WEEK 4-WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

If week 4 is as good to me as week 3 was, then I’ll be a very happy man.

Week 3-Mixed league H2H-I won 8-1-1, losing the only category Sunday night thanks to Brad Lidge. Tom has Jerry. Bugs has Elmer Fudd. Randy has tiny ankles. I’ve got Brad Lidge. He will follow me to my grave. I hate you.

Week 3-AL only H2H-I won 7-2-1, despite having an ERA over 5 and a WHIP hovering near 1.6. Hitting was the key and my boys did it.

My T-ball girls are 3-0!! Even though we don’t keep score, I know we would have kicked some 7 year old ass if we did. I’ve got a couple of mashers!

I kind of felt like Buttermaker from the original Bad News Bears this past Saturday morning. Not because I was coaching Kelly Leake, but because I was pretty hungover when the game got underway. These early morning games are for the birds.

Chances are, by the time you read this, week 4 will have already gotten underway. That’s because today is the annual Patriots Day game in Boston, when the Sox have their first pitch at 11:05 AM. So if you slept in, tough luck.

There are lots of guys coming back from the DL this week and they should all be reinserted into your lineup ASAP. Curtis Granderson, Scott Rolen and Dioner Navarro all are expected back by Tuesday or Wednesday.

One guy we don’t know about is Ben Sheets. Sheets left his game early last week with triceps soreness. Any other year, this would mean a DL stint. But 2008 is different. 2008 is contract year for Mr. Sheets and I think he’ll find a way to fight through the pain. Prove to everyone that he is different. That he is durable. That he can in fact suck it up and behave like a true ace. Of course, if this happens next year, after he gets his big contract, he’ll be put on the DL before he leaves the mound.

For those of you who listened to me about Jair Jurjenns, congratulations. For those of you who didn’t, ha-ha.

Nice to see Hank the Wank doing everything he can to make the Yankees all about him. Hank has taken it upon himself to mandate that Joba Chamberlain be moved out of the bullpen and into the rotation. It’s sad to think that George Steinbrenner is the rational one right now and he’s a vegetable. I’ll bet nobody throws a temper tantrum like Hankie.

“Why won’t you people listen to me? I played little league! You are so fired when my dad hears about this! Mom, make me a sandwich! And don’t forget to cut off the crusts this time or you are so fired! Get me Cashman on the phone….he is so fired! And somebody tell A-Rod that he needs to hit more home runs. How hard can it be? Hit a home run and I win! Simple. And tell Suzyn Waldman that Hankie is in the mood for a spanky. Same time, same place. Where’s that sandwich?”

I used to feel sorry for Brian Cashman, until he had a chance to get out of New York, but decided to re-up. He probably saw George going down the tubes and thought this would be his chance to really run the Yankees. But then here comes Little Hank!! Sorry B-Cash, but there’s a new jackass in town!

Kosuke Fukudome missed a game yesterday because he had a third eye develop in the middle of his forehead. Reports are that Lou Pinella plans on cutting it out and giving it to Felix Pie, because his eyes obviously don’t work.

Several Red Sox notes, so hold on tight.

Big Papi is hitting. If you were silly enough to bail on him, you get what you deserve.

An interesting battle is taking place in the Sox infield, though you might not know it. Jed Lowrie has been called up and is playing third base for the injured Mike Lowell. This does several things.

First, it proves my point that Sean Casey is persona non grata, especially in fantasy. He hasn’t been relevant since 1999, and that’s being generous.

Second, Lowrie is a shortstop. Lowrie has from now until when Lowell returns to outplay Julio Lugo. If he does, the Sox just might move Lowrie to short and move Lugo to the bench. Julio has been pretty awful so far, especially in the field, so Lowrie has a golden opportunity in front of him.

Third, keep the faith with Clay Buchholz. His first three starts have come against the Yankees and the Blue Jays, two lineups which can mash, especially right handers. Buchholz has terrific stuff, but a lot of people seem to have soured on him based on his so-so first three games. Stick with him.

Garry Sheffield, one of the guys I touted highly this spring, is complaining about his shoulder again. I say give him a cortisone shot and shove him out there. I need you Sheff!

Two of the streakiest hitters in all of baseball are heating up. Edwin Encarnacion and Khalil Greene have both finally woken up and when these guys are on, they can practically carry your team. It’s waiting out the doldrums which is tough. Greene has five of the next 7 games at home, which is usually a killer to his power. But after that, he hits the road. Homers are coming.

I know Eric Gagne imploded on Sunday, but what the hell is Ned Yost doing pitching him four straight games? Nobody does that, let alone a guy with a long injury history such as Gagne. He’s a bottom end closer, but I guarantee Gagne is in no danger of losing his job, which is more than a lot of closers can say.

How much did the Phillies screw up this whole J-Roll thing? Instead of immediately placing him on the DL when he first injured the ankle, they messed around with it, pinch hitting him whenever they could, only to be forced to finally disable him on Sunday. More than a week after the injury occurred.

If I ever run into Jeremy Accardo in a bar, I feel the need to pick up his tab. On April 8th, I wrote how it was possible Accardo might not cede the closers job when BJ Ryan returned. At that point, Accardo had been untouchable. Since then, here are his numbers: 5IP, 7 hits, 2 walks, 2 strikeouts, ERA 14.40. Sorry bro.

I love the fact that Chris Young could go 30-30, but I am not sure if the guy is capable of hitting .230. We make fun of guys like Adam Dunn and Pat Burrell because they mash 40 homers, but bat .250. Young is worse than that and I don’t know how he’s going to change. They aren’t going to send him down for some extra work. He is what he is. A batting average albatross.

And finally, week 4’s top target. Each week I’m going to suggest someone for you to go out and trade for. Someone who’s stock is extremely low. So low, that you should be able to steal him.

This week’s target is Brandon Phillips. After last year’s breakout, owners were expecting monster numbers from the second baseman. But so far, he’s been a dud, with just 1 homer and 3 steals. The 5 RBIs are pretty crappy too. Go get him, before he heats up with the weather. 30-30 second sackers don’t grow on trees.

If you do happen to get Phillips, I’d like to hear about it and congratulate you. Leave a comment on the board telling me how you got him. I’ll be working on him myself and if I’m successful, I’ll do the same.

Go Flyers!!!!!