THIS IS WHY FOOTBALL IS KING

Warning: shocking information to follow.

But first, some things:

Am I a bad person for wishing it would have been Darren Howard stabbed in the neck during a barroom altercation instead of Charles Grant? Cap space, baby!

Do you think that if somebody spilled chocolate sauce on the Lombardi Trophy, Doug Williams would have tried to eat it?

Tom Petty is who we thought he was. A boring old guy.

If Jeremy Shockey were home alone, what do you think he would have shouted when his replacement Kevin Boss caught that long pass in the 4th quarter? I’d stake a lot that it wasn’t yippee.

Best commercial of the night: The E-Trade commercial’s with the baby and the creepy clown. The rest were very ordinary. I guess the writers strike is affecting commercials as well.

Did you notice that Fox’s Frank Caliendo had to sit in the noseblood seats? Funniest thing I’ve seen all year involving him.

Nice move by the Cartoon Network airing 10 hours of Scooby-Doo prior to the game. I needed an excuse not to go outside on a beautiful, sunny, 50 degree Sunday.

Steve Spagnuolo is going to go from specialty coach, to defensive coordinator to head coach in a span of three years. That’s what you call jumping the gun. Keep up the good work Dan Snyder.

Now, on to the shocking truth. I feel so dirty.

Revelation #1: I hate the Giants. (You should know that already)

Revelation #2: I would have been content if the Giants got lambasted by the Patriots. (I know, another shock…just wait, alright!)

Revelation #3: I rooted my butt off for the Giants once the game began.

I’m prepared to take all your flack. Giants fans especially. As an Eagles fan, it is my responsibility to trash anything associated with ‘big blue.’ It’s an understanding between the two sides. Crunch Bunch. Enough said.

And don’t get me wrong, I still detest you. Don’t take it personal. You guys stink.

But on my life, you can ask my dog, I was standing up and rooting for this team last night. Probably more than Jeremy Shockey was. I can’t put an exact finger on why, but I truly was. I’m still coming to terms on why this happened.

Maybe it was because they were heavy underdogs. It’s always much easier to root for the prey than for the hunter. Upsets are what make life worth living. And of course, I never can get enough of ‘nobody gave us a chance. Nobody gave us respect.’ Yeah, only the 40 percent of the people who predicted you would win. But besides them, nobody gave you a chance.

Maybe it’s because of Joe Montana. The greatest quarterback who ever played the game. My idol. DO NOT MENTION tom brady IN THE SAME BREATH AS JOE MONTANA. If you do, we’re gonna’ throw. It made me giddy to see Tom get decked as much as he did. Cocky little Michigan twerp.

Maybe it’s because of the ’72 Dolphins. I know they are old and decrepit and to be perfectly honest, kind of pathetic. But I didn’t want the Patriots to be called the greatest team of all-time. That title is reserved for the 2010 Eagles. Place your bets now-I’ve been to the future.

I also love the fact that even though that Dolphins team went undefeated that year, they aren’t even in the conversation when it comes to greatest team ever. They weren’t even favored to win versus the Redskins in the Super Bowl. The ‘85 Bears, 70’s Steelers, ’89 49ers, early ‘90’s Cowboys. They all get props, but the Fish don’t. Maybe that’s why those geezers are so crabby.

More than likely it’s Bill Belichick. He is the devil. He really is a pretty awful person. Jets fans have been saying this for years. But this year, he showed the rest of the country how rotten he truly is. The Spygate thing obviously stands out. But what if the scandal surrounding 36 is true and they did videotape the Rams walkthrough. Could there be anything worse than that? I mean, who cares about a regular season game against the Jets. I think they lost to Fleetwood Elementary this year. But the Super Bowl? Can someone really want to win that badly? I think his dad must have been Dick Cheney.

And could Bill have been shown less sportsmanship at the end of the game? Walking off the field before it was officially over….some student of the game you are. Randy Moss did that a couple years ago and got killed for it. I hope the same happens to Bill in the coming days. And if you didn’t catch his post-game interview, go look for it on youtube or something, because you missed a treat. He sounded like Mumbles from the Dick Tracy movie. It was glorious. He answered four or five questions and I didn’t understand a single one.

And what do you think the over/under is on time he’ll spend with his family during this off-season? I’ll put money down on 3 hours and 15 minutes.

Maybe it’s the whole New England/Boston thing. Fans from that area have been getting a little too big for their britches. They just need to take a step back and relax. After being Larry Bird and a bunch of bottom dwellers for 20 years, things have taken a turn for the better. I’ve got it on good authority that the Red Sox will win 3 of the next 4 World Series, so just be happy with that. I know I will be. (Sox Rule!)

One last possibility could be my hatred for Tiki Barber. If there is ever a competition for most egotistical person on the planet, I think it would come down to Tiki and that 90 year old prince who is on all the tabloid shows and says that he slept with all these hot models and actresses. 2006 was all about Tiki. And the Giants paid for it, exiting in the first round of the playoffs.

This year, Tiki sits on his NBC perch, taking shots at his former teammates. Maybe, just maybe, this helped to galvanize the remaining Giants. Tiki might have a sweet gig on television, shining those pearly whites that he bought with Wellington Mara’s money, but he’ll never be able to call himself a champion. Hooray.

I had the pleasure of visiting Giants Stadium for the first time this year, to watch the Eagles without their best player (Westbrook), their All-Pro Safety (Dawkins), and starting left tackle (Thomas). The Giants sacked Donovan about 13 or 14 times, but barely hung on to win, despite all those advantages: a hideous game all around.

And if I learned one thing from my visit, it was that I’m glad I didn’t have to go back, because my I.Q. dropped about 20 points that night, just by being in the proximity of those 40,000 nincompoops.

But congratulations, because now you can call yourselves Super Bowl Champion nincompoops, which is something each and every one of us Eagles fans would die for.

Let the countdown to training camp commence.