THAT’S RANK!!!

It’s pitchers and catchers time!!! Hallelujah! Too bad nothing is going to really happen for a couple more weeks. But, it’s the thought that counts, right?

Just think, in a little over a month, we won’t care about the garbage on television thanks to the writers strike. We’ll have baseball seven nights a week!! So you’re officially on notice ‘Lipstick Jungle.’ Enjoy your remaining time on the air. I can’t say you’ll be missed.

Now, it’s time for my rankings. Since it is Valentine’s Day and love is in the air, I’ve broken down each position into five, lovely categories. They are as follows:

Tier 1-Scarlett Johansson-Top of the list…consider yourself blessed to have them.

Tier 2-Jessica Biel-You’re glad to have them, but you are always going to be looking up and saying ‘Lindsay is nice, but, man, I could have had her!’

Tier 3-Britney Spears-Already over the hill, but holding out for a comeback. You want them, but you can’t understand exactly why.

Tier 4-Jessica Simpson-You’ll take them, but then you spend a month with them and you want to shoot yourself in the face.

Tier 5-Paris Hilton-You’ll take them, but you feel dirty about it. Plus, you know that by the time the year is over, they’ll have been on everybody else’s team at least once.

I’ve listed players in exact order of preference. I’ll update this list periodically throughout spring training. We’ll start on the infield.

Catchers
AL

Tier 1 Victor Martinez

Tier 2 Jorge Posada
Kenji Johjima
Joe Mauer
Jarrod Saltalamacchia

Tier 3 Jason Varitek
Ivan Rodriguez
A.J. Pierzynski
Ramon Hernandez

Tier 4 Mike Napoli
Gregg Zaun
John Buck
Kurt Suzuki
Gerald Laird

Tier 5 Miguel Olivo
Dioner Navarro
Kelly Shoppach
Curtis Thigpen
Jeff Mathis
Doug Mirabelli

NL

Tier 1 Russell Martin
Brian McCann

Tier 2 Geovany Soto
Ryan Doumit
Bengie Molina
J.R. Towles
Josh Bard

Tier 3 Carlos Ruiz
David Ross
Ronny Paulino
Paul LoDuca
Chris Snyder

Tier 4 Yorvit Torrealba
Brian Schnedier
Yadier Molina
Johnny Estrada
Mike Rabelo

Tier 5 Jason Kendall
Javy Lopez
Michael Barrett


First Baseman
AL

Tier 1 Justin Morneau

Tier 2 Paul Konerko
Victor Martinez
Nick Swisher
Carlos Guillen
Alex Gordon

Tier 3 Kevin Youkilis
Daric Barton
Carlos Pena
Aubrey Huff
Ryan Garko
Jarrod Saltalamacchia
Casey Kotchman

Tier 4 Ben Broussard
Lyle Overbay
Richie Sexson
Kevin Millar
Brad Wilkerson

Tier 5 Matt Stairs
Ryan Shealy
Dan Johnson
Ross Gload

NL

Tier 1 Albert Pujols
Ryan Howard
Prince Fielder

Tier 2 Lance Berkman
Mark Teixeira
Adrian Gonzalez

Tier 3 James Loney
Joey Votto
Adam LaRoche
Derek Lee
Todd Helton

Tier 4 Conor Jackson
Dmitri Young
Carlos Delgado
Mike Jacobs

Tier 5 Dan Ortmeier
Nick Johnson
Nomar Garciaparra
Rich Aurilia


Second Basemen
AL

Tier 1 BJ Upton
Robinson Cano
Brian Roberts

Tier 2 Ian Kinsler
Mark Ellis
Aaron Hill
Placido Polanco

Tier 3 Jose Lopez
Erick Aybar
Dustin Pedroia
Howie Kendrick

Tier 4 Asdrubal Cabrera
Mark Grudzielanek
Brendan Harris

Tier 5 Maicer Itzuris
Josh Barfield

NL
Tier 1 Chase Utley
Brandon Phillips

Tier 2 Dan Uggla
Rickie Weekes
Freddie Sanchez
Ty Wigginton
Jeff Kent
Kelly Johnson
Orlando Hudson

Tier 3 Luis Castillo
Kaz Matsui
Yunel Escobar
Mark DeRosa
Felipe Lopez

Tier 4 Tadahito Iguchi
Ryan Theriot
Ray Durham

Tier 5 Marcus Giles
Adam Kennedy
Ronnie Belliard

Third Basemen

AL

Tier 1 Alex Rodriguez
Miguel Cabrera

Tier 2 Mike Lowell
Adrian Beltre
Chone Figgins
Alex Gordon

Tier 3 Evan Longoria
Casey Blake
Hank Blalock
Josh Fields
Akinori Iwamura
Scott Rolen


