National Holiday

Americans work too much. It’s easy to say, but in reality, when you compare labor in the U.S. to other countries around the world, we are way overworked.

Canada basically shuts down for the summer! Believe me, I know, because I grew up in Wildwood and had to endure the annual migration of the French Canadian every August. If you think people around here don’t know how to drive, you haven’t been stuck behind Jean-Pierre while he’s cruising down Rio Grande Boulevard in his speedo on a hot summer day.

I’m pretty sure ‘Je Me Souviens’ means ‘I’ve got my 3 brothers, 4 sisters, 6 kids, 2 wives and my in-laws in the back of this minivan. Look out.’

If you’ve never worked in retail and had to deal with a French Canadian, you haven’t lived. For some reason they think the United States is one giant yard sale, because all they wanted to do was barter.

‘Zis boogie board….20 dollars, is too much…I give you 5, okay?’

All day long.

But I realize now why they had to cut corners. Why they had to squeeze 4 families into their caravan like it was a clown car. It’s because they had 2 months of vacation and needed to ration out their cash.

Americans get a week, so we can go nuts for seven days. We’d better spend it now, because we’re not going to have another vacation for 8 months.

My point is we need to add some more free days to keep our workforce from imploding. And one of those days should be today….opening day in Major League Baseball.

I love the opening round of the NCAA Tournament.

I hate being hung over the day after the Super Bowl.

I used to love watching all the Bowl games on New Years Day.

I love my kids and being there with them on Christmas morning.

But if you told me today that I was only going to have one day off all year long, I would have a hard time not picking Opening Day as that day.

From one to one, we’ve got games on the tele, non-stop. Teams you might not see again all season long. Who knows when I’ll get to see the Royals again?

In case you missed it, there have been three games played already, so technically, opening day has come and gone. But with those three games, we’ve already learned a ton fantasy wise.

-Until the Red Sox deal Coco Crisp, neither him nor Jacoby Ellsbury is going to have much value fantasy-wise. Terry Francona can’t bench Coco, because then he will lose him altogether. And Ellsbury is too good a talent to be sent back to Pawtucket. So for the time being, they’ll split time and you’ll be stuck getting just 3 games a week from one of your outfielders. Not fun.

-Manny Ramirez practiced yoga in the offseason to become more focused and its working. Either that or he realizes that if he dogs it this year, he’s going to lose out on 20 million dollars. Manny is much smarter than people realize. He might be quirky and a little off, but he understands the American monetary system like nobody else.

-Daric Barton knows how to walk and he looks perfectly content to do so more often than not. As an owner of Barton in several leagues, I wish he would swing away. A walk isn’t as good as a hit. Remember that, kids.

-Elijah Dukes doesn’t like the cold. It was a frigid 49 degrees in D.C. last night, but Dukes pulled a hammy, blaming it on the cold temps. He’s already been put on the D.L., leaving the Nats very thin in the outfield.

-Jon Rauch was given a shot to close last night when Chad Cordero couldn’t get loose. Rauch blew it. And if you remember, Rauch wasn’t all that successful last year filling in when Cordero was injured. Some guys are just meant to be setup men. If Cordero goes down again this year, don’t be surprised if Rauch doesn’t get the call to replace him.

-The Braves aren’t going to be as good as everyone thought. I felt this way before last night’s game, but all the pundits kept building them up. But really, after Smoltz and Hudson, who is in that rotation? Tom Glavine….Chuck James…Mike Hampton….Jair Jurrjens. I just don’t see it. Not when they have to play the Mets and Phillies 40 times.

-Some other stuff to watch today:

-The Blue Jays have a chance to live up to their pre-season hype, opening the year with a series in the Bronx. If they are for real, they can make a statement right out of the gate.

-The two teams who should battle it out all season in the NL Central get the rivalry started right away, as the Brewers visit the Cubs. Sheets versus Zambrano…good stuff.

-Livan Hernandez is the starting pitcher for Minnesota’s home opener. Time to get exicted Twins fans!!

-Juan Pierre and his 10 million dollar salary has been pushed to the bench by Joe Torre. Nobody is going to trade for him, so playing time for Pierre will end up coming via injury or a major slump by Ethier or Kemp. Too bad he can’t play third base, because right now, it’s a black hole for the Dodgers.

Pierre will be a terrific buy low candidate if he doesn’t play much in week 1. Swoop in and take him off the hands of some ticked off owner….by the time the season is out, Pierre will end up with at least 40 steals, no matter what.

-I’m officially boycotting anything Devil Ray. Evan Longoria hit nearly .400 this spring, yet the Rays send him back down to the minors, due to financial reasons. Willie Aybar is his replacement. Willie Aybar. Seriously. Willie Aybar.

-The savior toes the rubber for the Mets today as they visit the wretched Marlins. If Johan and the Mets lose this game, I will stay away from WFAN for the next week, because I can’t bear to hear the whining.

So break out the hot dogs and dust off the cotton candy machine that’s been sitting in the back of your closet. And say goodbye to your wife and kids for the next 6 months….I love you honey….We’ll talk again in October, I swear.