve got some cops who like to have sex with cows, but that doesn’t make us hillbillies. Don’t stereotype.

YEA: To the NFL draft. I don’t care what some of these critics say, I love the draft. I look forward to it each year. Even more so this year, since they cut down the time to make picks in the first round. There’s a whole lot of talk this year about the Eagles making some major moves this weekend. Let’s hope it happens, because as is, this team is not a Super Bowl contender. Sounds like Lito might be heading to Tampa Bay.

NAY: To the Montreal Canadiens. As if I needed another reason to despise French Canadians. How conceited do you have to be to choose to speak your own language, opposed to the rest of your country? Imagine if South Dakota just one day decided they were going to change their official language to Portuguese. That’s Quebec for you. They just like to be difficult. The fact that the city went into full fledged riot mode after the team won the ‘FIRST ROUND’ tells you all you need to know. I can’t wait to squash their hopes and dreams.

YEA: To the Madden Curse. In case you haven’t heard, Brett Favre is going to be on the cover of Madden ’09. It will be interesting to see what happens to Favre if he stays retired. The curse doesn’t know if he’s playing or not. Something bad is due to happen. Also, in case you missed it, Favre was on Letterman last night and hinted once again that he will be back on the field come this fall. Loser.

NAY: To the Flyers and their late game collapses. They’ve been doing it all year long, giving up goals in the final minutes. They did it against the Caps and they did it again in game one versus Les Habitants. Painful.

YEA: To the new Harold and Kumar movie. Go see it.

YEA: To last nights ‘Lost’ episode. I actually yelled out loud when they killed Ben’s daughter, point blank. That doesn’t happen in other shows. They tease you saying they are going to kill someone, but nobody ever dies. But not on the island. People die all the time and IT’S AWESOME!

NAY: To the Pistons. Am I the only who is dreading the possibility of another Spurs-Pistons final? I really don’t think the Pistons will lose another game until they get to the Celtics in the Eastern Finals. The Sixers are over…accept it.

YEA: To Yankees fans. I just watched ‘61’ again the other day. Basically, it was a sob story for Roger Maris and the hardships he went through on his way to breaking Babe Ruth’s single season home run record. But am I dumb or wasn’t it the moronic Yankee fans who put him through the ringer? The movie extols Maris and all that he did, making Yankee fans wax nostalgic. But really, it just showed what a bunch of d-bags Yankee fans really are.

YEA: To Marvin Lewis. As much as I’d love to see Chad Johnson in Eagles green, it’s refreshing to see a coach put a player in his place. Go ahead and hold out Chad. The gauntlet has officially been thrown.

Lastly, just to prove how much of a dolt I am, I’m posting my predictions for the first round of tomorrow’s NFL draft. Feel free to submit your own….make a drinking game out of it. If I get 5 of these right I’ll be happy.

1. Miami-Jake Long-Pretty sure I got this one
2. New Orleans-Glenn Dorsey-Saints desparate to trade up to 2
3. Atlanta-Matt Ryan-Everyone says Ryan to Ravens, but Falcons need QB too
4. Oakland-Chris Long-Poor kid
5. Kansas City-Ryan Clady-KC needs to run to win
6. NY Jets-Darren McFadden-Single ladies in NY be warned
7. New England-Vernon Gholston-Pats don’t really need help on offense
8. Baltimore-Branden Albert-Jonathon Ogden successor
9. Cincinnatti- Sedrick Ellis-Bengals pray he falls to 9
10. St. Louis-Derrick Harvey-Rams need to get some sacks
11. Buffalo-Devin Thomas-Pick seems to easy
12. Denver-Jeff Otah-Old O-line needs new blood
13. Carolina-Keith Rivers-USC guys usually overrated
14. Chicago-Chris Williams-O-lineman going like hotcakes
15. Detroit-Leodis McKelvin-Lions have lots of holes
16. Arizona-Dominique-Rogers-Cromartie-DB run
17. Kansas City-Mike Jenkings-Run continues
18. Houston-Rashard Mendenhall-A top RB could put Texans in playoffs
19. Philadelphia-Kenny Phillips-B-Dawk in training
20. Tampa Bay-DeSean Jackson-Just makes sense to go WR
21. Washington-Philip Merling-Pass rush a necessity in DC
22. Dallas-Felix Jones-The other Arkansas RB
23. Pittsburgh-Dan Connor-PSU alum stays in state
24. Tennessee-Aqib Talib-Pac-Man replacement
25. Seattle-Johnathan Stewart-Julius Jones stinks
26. Jacksonville-Antoine Cason-Should start right away
27. San Diego-Malcolm Kelly-Chargers need to win now
28. Dallas-Limas Sweed-Bye-bye Terry Glenn
29. San Francisco-Kentwan Balmer-A bargain if still on the board
30. Green Bay-Jerrod Mayo-Good young defense gets better
31. NY Giants-Keith Rivers-LB help desperately needed