Tier 4 Melvin Mora
Joe Crede
Eric Chavez


Tier 5 Mike Lamb
Maicer Izturis
Brandon Inge
Nick Punto

NL

Tier 1 David Wright
Ryan Braun

Tier 2 Aramis Ramirez
Ryan Zimmerman
Garrett Atkins
Chipper Jones

Tier 3 Edwin Encarnacion
Kevin Kouzmanoff
Mark Reynolds
Troy Glaus
Ian Stewart
Ty Wigginton
Pedro Feliz
Yunel Escobar
Andy LaRoche

Tier 4 Rich Aurilia
Chad Tracy
Mark DeRosa
Jose Bautista

Tier 5 Dallas McPherson
Nomar Garciaparra
Chase Headley
Greg Dobbs

Shortstops

AL

Tier 1 Carlos Guillen
Derek Jeter

Tier 2 Michael Young
Jhonny Peralta
Orlando Cabrera

Tier 3 Edgar Renteria
Julio Lugo
Yuniesky Betancourt

Tier 4 Bobby Crosby
Brendan Harris
Erick Aybar
Jason Bartlett

Tier 5 David Eckstein
Adam Everett
Juan Uribe
Luis Hernandez
Tony Pena

NL

Tier 1 Hanley Ramirez
Jimmy Rollins
Jose Reyes

Tier 2 Troy Tulowitzki
Miguel Tejada
JJ Hardy
Khalil Greene
Rafael Furcal

Tier 3 Alex Gonzalez
Stephen Drew
Yunel Escobar

Tier 4 Ryan Theriot
Felipe Lopez
Jack Wilson
Omar Vizquel

Tier 5 Cristian Guzman
Brendan Ryan

OUTFIELD RANKINGS

AL

Tier 1- Vladimir Guerrero
Grady Sizemore
Alex Rios
Carl Crawford
Curtis Granderson
BJ Upton
Manny Ramirez
Ichiro Suzuki
Magglio Ordonez
Nick Markakis

Tier 2 Bobby Abreu
Vernon Wells
Nick Swisher
Raul Ibanez
Delmon Young
Hideki Matsui
Michael Cuddyer
Torii Hunter
Johnny Damon
Luke Scott

Tier 3 Jacoby Ellsbury
Jermaine Dye
Josh Hamilton
Jason Kubel
Adam Jones
Jose Guillen
David DeJesus
Josh Fields
JD Drew
Rocco Baldelli
Gary Matthews Jr.
Johnny Gomes
Carlos Gomez
Carlos Quentin
Jacques Jones
Jack Cust
Milton Bradley
Brad Wilkerson
Travis Buck

Tier 4 Coco Crisp
Garrett Anderson
Carlos Gonzalez
Matt Stairs
Craig Monroe
Mark Teahen
Marlon Byrd
Franklin Gutierrez

Tier 5 Jerry Owens
Ben Broussard
David Delucci
Emil Brown
Frank Catalanatto
Marcus Thames
Reed Johnson
Reggie Willits
Melky Cabrera
Jason Michaels
Jay Payton
Juan Rivera

NL

Tier 1 Matt Holliday
Alfonso Soriano
Carlos Beltran
Lance Berkman
Carlos Lee
Brad Hawpe

Tier 2 Chris Young
Adam Dunn
Eric Byrnes
Hunter Pence
Andruw Jones
Jeff Francoeur
Kosuke Fukudome
Ken Griffey
Jeremy Hermida
Corey Hart
Jason Bay
Shane Victorino
Moises Alou
Matt Kemp
Rick Ankiel

Tier 3 Pat Burrell
Aaron Rowand
Michael Bourn
Cameron Maybin
Brian Giles
Geoff Jenkins
Jay Bruce
Josh Willingham
Juan Pierre
Xavier Nady
Chris Duncan
Mike Cameron
Austin Kearns
Ryan Doumit
Bill Hall
Justin Upton

Tier 4 Matt Diaz
Ryan Freel
Wily Taveras
Dave Roberts
Wily Mo Pena
Ryan Ludwick
Andre Ethier
Lastings Milledge
Jose Bautista
Felix Pie
Mark Kotsay
Randy Winn

Tier 5 Luis Gonzalez
Nyjer Morgan
Jim Edmonds
Brandon Jones
Nate McLouth
Scott Hairston
Jayson Werth
Gabe Gross
Stephen Pearce
Juan Gonzalez
Skip Schumaker




DESIGNATED HITTERS

Tier 1 David Ortiz

Tier 2 Gary Sheffield
Travis Hafner

Tier 3 Jim Thome
Frank Thomas

Tier 4 Billy Butler
Jason Giambi

Tier 5 Jose Vidro
Mike Sweeney